Posted by katekite on May 3, 2002, at 21:26:05
In reply to Ugly.., posted by LiLAngelJenna on May 3, 2002, at 19:20:09
I'm sorry you are so disheartened about this. I wish I could help by saying I've been through this in the way you are going through it. I have had what is probably normal, extreme worry at extreme times (like before dates etc), and I try not to care too much.... but social anxiety I'm an expert at.
Your issue is hard, because what you have is a real thing.... you aren't just looking for attention (the way after a new haircut someone might say "my hair is so short", not asking for compliments...its not a minor thing for you. Plus its not something you talk about and be taken seriously: 'I'm worried I'm ugly' usually gets a laugh. (unless your brother were around). And unless you didn't mention it, you aren't anorexic meaning you have no physical part to things meaning no one knows what's going on inside you. And it sounds like it affects your social life. Its not like a passing worry about prom night. And even if you've mentioned it to someone they most likely will have said, 'oh everyone worries about looks, you're fine, you have nothing to worry about.' (which wouldn't feel true at all but its hard to argue with.)
Here's a link to a website that has information about this issue:There is also a book called The Broken Mirror, author named Katherine Philips, that might be helpful.
The good news is other people have gotten this type of thinking under control, either through therapy or with the help of medication. I think the most common medication used would be the ssris like Paxil, Luvox, Zoloft, which are all used for more than just depression.
I know it doesn't probably seem like the kind of thing one would go to a doctor over, but it is if its affecting your life to the point of avoiding going out on a date or with friends or if your brother's comments bother you as much as it sounds like they do. Its a vicious cycle if you are avoiding going places because then you are less used to hanging out with people and that in itself gets harder just from lack of practice. Plus friends get used to you saying no and then they don't ask as much.
Hope this helps a little. One does not have to be anorexic or have bulemia in order for negative self perception to keep you from enjoying life. Anything that is keeping you from enjoying life is something to find help for.
Please keep in mind I'm not a doctor or anything, I just happen to have had a wonderful (and awesome looking) college roomate who struggled for a while with something that sounds similar. I might be totally off base in what direction to point you....so take what I say with a grain of salt.
You did come to the right place though... keep looking around.
Hope it gets easier for you soon.
kate
poster:katekite
thread:104973
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020503/msgs/104996.html