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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Surely on February 1, 2005, at 23:13:28
I just committed an unforgivable sin. I've been feeling so good the past week or so, and then I saw my doctor yesterday, and discovered that I've lost another 13 pounds, and that my health is getting better, and then tonight my little 5 year old granddaughter cut a 3 inch chunk off the bottom of her hair. She has been with me for a week, and it's very tiring to care for her, but my son went ballistic when I called him and told him what happened. He told me that he has been working on her hair for 5 years. Her hair is a light silky blonde, and curly, and reaches the bottom of her butt. But not any more. That made me crash so hard that there isn't enough left to burn. And my Xanax isn't helping. Would someone please tell me that in 40 or 50 years this won't matter?
Posted by Angielala on February 1, 2005, at 23:58:14
In reply to Feeling Horrible!!!, posted by Surely on February 1, 2005, at 23:13:28
Surely,
I know to your son it might seem like the end of the world, but it's so far from it.
This is a random story...
When I was 5 I cut my own bangs- right up to my forehead. My God Mother (my mother's sister) was babysitting me. Now my godmother is Bipolar and often gets caught up in other things when she depressed- which she was then... I know this because when I did it she started bawling her eyes out saying "She's going to kill me" I ended up telling my mom that my invisible friend "Freeda" did it. I remember the shock in my godmother's eyes... and the relief. I told my mom a few years ago about that and you know what my mom said, "Oh my God, how did you know I would have been mad at her".. then I explained that even then my mother didn't give my godmother a break. Things have changed today and my mom is my aunts main support... but I guess what I'm trying to say is: All little girls do it... especially when their parents make such a big deal about their hair. Also- my mother would have instantly gotten mad at my aunt for it, and if it wasn't for my little white lie, she would have also blown up.You should be happy about your health improving and (I'm hoping that you are trying to lose weight with your docs support) losing weight.
It's not going to matter in 40 years, it's not going to matter in 1 year.... in fact your son needs to chill out with this obsession with this hair. Beautiful hair is nice, but a child cutting it herself is normal... and a fun story to tell when you are older. It's not your fault. Your son needs to put less importance on his daughter's hair and start patting his mom on the back for the good work she's doing with her health.
Try to relax... get used to the idea that it was a mistake and in the grand scheme- hair is a minor issue- especially for such a little girl!
Let me know how you are doing.
~lala
(hope my story wasn't too boring or pointless :) )
> I just committed an unforgivable sin. I've been feeling so good the past week or so, and then I saw my doctor yesterday, and discovered that I've lost another 13 pounds, and that my health is getting better, and then tonight my little 5 year old granddaughter cut a 3 inch chunk off the bottom of her hair. She has been with me for a week, and it's very tiring to care for her, but my son went ballistic when I called him and told him what happened. He told me that he has been working on her hair for 5 years. Her hair is a light silky blonde, and curly, and reaches the bottom of her butt. But not any more. That made me crash so hard that there isn't enough left to burn. And my Xanax isn't helping. Would someone please tell me that in 40 or 50 years this won't matter?
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 2:27:22
In reply to Feeling Horrible!!!, posted by Surely on February 1, 2005, at 23:13:28
Honey in a year or less it will not matter really :) HUGS
Posted by Surely on February 2, 2005, at 7:36:41
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!!-- no no no, posted by Angielala on February 1, 2005, at 23:58:14
Thank you for sharing your story, it did help, but my two kids, 1 girl, 1 boy, are very self involved, and could care less about me unless they need something. I think the reason my little granddaughter cut her hair is that yesterday morning she told me that she wanted to be just like me, so I asked her why and she told me, "Because you're fun." My doctor is also a fan of my stories, but she isn't helping me lose weight. Last spring I weighed 243 pounds, so I got my fat behind on a bike and started riding, I lost 35 pounds by the end of the summer, but now I've found that i'm still losing. Don't know how that can happen, but I'm happy about it. Now if I can just get back to some sort of status quo with my son, I'll be OK.
> Surely,
>
> I know to your son it might seem like the end of the world, but it's so far from it.
>
> This is a random story...
> When I was 5 I cut my own bangs- right up to my forehead. My God Mother (my mother's sister) was babysitting me. Now my godmother is Bipolar and often gets caught up in other things when she depressed- which she was then... I know this because when I did it she started bawling her eyes out saying "She's going to kill me" I ended up telling my mom that my invisible friend "Freeda" did it. I remember the shock in my godmother's eyes... and the relief. I told my mom a few years ago about that and you know what my mom said, "Oh my God, how did you know I would have been mad at her".. then I explained that even then my mother didn't give my godmother a break. Things have changed today and my mom is my aunts main support... but I guess what I'm trying to say is: All little girls do it... especially when their parents make such a big deal about their hair. Also- my mother would have instantly gotten mad at my aunt for it, and if it wasn't for my little white lie, she would have also blown up.
>
> You should be happy about your health improving and (I'm hoping that you are trying to lose weight with your docs support) losing weight.
>
> It's not going to matter in 40 years, it's not going to matter in 1 year.... in fact your son needs to chill out with this obsession with this hair. Beautiful hair is nice, but a child cutting it herself is normal... and a fun story to tell when you are older. It's not your fault. Your son needs to put less importance on his daughter's hair and start patting his mom on the back for the good work she's doing with her health.
