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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by snoozin on April 9, 2005, at 16:20:35
So! Hello to all who might remember me..I haven't been here in a while.
I've been dating a really nice guy who's supportive, nonjudgmental, compassionate, and just plain fun. Not a surprise, but my mood has been a lot better lately. Of course this makes me glad that I can get to a *happy* spot.
But on the other hand, I'm not supposed to be dependent on another human being for happiness.
So is it false happiness? Happiness on shaky foundation? I mean, if the guy disappears, I'll be sliding back into he** again. I don't think of myself as a person who *needs* someone, but over the past few years, dealing with depression, loneliness has been absolutely debilitating.
Am I worrying for nothing?
Posted by Susan47 on April 9, 2005, at 18:41:10
In reply to A Good Guy in My Life.....But?, posted by snoozin on April 9, 2005, at 16:20:35
What were you like just before you met this guy? If you were happy and satisfied then and you are now, then you know you're not dependent on him for that, you have a good solid foundation. That's why it's probably not good to start a relationship when you're feeling down, but I don't think that means that it wouldn't work if that is what happened. If you have no plans to break up and things are going well, why are you letting yourself think this way? It's self-defeating..Stop! Please please please, I want you to be happy, we all do, right guys?
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 9, 2005, at 19:02:29
In reply to A Good Guy in My Life.....But?, posted by snoozin on April 9, 2005, at 16:20:35
> So! Hello to all who might remember me..I haven't been here in a while.
>
Hello Snoozin! I'm still thinking on this one.
Not that it will make much difference if I think long and hard or not.. :(
Posted by emme on April 10, 2005, at 10:05:32
In reply to A Good Guy in My Life.....But?, posted by snoozin on April 9, 2005, at 16:20:35
Hi Susan. I have not looked on social in ages. I pop in and there you are. Glad to hear you're having a nice time w/ this guy. Maybe I'm oversimplifying the issue, but I think of it this way: when stress worsens our mood disorders, it makes perfect sense and we accept it as understandable. The boyfriend adds an "anti-stress" component to your life and it makes sense that it helps you. Smile and enjoy. :)
em
Posted by octopusprime on April 11, 2005, at 0:06:52
In reply to A Good Guy in My Life.....But?, posted by snoozin on April 9, 2005, at 16:20:35
snoozin, i dunno. i'm in the same boat as you. see my post on the relationships boat for details :p
here's my thinking on this:
in one sense, i've done a heck of a lot of work to be in a place where i can be happy. (in my particular case, i changed my medications, exercise regime, diet, job, country, apartment, and car, in addition to the whole guy thing)
so it may be that the guy is making me happy. or maybe it is everything else. and maybe the guy wouldn't be attracted to me if it weren't for everything else. so maybe it's the effort that i made (in advance of getting the guy) that's really making me happy, and the guy is the *just desserts* (if you will)
it's terrible in a sense, i'm having terrible anti-feminist thoughts of being barefoot and pregnant and cooking him a meal and being happy doing it. bleck. you work as a lawyer, i work in the tech industry, we're black sheep in male-dominated fields, we're almost conditioned to reject the traditional female stereotype of a maaa-yan making us happy. but it does. we're human. we like to be touched and loved. and there is nothing the feminist movement can do to deny it.
anyway, i don't know if my ramble is enlightening or not. but i think it's the work that we did to heal that made us attractive to others. and i think we are both reaping the rewards. it's not the man, it's you. the man is the reward.
yours in mental health
cheers
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 11, 2005, at 17:36:55
In reply to Re: A Good Guy in My Life.....But?, posted by octopusprime on April 11, 2005, at 0:06:52
Posted by Dinah on April 12, 2005, at 0:37:11
In reply to Re: A Good Guy in My Life.....But?, posted by octopusprime on April 11, 2005, at 0:06:52
I suppose I'll have to go to Relationships to see?
This is the end of the thread.
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