![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 27. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Shy_Girl on April 28, 2005, at 23:34:22
Hmmm...I'm just wondering, is it normal to not be bothered by stories about suicide? (both real and fictional)
Is it normal to crave information about suicide and think that it is romantic?
Is it normal to laugh when I see someone posting something about a method that is obviously non-lethal?
Is it normal to experience a "high" when reading info about methods? I love it so much. :-)
Hmmm...now you people probably think I'm evil or something. Is this appropriate to post?
Is it normal to LIKE being depressed? I find I actually MISS being depressed/having dark thoughts when I'm happy. I love being suicidal!
:-P (I'm not at the moment) Am I just really really wierd???Shy_Girl (maybe should change to Goth_Girl LOL!)
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 29, 2005, at 3:17:36
In reply to Desensitized to suicide?, posted by Shy_Girl on April 28, 2005, at 23:34:22
> Hmmm...I'm just wondering, is it normal to not be bothered by stories about suicide? (both real and fictional)
Is it normal to crave information about suicide and think that it is romantic?It's hard to say what's *normal* I'm sure if most people's inner worlds were exposed, much of it would seem strange to others. I would say I think it's nieve to think of it as romantic.
>
>
> Is it normal to laugh when I see someone posting something about a method that is obviously non-lethal?I don't know if it's normal or not, but I've done it.
>
> Is it normal to experience a "high" when reading info about methods? I love it so much.I don't think it's healthy, I'll say that.
>
> Hmmm...now you people probably think I'm evil or something. Is this appropriate to post?That all depends on your reason for posting, if you sincerely want feed back I don't think it's innapropriate. I personally could have done without without the smileys, it is a topic which has affected many of us, it would be appreciated if you treated it with the seriousness it warrants.
> Is it normal to LIKE being depressed? I find I actually MISS being depressed/having dark thoughts when I'm happy. I love being suicidal!Depression is the absence of pleasure, if you enjoy being "depressed" then you are not. It is also possible to have suicidal fantasies without being clinically depressed.
Source
" The Noonday Demon"
Andrew Solomon
> :-P (I'm not at the moment) Am I just really really wierd???everybody's weird.
Posted by PM80 on April 29, 2005, at 8:11:55
In reply to Desensitized to suicide?, posted by Shy_Girl on April 28, 2005, at 23:34:22
You are not evil, and I would guess that you are not alone in your fascination with suicide. Of course, you can post this. This site is designed so that you can post these kinds of things. Your smileys tell me that you are trying to keep things light, make a joke of sorts, about a very serious issue for you. I have read that in therapy, the patient will often joke about and make light about the very thing that is most serious and hurts the most (no, i'm no doc, just a patient who has done her homework).
To recap your words: when you are not depressed, you are fascinated by suicide and want to feel depressed. Could it be that what you really want is attention and validation? Do people take you more seriously when you talk about killing yourself? It feels really nice when people pay attention and care about us. Everyone searches for ways to be heard. OR maybe when you feel good, you do not think that you deserve it. Do you think that feeling good invalidates the times when you felt legitimately bad? - Times, maybe, when it was normal and healthy to feel sad? Could your fascination with suicide be connected with a desire to be allowed to feel a range of emotions? OR could suicide-lover maybe be an identity of sorts for you? Something like, you are the "messed" up girl who loves suicide, when peers talk about you? Again, this would garnish a lot of sympathy for you. Sympathy feels nice.
Maybe it is some combo of these ideas or maybe it is something else all together, but suicide is a scapegoat for you. It is a distraction from a real issue, a real pain, in your life. You're human and do not need to be ashamed of your feelings or what you post here or what you say elsewhere, butI would recommend getting help immediately. One day, you might feel so low and act on this fascination. Suicide is a horribly permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 29, 2005, at 13:30:42
In reply to Re: Desensitized to suicide? » Shy_Girl, posted by PM80 on April 29, 2005, at 8:11:55
> You are not evil, and I would guess that you are not alone in your fascination with suicide. Of course, you can post this. This site is designed so that you can post these kinds of things.
Not necessarily, other folks have been reprimanded by Dr. Bob for detailing their fascination with suicide, it must be done very carefully.
Your smileys tell me that you are trying to keep things light, make a joke of sorts, about a very serious issue for you. I have read that in therapy, the patient will often joke about and make light about the very thing that is most serious and hurts the most (no, i'm no doc, just a patient who has done her homework).I took the question Shy Girl posed at face value, that she was worried about becoming desensitized. Therefore it wasn't an issue to me that she might be trying to make light of, or make a joke of, something that hurt or was scary.
Regardless, this is a public board, and for many of us who have been affected by suicide seeing a smiley after a sentence like "I just love thinking about suicide" can feel as mocked as if those affected by other violence, read, "I just love thinking about murder" (smile)The questions are far more likely to be well recieved without them.
Posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 13:42:12
In reply to Re: Desensitized to suicide? » Shy_Girl, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 29, 2005, at 3:17:36
> It's hard to say what's *normal* I'm sure if most people's inner worlds were exposed, much of it would seem strange to others. I would say I think it's nieve to think of it as romantic.
