Posted by Racer on September 9, 2004, at 10:36:24
In reply to Re: Musing about dx again, any thoughts?, posted by SLS on September 9, 2004, at 8:09:54
I don't do anything well enough!
LoL
(Remember, *everything* my mother does is flawless. It's only as an adult that I can see that she doesn't *do* anything that she can't do flawlessly...)
Yeah, I'm a touch obsessive, and a perfectionist. The actual perfectionism I fight by *doing* things and by making it a rule to *finish* things -- even if I think they're not good enough. The obsessiveness is part of the eating, because I do get obsessive about what and whether to eat, and I do obsess about food. I guess the difference is that I look in the mirror and don't see a thin person -- I really do see someone who strongly resembles the Venus of Willendorf -- and that I get obsessed with getting thin enough. And I get obsessed about the numbers on the scale -- even though I know that they're not really good numbers.
The two are certainly related, but my question is really about whether or not it makes sense to me to ask about having the diagnosis made official, in case I come across another Dr EyeCandy in future. That's probably obsessive, too, but what the heck?
By the way, the Cymbalta has had one effect on this whole thing so far: before the whole crash-and-burn over the last visit to Dr EyeCandy and the first visit to Dr NoName and starting Cymbalta, I was getting much more obsessive about my body -- thinking in terms of plastic surgery, for example -- but now, while that same plastic surgery is still in the back of my mind (where it's actually been since my mid teens -- the difference is 'back of my mind' versus 'front of my mind'), it's not coming to the front daily anymore.
(Thought it was time to say something good about Cymbalta. And it might still work, this might just be adjustment stuff, or interaction with the couple of weeks of real misery from the explosion over Dr EyeCandy, or just that I'm worn down and my resistance is lowered all the way around. I'm also going to ask about beta blockers to see if that helps the tension. Might be enough to kick it over the edge. In the meantime, though, it's still not making friends with me yet.)
Scott, dear Scott -- thank you. You make me feel better just by seeing your name. I say you're a warm person, so it must be true.
poster:Racer
thread:387717
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040626/msgs/388667.html