Posted by Racer on April 17, 2004, at 13:12:52
In reply to Re: Whether or not to take a vacation in hospital? » Racer, posted by noa on April 17, 2004, at 8:24:08
My husband came home early on Thursday, saying first that he came home because he was worried about me, then admitting that the company he just started working for had shut down. They shut down because they decided it was too expensive to have a US office, because health insurance was just too expensive. They didn't even tell the head of the US division that they'd made the decision about the same time the US office opened.
So, while getting to a "real" doctor would be nice, it really doesn't look as if it's possible.
Another Bad Thing happened on Friday. I have been having pretty horrible stomach pain, and the doctors at Planned Parenthood -- the only option for primary care available to me right now -- had ordered an ultrasound to check my gallbladder. Well, apparently my gallbladder is fine. They did find some problems on my liver, though, and the radiologist kept asking Hepatitis C questions, and saying pretty specifically that that's what he thought it was. Now, I donated blood regularly until we moved here, and I think PP did a liver panel including all the Hepatitis flavors that came back normal, but it's still pretty damn frightening. Honestly, I think I'd prefer liver cancer, since at least then I'd know the outcome. (And don't bring up transplants -- I could donate an organ, but I couldn't accept a donated organ. Belief systems don't have to make sense to anyone else, you know? Hearing someone try to convince me to change my belief system is pretty much akin to telling me to change my religion.) Of course it happened on a Friday, when there's no way to get more info from the clinic. Instead, it's more time to worry.
Our marriage counselor had my husband call to see if the current pdoc could see me on an emergency basis during our session yesterday. He did manage to get my next appointment moved up, but now I still can't make myself go in there. It's one of those things where if I had a support system in place to help me, I could probably get over it, but since there's no such system, I can't face it alone, and I am so overwhelmed by it all. I managed to hold off on calling to cancel that appointment yesterday, but I don't think I can make it there. I just can't do it alone, and that's all I am right now.
Despite all the good reasons to avoid the hospital, it's starting to look pretty good to me. Considering how many really good reasons I have for not wanting to go there, it's looking as if it might be the best thing.
On the other hand, I really and truly do not want to go through all the hell of adverse reactions to medications alone, and that's what would happen when I got out anyway. Not to mention all the problems trying to get decent therapy in the present system.
If there's no help available to me, I really wish they'd stop telling me that there is and that it's just me refusing to respond appropriately. I wish they'd be honest and tell me that they can't help me and they wish me luck.
poster:Racer
thread:336919
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040213/msgs/337179.html