Posted by shar on May 26, 2004, at 21:45:58
In reply to Ruminating, posted by Racer on May 26, 2004, at 11:19:26
If it is any help, Sweetie, there is no such thing as a bad.....
>Internal Ten Year Old (IT) starts screaming, "It's not fair! It's not my fault!" >
That's how it SHOULD be! And for all the other things that happened, too!
Your mom was probably doing her best, but that does not make the pain and anguish you experienced at her hands or other hands disappear! Wouldn't we all love it if our kids didn't bear the 'sins of their fathers'? I sure feel that way about my son. I've told him that if ONE parent had a good, loving home that can make a difference (he's thinking about getting married and maybe having children)...and I hope what I told him is true, because he did not. I was not raised in a loving home. I did my best to raise him as lovingly as possible, but I know I was deficient (as, I think, your mom was) because I had a horrible role model. My BEST hope for him is that is wife-2-B had good parents.
I feel sad about that, but I know that he has to deal with my deficiencies, just as you have to deal with your mom's deficiencies (and I don't mean any disrespect, just that it's a fact), and I'm sorry you do and that he does, too.
More than anything, dammit, I wish none of us had to deal with ANY of this BS!
> Thank you for being a safe place for me.
oooh, that is such a nice thing to say. Thank YOU for being here. Just as you are.
xoxo
Shar
poster:shar
thread:350747
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040501/msgs/350950.html