I'm don't think suicide is romantic all the time. I don't crave info about suicide all the time either. When I have a lot of hope, I don't even consider it an option.I'm sorry about all the smileys, sometimes it is difficult for me to see another person's point of view.
Shy Girl
Posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 13:54:50
In reply to Re: Desensitized to suicide? » Shy_Girl, posted by PM80 on April 29, 2005, at 8:11:55
>Could it be that what you really want is attention and validation? Do people take you more seriously when you talk about killing yourself? It feels really nice when people pay attention and care about us.
I never tell anyone about my fantasies...only my pdoc, she's the only one who will not over-react. I think I fantasize because it is much easier than coping with life.
> ...maybe when you feel good, you do not think that you deserve it.
I love being happy and having hope, I have a lot of confidence then. I think I deserve to be happy.
>Could your fascination with suicide be connected with a desire to be allowed to feel a range of emotions?
Hmmm...interesting idea, I'm not sure.
> OR could suicide-lover maybe be an identity of sorts for you? Something like, you are the "messed" up girl who loves suicide, when peers talk about you? Again, this would garnish a lot of sympathy for you. Sympathy feels nice.
I don't have any friends, so there are no peers. I don't tell anyone except my pdoc...so it's not for sympathy. I don't deserve sympathy. I think it is more a sacriface thing...I'm taking up much needed resources and I would be more good in death than in life.
> Maybe it is some combo of these ideas or maybe it is something else all together, but suicide is a scapegoat for you. It is a distraction from a real issue, a real pain, in your life.
Yes, it is a distraction...from living life. I hope that if I use it to avoid life enough, my life will become unliveable, then it will be easy to complete my fantasy.
> You're human and do not need to be ashamed of your feelings or what you post here or what you say elsewhere, butI would recommend getting help immediately. One day, you might feel so low and act on this fascination. Suicide is a horribly permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I am getting help already. I want to push things to the edge so I will feel so bad that I can act. Isn't a permanent solution better than a temporary solution?
Shy Girl
Posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 14:03:31
In reply to Re: Desensitized to suicide? » PM80, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 29, 2005, at 13:30:42
> Not necessarily, other folks have been reprimanded by Dr. Bob for detailing their fascination with suicide, it must be done very carefully.
Good, push me to the edge. Being blocked a second time might just be the thing. I'm evil, I'm disruptive to the community. I will be sacrificed for the greater good.
> Regardless, this is a public board, and for many of us who have been affected by suicide seeing a smiley after a sentence like "I just love thinking about suicide" can feel as mocked as if those affected by other violence, read, "I just love thinking about murder" (smile)
I don't want to be well received...I want to feel bad. Make me feel bad. I need to overcome my survival instincts.
sg
Posted by alesta on April 29, 2005, at 14:49:05
In reply to Desensitized to suicide?, posted by Shy_Girl on April 28, 2005, at 23:34:22
hello SG,:)
<I don't want to be well received...I want to feel bad. Make me feel bad. I need to overcome my survival instincts.
sure you do..we all want to be well-received...nobody hates you for writing this stuff. (i appreciate gabbi's sensitivity, though.) you're reaching out. you're not evil. and, girl, we have seen disruptive to the community around here, and it takes a lot more than this!:) and i really like you as a person. i'm guessing you're not feeling too good about yourself right now. a lot of us here feel that way. you are absolutely not alone. what can we do to help? maybe you could ask yourself, "what would help me feel better about myself?" Connecting with others more might help. you are valuable, equally as valuable as all of us here.
take care,
amy
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 29, 2005, at 15:14:08
In reply to Re: Desensitized to suicide? » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 13:42:12
> > It's hard to say what's *normal* I'm sure if most people's inner worlds were exposed, much of it would seem strange to others. I would say I think it's nieve to think of it as romantic.
>
> I'm don't think suicide is romantic all the time. I don't crave info about suicide all the time either. When I have a lot of hope, I don't even consider it an option.
>
> I'm sorry about all the smileys, sometimes it is difficult for me to see another person's point of view.Yeah it's just you who has a hard time with that :) (I kid)
I point these things out because I too could (can? It takes practice, if that's your goal) have a hard time seeing others viewpoints. I always appreciate those who made the effort to open my eyes to different ways of thinking. I consider it a true kindness, even though it may not feel very warm and fuzzy at the time.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 29, 2005, at 15:15:39
In reply to Re: Desensitized to suicide? » Shy_Girl, posted by alesta on April 29, 2005, at 14:49:05
Posted by PM80 on April 29, 2005, at 15:33:46
In reply to Re: Desensitized to suicide? » PM80, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 29, 2005, at 13:30:42
Posted by alesta on April 29, 2005, at 16:01:45
In reply to sorry - didn't mean to offend (nm), posted by PM80 on April 29, 2005, at 15:33:46
hey PM80, who'd you offend, hon? i have no idea if that message is directed to me or not..but, i thought your response was wonderful.:) i only mentioned gabbi's sensitivity and not yours b/c i wanted her to know that i understood and appreciated what her intentions were in defending ppl affected by suicide, as her comment represented another dichotomy of the subject separate from the one i was discussing..sh$*, now i'm confused...:-)
if your comment wasn't directed to me (i never know sometimes, lol) please kindly disregard.
