![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by your#1fan on February 24, 2008, at 0:54:09
PlEASE READ ALL OF THIS! ITS INTRESTING! AND I NEED YALL'S HELP!
Its just been on my thoughts so much i have to tell you guys, because im thinking now, "opps", need my big brother. See in the past, i was usally messed up, and my brother always seemed help out. And i grew up, and thought i was an adult, and i was the boss. But really at this time....i need yall's advice. Its like i broke off, and i wanted to make my own life....but it won't start up, you know like a car that won't start? its like im trying to make things work. I have made my insane, omg what have i done? why did i choose not to speak to him for a while?
Listen, we didnt speak for a while and the reasons because of ego conflicts, and one incident that happened. Today he is the the successful person that i wanted to be.... and you know i said to myself. Im going to be a success out of myself and beat him! but why does everything have to be a contest?! why am i the one behind? im behind in alot of things!
He treated me like, like a really good big brother should treat, even at the time i thought i needed to have a a say so, but he be like "fan" (not my real name) shut up, get my keys let go see a movie. I had fun, i went everywhere with him, because at the time i didnt have any friends!
You see, my brother shows i think tough love. He's an american dream. And things, like when i see him, im like "how am i going to get my own place first?" Im trying to keep up, get in collage! and catch up!
See i think i developed a life of my own, which i should of done when i was 13, but now im freaking sad that time has passed, he has his own house (big) and a famimly, and alot of people to talk to. The very thing i wanted.
Well actaully my dream is really to get somewhere in the US. Have my own place, i dont care how hard to get there, maybe a loft, married, but you know, he'll pop up in mind, and drive me crazy, because my brother was a childhood memory. But i gotta go after my own dreams! but i cant forget about my family. If i do that, im considered really a rebel.
I just have these cluttering feelings, should i just keep on presuing my own dream. But i cant forget about my brother.....its just a nightmare. He's always the boss. I want to be the boss..... i've never had that feeling and i want it bad!
But you have to understand, i miss my brother much. Even that i go through life alot, and try to forget about it. It just cannot be forgotten.
I need yall's help, tell what, what should say to him.
I'll tell you also what he did to me when i was a kid.
1)Threw flour while i was in the shower, and it turned to glue....oh god it was awful
2)hid my precious little stuffed animals, and still today they are not to be found..?
3)There is something called a "chicken greese bomb" which he chuncked on my car, it was a plastic big cup of kitchen greese, OH GOD IT GOT IN THE MOTOR, THE AIR CON, caused misquetoes to infect my car!
what else did this man do.....
4)pasted eggs on my head
5)would get in the car and blast up the heat when i was stuck in a hot coat.
6)played pranks on the phone that he like some secret agent...oh! the school principle!
7)i would BEG him to watch some scary movies, and he rented the scariest movie, even today i still cant over....the Excoist. SCARY!
8)Tell me there was a boggie man around town, and hey "fan" go run get me a pack of cokes... it was like 12 am in the morning... ran so fast i was back in like 5min!
9)"Hey fan" are you going to eat all that ice cream i bought you? yes you are..... omg i never had as much ice cream in my entire life. Then threw it all up!
10)tell me scary things where there, then drop me off in the woods. Then picked me 3 min later after i heard some animals.
11)if you want to make friends.....put toy soldiers on your head....
12)force my to tell the truth by staring me down...i always broke.much more stories.....but all this was actually that look back....i miss it.
What should i do? how should i not make myself a stanger?
HELP!
YOUR#1FAN
Posted by your#1fan on February 24, 2008, at 1:10:28
In reply to I can't Live without my big brother!, posted by your#1fan on February 24, 2008, at 0:54:09
sorry i cant spell it right.
Listen, babblers help me! i have got to get my own life, but my brother has his own, successful life, nice house, nice car, and i need to catch up with him, and just like all my friends too that are in collage. But there a age diffrence....a big diffrence.
At least i know right now what to do. I miss all those memories.... even "chicken greese bomb" those where good memories for me, even for a younger brother.
What should i tell my brother, what could i do?
asking you please tell me.
fan
Posted by R. -T. V. 52y on February 24, 2008, at 4:09:23
In reply to I can't Live without my big brother!, posted by your#1fan on February 24, 2008, at 0:54:09
well, i once was a big brother... and i wasn´t always behaving kindly...
but: that happened in the past, i can't change the past happenings,
the only thing i can do is try to take care of myself...
so that my little sisters and brothers wouldn't have to worry about me...
and exactly the same thing is the one i would like them to do...
to take care of themselves...
so that i wouldn't have to worry about them,
because i'll always love them... as their big brother
so good morning from EU whoever you are,
pls take care
R.
Posted by R. -T. V. 52y on February 24, 2008, at 4:11:31
In reply to Re: NOSTGIA, posted by your#1fan on February 24, 2008, at 1:10:28
dear friend,
i just wrote a message, it's also for You,
please take care.
R.
Posted by Phillipa on February 24, 2008, at 13:31:35
In reply to Re: NOSTGIA, posted by R. -T. V. 52y on February 24, 2008, at 4:11:31
Fan why not print and give to e-mail or post you just wrote. Maybe he would understand. Love Phillipa
Posted by your#1fan on February 24, 2008, at 14:18:13
In reply to Re: I can't Live without my big brother!, posted by R. -T. V. 52y on February 24, 2008, at 4:09:23
Well, i sort have gotten my life back in to his. But he's gotta his own family now, and...........ha! its going to be hard. And i admit, for a longtime i thought i do everything "on my own". It didnt go that way....im actually in my early 20's, and.......i wont disclose his age but he's a decade ahead of me.
