Posted by your#1fan on February 24, 2008, at 0:54:09
PlEASE READ ALL OF THIS! ITS INTRESTING! AND I NEED YALL'S HELP!
Its just been on my thoughts so much i have to tell you guys, because im thinking now, "opps", need my big brother. See in the past, i was usally messed up, and my brother always seemed help out. And i grew up, and thought i was an adult, and i was the boss. But really at this time....i need yall's advice. Its like i broke off, and i wanted to make my own life....but it won't start up, you know like a car that won't start? its like im trying to make things work. I have made my insane, omg what have i done? why did i choose not to speak to him for a while?
Listen, we didnt speak for a while and the reasons because of ego conflicts, and one incident that happened. Today he is the the successful person that i wanted to be.... and you know i said to myself. Im going to be a success out of myself and beat him! but why does everything have to be a contest?! why am i the one behind? im behind in alot of things!
He treated me like, like a really good big brother should treat, even at the time i thought i needed to have a a say so, but he be like "fan" (not my real name) shut up, get my keys let go see a movie. I had fun, i went everywhere with him, because at the time i didnt have any friends!
You see, my brother shows i think tough love. He's an american dream. And things, like when i see him, im like "how am i going to get my own place first?" Im trying to keep up, get in collage! and catch up!
See i think i developed a life of my own, which i should of done when i was 13, but now im freaking sad that time has passed, he has his own house (big) and a famimly, and alot of people to talk to. The very thing i wanted.
Well actaully my dream is really to get somewhere in the US. Have my own place, i dont care how hard to get there, maybe a loft, married, but you know, he'll pop up in mind, and drive me crazy, because my brother was a childhood memory. But i gotta go after my own dreams! but i cant forget about my family. If i do that, im considered really a rebel.
I just have these cluttering feelings, should i just keep on presuing my own dream. But i cant forget about my brother.....its just a nightmare. He's always the boss. I want to be the boss..... i've never had that feeling and i want it bad!
But you have to understand, i miss my brother much. Even that i go through life alot, and try to forget about it. It just cannot be forgotten.
I need yall's help, tell what, what should say to him.
I'll tell you also what he did to me when i was a kid.
1)Threw flour while i was in the shower, and it turned to glue....oh god it was awful
2)hid my precious little stuffed animals, and still today they are not to be found..?
3)There is something called a "chicken greese bomb" which he chuncked on my car, it was a plastic big cup of kitchen greese, OH GOD IT GOT IN THE MOTOR, THE AIR CON, caused misquetoes to infect my car!
what else did this man do.....
4)pasted eggs on my head
5)would get in the car and blast up the heat when i was stuck in a hot coat.
6)played pranks on the phone that he like some secret agent...oh! the school principle!
7)i would BEG him to watch some scary movies, and he rented the scariest movie, even today i still cant over....the Excoist. SCARY!
8)Tell me there was a boggie man around town, and hey "fan" go run get me a pack of cokes... it was like 12 am in the morning... ran so fast i was back in like 5min!
9)"Hey fan" are you going to eat all that ice cream i bought you? yes you are..... omg i never had as much ice cream in my entire life. Then threw it all up!
10)tell me scary things where there, then drop me off in the woods. Then picked me 3 min later after i heard some animals.
11)if you want to make friends.....put toy soldiers on your head....
12)force my to tell the truth by staring me down...i always broke.much more stories.....but all this was actually that look back....i miss it.
What should i do? how should i not make myself a stanger?
HELP!
YOUR#1FAN
poster:your#1fan
thread:814364
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080215/msgs/814364.html