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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 0:34:40
Hi people
I'm too afraid to face the real world. Even if I get my B.Sc., I will still go nowhere in life. I don't know how to be normal in the real world, or even here. I have the face the facts. I just won't make it in this world.
I think maybe I should just spare myself the stress of trying. If I do not study, my situation will become more and more urgent, then my hamster will die. Then exams will hit and I will probably end things then. I have to wait until I'm totally distraught. In the meantime, I still have some life to enjoy. This also saves me from making others uncomfortable by going to the Babble Party next year. You guys can remember me here and I will be happy.
Deneb
Posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 0:46:26
In reply to I think I need to die *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 0:34:40
Sorry people, I wasn't trying to be dramatic or anything. A big hug wave of sadness and hopelessness just hit me.
Is it really really horrible to want to be like sar?
Deneb
Posted by NikkiT2 on September 18, 2005, at 5:12:41
In reply to Re: I think I need to die *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 0:46:26
>Is it really really horrible to want to be like sar?
Deneb,
NOW is the time to start trying to learn from some previous lessons.
I think you know that that comment is slightly inappropriate.
As for the rest...
You're young. Sorry if that sounds patronising, but its very true, and you have NO IDEA what the future holds. You're not getting any psychological intervention at the moment, and you do very seriously need that. I know your pdoc is away on maternity leave, but you need to insist on seeing someone else.
If you want to babble mail me and tell me your Uni, I am happy to find out exactly what you need to do to get this help.
You cannot contonue without this help and support. I know tomorrow you will come here and tell us that you're all OK now and dont need any help, but I think there are now very very clear patterns of behaviour that need help and support.
You can live a good, noble and worthwhile life with BPD (if noting else, look at me. Google my posts from 3 years ago and see what states I have got myself into).. I won't lie and say its easy, because its not, but do you want to prove the statistics right or do you want to show those b*ggers that they're wrong?? I personally want to prove stats wrong, show them that just because you have BPD, does not mean you should be written off.
I'm serious in my offer of help.. Please take me up on it
Nikki xx
Posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 11:49:55
In reply to Re: I think I need to die *trigger*, posted by NikkiT2 on September 18, 2005, at 5:12:41
> NOW is the time to start trying to learn from some previous lessons.
I'm sorry, it is confusing to me what is inappropriate sometimes. Is there a sort of test I can do to determine whether or not something is inappropriate?
> I know your pdoc is away on maternity leave, but you need to insist on seeing someone else.
I've recently tried to get help.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/554413.html
I have an appointment with my p-doc's replacement on Tues.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/555849.html
I'm not optimistic. Talking with my p-doc for about 3 years barely did anything for me. I think I need to see someone more frequently, but as you read above, the counselling centre won't see me.
> I know tomorrow you will come here and tell us that you're all OK now and dont need any help, but I think there are now very very clear patterns of behaviour that need help and support.
I'm still not OK, but at least I'm not crying my eyes out now.
Thank-you for your offer of help. I'm already trying to get help. Maybe you can help me by telling me what to say to my p-doc on Tues?
Deneb
Posted by NikkiT2 on September 18, 2005, at 12:40:51
In reply to Re: I think I need to die *trigger* » NikkiT2, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 11:49:55
There are other avenues than the counselling centre..
First, you really need to insist that you want, and need, a psychological therapy, and you're right, you need it regularly.
Remember that most pdocs (not *all*, but most) aren't trained therapists.. they're there for the technical side of things, so you need someone else too.. And not just a counsellor, you need a clinical psychologist.What I have always found easiest is to write everyting down that you want to say. Don't leave it till the last minute but start it now. If you find it hard to get the message across, simply hand over the bit of paper with it all on.. That way noting will be forgotten.
One easy way to work this out would be to go back through your posts here. You could even print some out as examples, to save having to go though it again.
most of all though, you have to be totally honest with the pdoc. Don't let them make you feel you should underplay everything.. tell them about your *worst* times and how dangerous they feel to you..
I'll be sending lots of positives vibes your way for tuesday..
Nikki x
Posted by justyourlaugh on September 19, 2005, at 18:08:27
In reply to Re: I think I need to die *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 0:46:26
..
shut up!
Posted by TamaraJ on September 19, 2005, at 18:51:51
In reply to Re: I think I need to die *trigger* » Deneb, posted by justyourlaugh on September 19, 2005, at 18:08:27
If the posts upset you, be kind to yourself and don't read them. I've always enjoyed your posts, and I don't want to see you get blocked because you are frustrated with the content of another's posts.
> ..
> shut up!
Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2005, at 19:09:15
In reply to That was uncalled for. PBC » justyourlaugh, posted by TamaraJ on September 19, 2005, at 18:51:51
Posted by Declan on September 22, 2005, at 2:54:48
In reply to I think I need to die *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 0:34:40
Life is hugely scary. Or it ought to be.
We think the sun shines on us because we deserve it.
At any moment the ground can open up under our feet. There's no reason to be optimistic.
I deal with this by reading history.
Or maybe reading history makes me feel like this.
Declan
Posted by slinky on September 25, 2005, at 9:24:21
In reply to Re: I think I need to die *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 0:46:26
>
> Is it really really horrible to want to be like sar?You're nothing like Sar..please leave sweet Sar in peace.
See a therapist?
Or any ist?
Posted by Declan on September 25, 2005, at 21:17:57
In reply to Re: I think I need to die *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 0:46:26
Posted by gardenergirl on September 25, 2005, at 21:44:54
In reply to Who (or what) is sar? (nm), posted by Declan on September 25, 2005, at 21:17:57
She was a much loved poster here. I never knew her, but you can get to know her a bit from this:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/psycho-babble-tips/links/Memorials_001025155886/Sar_001025155922/gg
Posted by kid47 on September 26, 2005, at 11:14:35
In reply to Who (or what) is sar? (nm), posted by Declan on September 25, 2005, at 21:17:57
Sar is an angel*********
peace
kid
Posted by Declan on September 26, 2005, at 16:19:37
In reply to Memorial folder (likely trigger) » Declan, posted by gardenergirl on September 25, 2005, at 21:44:54
I don't think feelings of extreme melancholy are unusual or innappropriate. Difficult, yes. We (mostly) have the illusion of permanence ie a lot of things happen too slowly for us to grasp what's going on until its too late and we can see the pattern. It's a life's work to learn to live with ourselves and to handle conciousness. I'd like to be more coherant.
Declan
This is the end of the thread.
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