Posted by v on July 17, 2001, at 6:19:13
In reply to Re: i need help--Hi V, posted by dove on July 16, 2001, at 22:34:17
thank you so much for your post...
it's incredible to me that hearing (well, reading, but i feel as if i "hear" these posts) some of the same things as i'm experiencing really does lessen this isolation i'm all wrapped up in..in the past, reaching out, hasn't always helped so i'm wondering if somewhere in this quagmire of drugs, i'm actually getting some benefits that are hard to distinguish.. like even though i still feel like crap, i'm not thinking about suicide... i'm used to comforting myself with the knowledge that i have an out from all this & that option doesn't feel available to me right now...
knowing that is confusing me even more... i am feeling incredibly frustrated about this whole damn thing.. i hate taking meds... i hate having to find combinations - all the trial & error while i flounder - i especially hate feeling as if someone (pdocs) & something (meds) have all this control over me
i want you to know how much your post has helped me... you validated not only some of my feelings & experiences but reminded me that in the middle of my insanity... with all my fragments running around... someone, somewhere inside me sees the big picture... now if i could only hear her... :)
blessings,
v> Alrighty, you've done your fair share of med trials and now your new p-doc is doing *their* thing with your mind, and I feel for you big-time!!!
>
> I have done an Adderall, Wellbutrin, Prozac, Amitriptyline combo and almost went over the edge. I got rid of the Prozac, and some stability returned but I was all full of nerves, nervous energy with no drive or ambition to actually *do* anything. It drove me nuts, and I became very angry with myself.
>
> So, I got rid of the Wellbutrin and found myself in a much better place. From there we added Serzone. It smooths but doesn't jump-start. It is very-very difficult to pinpoint what it does for me other than helping my libido and smoothing some rough edges here and there. However, if I forget to take it I get very nauseous and queasy.
>
> From there we added Neurontin to the mix. Right at first I felt super-great, like a new lease on life. Unfortunately, within 6 weeks that wore off and lowering or increasing the dosage made no difference. Neurontin also seems very much like the Serzone, there are no surprises just subtleties that prove it's doing something or other.
>
> Next addition: Klonopin. Only 1.5 mgs per day and it has made such a dent in both my depression and anxiety/panic attacks that it is quite amazing. I never knew there was a med that works well without the ups-and-downs of meds like Ativan.
>
> However, over time, I seem to have lost my motivation yet again and have added Prozac back into the picture. I've had a hard time wiht Prozac in the past, but I started slower and lower this time and there haven't been any big surprises (like wanting to throw myself out the window.).
>
> Current cocktail: Amitriptyline, Serzone, Adderall, Klonopin, Neurontin, and Prozac. I feel better than in the past, and have been hammered by some big personal family stuff besides and I think I'm doing much better. The one med that really didn't agree with me was the Wellbutrin, which surprised my doc's, they were so sure that this would be their final success for stabilizing me, they were wrong.
>
> There are lots of meds to look at, and you already have experience and knowledge. What your instincts tell you should not be discounted! And klonopin was very different from all the other benzo's I've had experience with, as well as all those mood-stabilizers. It is nothing like Tegretol, or even Neurontin. If you feel in your gut that you should give it a go, then ask your doc and go for it!!!
>
> Best of luck to you :o)
>
> dove
poster:v
thread:70193
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010714/msgs/70449.html