Posted by claudea on April 5, 2000, at 22:25:34
In reply to who am I????, posted by Carolyn on April 5, 2000, at 20:03:11
I can relate. When I was depressed and not medicated (before diagnosis) I was so unpredictable my co-workers and friends were afraid to talk to me because they didn't know how I would act. And when I was manic I could go two different ways: 1. Bitchy, agitated and erratic (like I was on illegal drugs as some friends say) or 2. (the most common) like I was so full of energy, yet drunk at the same time (that is the one everyone, including me, liked best). Now, unless my meds act up I feel like I don't know who I am either--like I am just there--with all creativity and passion gone.
Sigh....I can relate..
> I saw my pdoc two days ago. He has an excellent reputation, and I have had a good relationship with him for the past 12 years. He is a very good psychopharmacologist. I questioned him about my diagnosis, which is Major Depressive Disorder primarily, but with a secondary diagnosis of Personality Disorder. I asked what exactly that meant. He explained...I still could not see how this related to me, so asked for examples in myself. His answers truly surprised me. His assessment of my personality is not at all in congruence with my own. So I shared some of this with my husband and close friends. All were also baffled. I can, however, see that some of what he says is evident in my personality when I am depressed. However, I seem to be a totally different person when not depressed (and a much nicer one!). This changes almost overnight when I find the right medication (which poops out and needs adjusting every few years).
>
> Am I the only one who seems to undergo a total personality change between my depressed and medicated selves? And I am wondering which one is the real me????
poster:claudea
thread:29013
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000401/msgs/29031.html