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out of control anger

Posted by KB on February 20, 2002, at 10:54:04

Yesterday I had a totally out-of-control anger experience - I'd been in court all day, waiting for a client's case to come up. I finally got done at 5pm, and called into my office to see if they had any documents for me to read - I was going to offer to go out of my way to pick them up and take them home to read - and instead my boss was all bitchy with me because I hadn't been there to work on a grant!!! Apparently the executive dir. got on her case about my not being there, so she decided to pass it on to me. I was furious because I will make sure that the grant gets done even if it means I have to work extra hours this week, but also I REALLY can't tolerate being ordered to do things.

Luckily I was on a pay phone and ran out of change because a lot of very rude things were on the tip of my tongue and I was so furious I just wanted to quit on the spot. I went from being quite calm when I made the call to being furious, crying, wanting to quit, and having - fleeting - thoughts of overdosing or stepping in front of a bus. I walked briskly for about a mile and a half - in dress shoes, oh, the blisters!!! - and finally managed to get a bit of a grip, but I'm afraid that she'll bring it up today and I don't know if I'll be able to restrain myself.


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:KB thread:94779
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020215/msgs/94779.html