Posted by Craig on April 6, 1999, at 4:06:02
In reply to Re: Anxiety vs Dissociation, posted by Elaine on April 5, 1999, at 21:00:00
Elaine, it is more than just isolated instances of floating out of my body while driving. I basically live in a trance state, "parts" included. I'm missing a lot of years of memories since childhood. However, I have structured my life now in a way that is much less stressful than it was when I was working full-time while going to college. I think those were the years when things were most out of control. Yet, I also think that chronic major depression could account for some of my memory problems. (You know how people post-ECT complain that ECT destroyed their memory? I think their depression caused more damage than people realize. But, I've never had ECT.)After several years without a doctor, I started seeing one for my depression around 1976-77. After awhile, he began telling me that I was dissociating (duh!), even though I never brought it up. I had my reasons why I didn't want him to know. The turning point came in March 1980, the day John Hinkley shot President Reagan. Apparently, I spent that night watching the assassination attempt over and over on TV. I went to work the next morning and, as I was later told, all I did was stare at my desk and repeatedly say, "No one should die on the street in the rain." Since I worked in a hospital, it didn't take long before I was transferred to the Crisis Center and admitted to the psych unit. I was so shattered that the doctors decided they would conduct a series of amytal interviews to find out what was going on. With a mega-dose of IV amytal coursing through me, I was in no position to fight them and they now possessed the keys that opened Pandora's box. They had no doubts about diagnosing me with MPD. I still feel like they stole this information from me; I didn't voluntarily give it to those doctors. I'm still angry that they put me in a room with a one-way mirror so that I'd be viewed as part of Grand Rounds. A room (and later an auditorium) packed with complete strangers learned more about my life than I knew. I'm a very private person and that still bothers me. Since I worked in another hospital, I didn't know whether I'd run into these people at some point and they'd be thinking, "Hey, that's the guy with multiple personalities."
For my reasons against hypnosis, I suggest you read the June 1998 online edition of Chicago Magazine at
http://www.chicagomag.com/chicagomag/text/table.htm and read the article titled Dangerous Therapy by
Cynthia Hanson beginning at http://www.chicagomag.com/chicagomag/text/features/therapy/0698a.htm
Pat's history and treatment bears little resemblance to mine, but this article gives an overview of how hers went tragically wrong. I know her because she and I were hospitalized at the same time and we still correspond via e-mail. (I had no idea about the "cult" aspect at the time I first met her and I'm thankful that I didn't know then or I really think I would have freaked out.) For an update on what's happening to Dr. Braun, I found info at http://www.reall.org/newsletter/v06/n10/bennett-braun.html that describes what the State of Illinois is trying to do in May 1999 regarding his medical license.
poster:Craig
thread:4377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990401/msgs/4451.html