Posted by desertbred on March 17, 2001, at 13:12:32
In reply to What does it feel like when you are cured?, posted by J on March 10, 2001, at 1:43:01
> I've been pondering this question for the past hour, so I've decided to put it to the group. When you've suffered from depression for a long time, how do you know when you're cured? Like all of you, I'm desparately seeking the right meds that will "cure" me, but I really don't know what to expect from a supposedly normal life. Assuming I find some miraculous drug cocktail that knocks out all the symptoms of my disorder, then what? How do I separate the sick parts of my life from the healthy? What is the line that separates normal feeling and emotions from the depression that I'm trying to cure?
>
> I've oversimplified my questions to shorten this post, but I hope everyone understands what I'm trying to say.
>
> J.J - what a wonderful question. It's so "zen," but it's also something that I believe we need to keep discussing with our doctors for very practical reasons. I have also suffered for a very long time (since adolescence) with malady or maladies undiagnosed until quite recently. Even then, my dx has changed significantly once (we're thinking BP II right now). The challenge for us is to overcome decades of distorted thinking. Do I wish daily for a "happy pill?" You bet. Because the distorted thinking is the norm for me - I tend to look around at what other people do and think "they're crazy - that will never work!" -- although recently I've at least reached the point of saying "I envy them - that would never work for *me*" - still a defeatist, depressed point of view. And I do believe that correcting this ("curing" it, if you will, although I shy away from that word) has to involve both pharmaceutical input and hard mental work - I have to help to change my thinking by changing my thinking.... And how will I know when (or if) I *do* arrive at a "normal" point? I think for me, it will be a combination of things: I will probably rely a great deal on a shrink I trust; and I will take stock of my life and decide whether it holds the things I want it to. You mentioned "sick parts" of your life - first of all, go a little easier on yourself: are you vivisecting small animals in your basement? ;-) Secondly - as our thought processes emerge from the cloud of depression, it will be easier to identify and simply leave behind those things (or people) you don't want to have in your life any longer. Only the depression makes this process agonizingly impossible. You also mentioned a "line" separating "normal" feelings from depression: I don't believe in a "line." We are all on a spectrum. You are responsible for defining for yourself when you reach that part of the spectrum where you feel comfortable, and capable of dealing with what life brings you. No one can really do that for you, IMHO. (Yeah, no one said it wasn't going to be semi-tough!) Are there some guidelines in this society/culture? Sure. Being able to get out of bed and go to work each day, for example. And I'm not being the least bit facetious here, folks. Bottom line: what to expect from "a normal life" - it's still *your* life. Expect to be the best possible *you.* I hope you get there - best wishes.
poster:desertbred
thread:56097
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010310/msgs/56764.html