Posted by Heidi on November 10, 1999, at 20:14:32
In reply to Re: Long-Term Dysthymia -- Please Help, posted by Bob on November 10, 1999, at 15:42:53
No offense taken, Bob. I am acutely aware of how ridiculous it sounds to have suffered so long and yet still be hopeful of a quick fix. After so many years agonizing over whether to try medication at all, I feel like I should somehow get cosmic 'credit for time served' now that I've taken the step.The problem for me with medication has been that I have relatively good spells with some regularity, and when it takes weeks or months to see results from medication, it becomes difficult to decide whether to attribute the differences I experience differences to the meds or my normal ups and downs. My tendency is to WANT the improvements NOT to be drug-related (the "I can do this on my own syndrome"), and so I go off, thinking that things will be better on their own.
The biggest frustration, though is the inability to "just do it" when I'm not on meds. If I had the motivation to do the things that I know would be helpful to me, I wouldn't be where I am.
There are days (weeks, months...) when I feel like there is a force-field around whatever it is that I should be doing, and I can't bring myself to even touch it, let alone get started. Once I can crack through that barrier, I always marvel at how much energy I have spent avoiding the task, as compared to the amount of energy it takes to simply do what needs to be done, but no matter how many times I remind myself of the fact, I still repeat the cycle over and over.
Thank you for the mild verbal "kick in the pants" about dealing with the guilt of going back to the psychiatrist. I know it's what I need to do.
poster:Heidi
thread:14899
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991108/msgs/14975.html