He's really a good person, i just think he's bossy. I cant say no, im the boss! i'll be put in place in a second. And you know he really is kinda a boss to me. But i want to be a boss too. So you see the ego conflicts..... he's a decade ahead of me, and im ready to hit the throttle button and catch up with life and where im suppost to be in collage.
I want to be a part of his family...but its 2008!
Im just so confused if "I" want to go my own way, but if have this rebellious addittude, that thats not a good sign. Many successful people, well get out on their own. I dont know if i should stay He's got children now, and i should be an good uncle.
Right now i have to wait....gotta find out what i want to do with my life.
I really inside have always wanted to work for a brokage firm, like Merrill Lycnch, but alot of thoese people are really smart, driven, are the "bosses" of their own. Going to be hard.
But yea
Posted by rskontos on February 24, 2008, at 14:19:20
In reply to I can't Live without my big brother!, posted by your#1fan on February 24, 2008, at 0:54:09
Fan, I am the big sister. So I will try and help with this the best I can.
First you don' have to catch up. It is not a contest. It is about love. The love between two siblings. If he did things, he was just a big brother doing dumb boy stuff to his little brother that I am almost certain he still loves.
My sister and I have not spoken for 14 years until Friday a week ago when I picked up the phone and called her. It was not easy and things are rough. Maybe we can move forward maybe we can't. I am trying I think she is. That is all I can do. Try
That is what you can do. But not from a place of trying to be the same or better than him. but from your heart that you want your brother in your life because you love and miss him. He probably values you more than the house, car etc. Those things are not important to him as much as people. I hope. That is how I feel.
All you can do, like I did, is reach out. Not knowing how you will be received it doesn't matter. What matter is doing what is in your heart.
You will reach a better place one. Fan, you can get the education accomplished one day, just keep moving forward, you can finish college, you can have all the things you want one day. Take each one day at a time. Live in the moment.
I feel, in reading your posts here, and on other boards you get yourself too worked up about the future. You have made a new life for yourself. You are doing some thing about your future. I think you just to relax a bit more and not stress yourself out so much. Life itself is stressful without being so hard on yourself. You are young, it takes time, and all the things you want are possible.
It is great you want him back in your life. Just tell him this. It is not too late. After 14 years, it wasn't too late for me, I think, at least I still have hope. So you should too. Besides, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Start small in your daily life, trying to smooth it out. And when you feel so stressed like you do in the various posts, go sit by yourself and breath slowly for like 2 or 3 minutes, focus on nothing and see if you can't center yourself again. Then go back and see if you can't find your keys or whatever had you so mixed up or out of sorts. It will help you if you spend just a few minutes each day just centering your mind on emptying it of all the baggage. A time to be, maybe outside if the weather is nice.
I think you have a lot to offer the world. So, slow down, take some deep breaths, and go tell your brother, I care and I want us to be brothers again..
Let us know how it goes. You will be alright. ok
rsk
Posted by MissK on February 24, 2008, at 17:32:36
In reply to I can't Live without my big brother!, posted by your#1fan on February 24, 2008, at 0:54:09
>First you don' have to catch up. It is not a contest. It is about love. The love between two siblings. If he did things, he was just a big brother doing dumb boy stuff to his little brother that I am almost certain he still loves.
I agree with Rsk, #1fan. You got his number? Call him up and tell him you've been thinking of him and miss him and ask him if you can get together. It is about love, and family. The (re)connection may be a very good influence in your life and help you along your path.
Posted by Kath on February 24, 2008, at 19:25:05
In reply to Re: I can't Live without my big brother! » your#1fan, posted by MissK on February 24, 2008, at 17:32:36
Sounds like some good advice #1fan.
Are you still going to your therapist? This is the type of thing you could talk with her about, I bet.
I send you supportive thoughts,
hugs, Kath
Posted by your#1fan on February 24, 2008, at 22:58:10
In reply to Re: I can't Live without my big brother! » your#1fan, posted by rskontos on February 24, 2008, at 14:19:20
Hey hey,
its good here back from you. Yes i know that in alot of my posts im so urgently worrying myself to GET a future! AND FAST! before i get left behind! AH!
My brother is an american dream, he's gotta a nice a car. American house....GOD i wish, i had this. A family with love, and sometimes i just get to the point where, im the little brother even though im in 20's. Things always will be like that, even until where like 90 years, i'll still be thinking the same thing. A get to the point, "i gotta do something, i've been surpassed!" no!
My brother would definetly take a phone call from me, he is usally at work, but he'll sometimes take time to talk. But it wasnt like it was 10 years ago, 10 years ago we where BEST friends, and bro's. Today its like where strangers.
And its really about something stupid, and ego conflicts, but really i just want my brother back. But i must get a life first, then have a brother. Until then, im on a journey...then we'll be best brothers again one day i hope.
Wish us luck.
your#1fan
Posted by MissK on February 25, 2008, at 6:25:40
In reply to Re: I can't Live without my big brother! - rsk, posted by your#1fan on February 24, 2008, at 22:58:10
>But i must get a life first, then have a brother.
I'm sorry you feel that way. Just want to point out that you already have a brother, not 'then have a brother'. It could be years before you get whatever life you think you must get first. I say don't wait. Even if you don't think you do, you have a life this very moment and you have a brother this very moment. I hope you will change your mind and get together soon.
Good luck.
Posted by your#1fan on February 28, 2008, at 23:07:41
In reply to Re: I can't Live without my big brother! - rsk » your#1fan, posted by MissK on February 25, 2008, at 6:25:40
I miss my big brother very much, his advice, but times change. I have to be the boss of my life. Its painful, to see all the childhood memories i shared, and there just forgotten.
Like again, my brother is living an american dream. I dont know what to do with this, its more like a competition than brotherhood. Brotherhood..........i wished i saw my brother much more often. I miss him.
But i cant sit and think about it, times must go on.
fan
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.