nice to meet you, btw, pm.:) i thought you did a great job. (and you, too, gabbi..man i keep putting you in parentheses! hehe :-))
amy ;)
Posted by alesta on April 29, 2005, at 16:03:37
In reply to Thanks Babe! (nm) » alesta, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 29, 2005, at 15:15:39
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 29, 2005, at 17:06:29
In reply to sorry - didn't mean to offend (nm), posted by PM80 on April 29, 2005, at 15:33:46
You didn't offend me either PM80, I just wanted to add another aspect to the subject, for the future. I'm not usually nitpicky (or at least I like to think I'm not :) The happy faces stood out to me though, I wanted to explain why, so Shy girl could have the opportunity to consider it, or tell me to take a flying leap : )
G
P.S
I like your writing.
Posted by TofuEmmy on April 29, 2005, at 17:45:24
In reply to Desensitized to suicide?, posted by Shy_Girl on April 28, 2005, at 23:34:22
How lucky you've been in your life to think that suicide is romantic. To me, that is like saying tht serial murder is romantic.
Hey folks!! Don't fret, your loved one was romantic!!
Let me clue you in to the REALITY of sucide. There is not a romantic moment involved. I've lost loved ones to suicide. I've spent 100's of hours with other "survivors" of suicide - we who are left over after the death. Let me assure you that my mom did NOT NOT NOT look romantic after her death. Nope, not at all.
Sure, as a Babbler you have the right to say what ever you want about suicide, but it ain't goin unnoticed by those of us who DREAD Mother's day every year. Hallmark commercials make me literally vomit.
emmy
Posted by rainbowbrite on April 29, 2005, at 17:57:12
In reply to Desensitized to suicide?....Huh? Romantic ???? » Shy_Girl, posted by TofuEmmy on April 29, 2005, at 17:45:24
but I am so so sorry
(((emmy)))
Its the worst kind of death to deal with and this thread was beginning to stir up emotions.
Posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 18:01:32
In reply to Desensitized to suicide?....Huh? Romantic ???? » Shy_Girl, posted by TofuEmmy on April 29, 2005, at 17:45:24
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was impulsive when I posted...I really regret it now. I'm really stupid.
I was starting to feel better because some of the post made me think a bit more and I kind of snapped out of it, now I'm sad again.
I'm really sorry. I really sorry for hurting you. I deserve to die for being so insensitive. I'm really really really sorry. I will die if it will bring your loved ones back. I will die for others if it will make you feel better. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I deserve to be tortured.
Posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 18:13:29
In reply to Desensitized to suicide?, posted by Shy_Girl on April 28, 2005, at 23:34:22
I'm sorry for bringing this topic here. I don't belong here. I belong at ASH, where people are waiting to catch the bus. No one likes me here. I don't belong anywhere except with other hopeless people. I'm beyond help...I am fundamentally flawed because I grew up wrong. I'm an outcast in society...may as well be in purgatory.
Posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 18:25:18
In reply to Desensitized to suicide?, posted by Shy_Girl on April 28, 2005, at 23:34:22
I'm sorry, before I get blocked again, can someone please hug me? I need to be hugged. I need love, please, hug me, comfort me. I'm so sad, please hug me if you don't hate me.
Posted by alesta on April 29, 2005, at 18:26:22
In reply to Re: Desensitized to suicide?, posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 18:13:29
> I'm sorry for bringing this topic here. I don't belong here. I belong at ASH, where people are waiting to catch the bus. No one likes me here. I don't belong anywhere except with other hopeless people. I'm beyond help...I am fundamentally flawed because I grew up wrong. I'm an outcast in society...may as well be in purgatory.
shygirl, i'm sending you a babblemail, kay?
amy
Posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 18:31:33
In reply to Re: I'm sorry.., posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 18:25:18
Somethings wrong with me. I can't stop crying and my hands are tingling...am I dying?
Posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 20:10:39
In reply to Re: I'm sorry.., posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 18:31:33
I'm ok. I was hyperventilating because of the uncontrolled sobbing.
I'm calm now. Sorry for the outburst.
Posted by Dinah on April 29, 2005, at 20:15:12
In reply to Re: I'm sorry.., posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 20:10:39
It's scary to have those physical sensations. Remember to concentrate on your breathing when you're experiencing them. Have you done any CBT therapy for anxiety attacks? It's got a very good track record. I always used to start panicking at the panic, but now with some judicious use of anti-anxiety medications and my CBT training, I can usually handle it.
Posted by Phillipa on April 29, 2005, at 22:02:22
In reply to Re: I'm sorry.. » Shy_Girl, posted by Dinah on April 29, 2005, at 20:15:12
Shy Girl, Feel my presence. I'm hugging you really tight. Please get some help. If your pdoc is your only friend then call her and tell her again how desperate you feel. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by 10derHeart on April 29, 2005, at 23:26:57
In reply to Re: I'm sorry.., posted by Shy_Girl on April 29, 2005, at 18:25:18
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.