Posted by jj on November 3, 1998, at 17:38:45
In reply to Re: depression and GAD, posted by Judy Johnson on November 3, 1998, at 16:37:37
> > People with panic disorder do not tend to hurt themselves or act out on others, so what else is going on? What's happening when you hurt yourself? What causes you to act out at work? You have had the panic since you were 4 years old, but no agoraphobia until the head injuries? Is that also when the acting out and self harm began?
> I have been suicidal since I was four--laying down on train tracks,etc. I was depressed of and on until 1980 when I had the head injuries and began the panic attacks.
> I acted out at work by being non-compliant, withdrawn, argumentative, social isolating myself, talking obsessively about how others were not my friend, and constantly reminding them that I had no friends, and I accussed a teacher of forcing me to do something, etc.
> I acted out on the first day of school when I found out my schedule and felt hopeless, that no one would listen to me, etc. I banged my head and dove under the desk when a teacher saw me. I don't think that was a panic attack. I had stopped physically injuring myself in 1991 after bio-feed back. My counselor said I regressed.
> I have had panic attacks since 1980, so badly that I cannot leave the house (like now). I cannot go to church unless my friend is there (I have other friends but she is the only one that will get me there.) I don't want to go anywhere, but I am making myself do things and re-phrasing the thoughts, but when it comes to returning to my job, my heart beats fast, legs are jello, palms sweat (like now). These attacks have been on and off about my job since 1995, but I have just made myself work. Right now, I couldn't go back. I've been off work for 3 wks.
> Thank you for your interest. I want to go back to work.
> jjI got suspended from work for telling on myself for doing something wrong. My counselor told me that I was asking for help and that I did not want to go to that job.?
help? jj
poster:jj
thread:1021
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19981101/msgs/1043.html