>
> Try to relax... get used to the idea that it was a mistake and in the grand scheme- hair is a minor issue- especially for such a little girl!
>
> Let me know how you are doing.
>
> ~lala
>
> (hope my story wasn't too boring or pointless :) )
Posted by Surely on February 2, 2005, at 7:39:07
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!! » Surely, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 2:27:22
Thank you for the kind words.
> Honey in a year or less it will not matter really :) HUGS
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 2, 2005, at 12:49:01
In reply to Feeling Horrible!!!, posted by Surely on February 1, 2005, at 23:13:28
Oh Surely thats not fair! They will recover in less than forty yeasrs for sure, prolly less than 6mths. And this is coming from soemone who has 'hair issues' I am easily overwrought by my hair not being cut or colored properly. So im almost positive this will be laughed about in time! Don't let it get you down, maybe just get it cut to even it out, if thats ok with son.
:-)
Posted by Angielala on February 2, 2005, at 12:55:54
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!!-- no no no, posted by Surely on February 2, 2005, at 7:36:41
Surely- your weight loss is awesome! Great job!
I bet your granddaughter will say something to her dad about it not being a big deal to her... he isn't going to say anythign to you, but he'll let it go at some point soon.
Geesh- what's he going to do when she starts piercing herself, dying her hair purple and dates a boy name "Weed"?
She wants to be like you- that's adorable!
> Thank you for sharing your story, it did help, but my two kids, 1 girl, 1 boy, are very self involved, and could care less about me unless they need something. I think the reason my little granddaughter cut her hair is that yesterday morning she told me that she wanted to be just like me, so I asked her why and she told me, "Because you're fun." My doctor is also a fan of my stories, but she isn't helping me lose weight. Last spring I weighed 243 pounds, so I got my fat behind on a bike and started riding, I lost 35 pounds by the end of the summer, but now I've found that i'm still losing. Don't know how that can happen, but I'm happy about it. Now if I can just get back to some sort of status quo with my son, I'll be OK.
>
> > Surely,
> >
> > I know to your son it might seem like the end of the world, but it's so far from it.
> >
> > This is a random story...
> > When I was 5 I cut my own bangs- right up to my forehead. My God Mother (my mother's sister) was babysitting me. Now my godmother is Bipolar and often gets caught up in other things when she depressed- which she was then... I know this because when I did it she started bawling her eyes out saying "She's going to kill me" I ended up telling my mom that my invisible friend "Freeda" did it. I remember the shock in my godmother's eyes... and the relief. I told my mom a few years ago about that and you know what my mom said, "Oh my God, how did you know I would have been mad at her".. then I explained that even then my mother didn't give my godmother a break. Things have changed today and my mom is my aunts main support... but I guess what I'm trying to say is: All little girls do it... especially when their parents make such a big deal about their hair. Also- my mother would have instantly gotten mad at my aunt for it, and if it wasn't for my little white lie, she would have also blown up.
> >
> > You should be happy about your health improving and (I'm hoping that you are trying to lose weight with your docs support) losing weight.
> >
> > It's not going to matter in 40 years, it's not going to matter in 1 year.... in fact your son needs to chill out with this obsession with this hair. Beautiful hair is nice, but a child cutting it herself is normal... and a fun story to tell when you are older. It's not your fault. Your son needs to put less importance on his daughter's hair and start patting his mom on the back for the good work she's doing with her health.
> >
> > Try to relax... get used to the idea that it was a mistake and in the grand scheme- hair is a minor issue- especially for such a little girl!
> >
> > Let me know how you are doing.
> >
> > ~lala
> >
> > (hope my story wasn't too boring or pointless :) )
>
>
Posted by sunny10 on February 2, 2005, at 13:27:04
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!!-- no no no, posted by Angielala on February 2, 2005, at 12:55:54
good Lord, all that over a little hair???
Tell' em to braid it for a while- it'll grow back!
It always does!
Posted by Susan47 on February 3, 2005, at 3:56:50
In reply to Feeling Horrible!!!, posted by Surely on February 1, 2005, at 23:13:28
I feel for you .. your son's reaction sounds a bit violent and out of place ... I wonder what life is like for your granddaughter, with a man like that ... and he's your son, how sad for you because it sounds like he doesn't treat you any better than he treats her. Your granddaughter is lucky to have you, don't beat yourself up. She's going to need your influence in the next few years, I suspect. She said you were "fun" .. that says everything .. she cut her hair because she wants to be more like you ... there again, everything.
Posted by Surely on February 3, 2005, at 9:21:03
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!! » Surely, posted by rainbowbrite on February 2, 2005, at 12:49:01
Well, yesterday they took her to the hairdresser, and got her hair cut, but my son has a long memory. He's still talking to me though, so I guess that's a good thing.
> Oh Surely thats not fair! They will recover in less than forty yeasrs for sure, prolly less than 6mths. And this is coming from soemone who has 'hair issues' I am easily overwrought by my hair not being cut or colored properly. So im almost positive this will be laughed about in time! Don't let it get you down, maybe just get it cut to even it out, if thats ok with son.
> :-)
Posted by Surely on February 3, 2005, at 9:35:49
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!!-- no no no, posted by Angielala on February 2, 2005, at 12:55:54
About my weight loss. After I had the renal cell cancer, and had my kidney removed, I got anxiety and depression, that so stunk, but I thought I could make those feelings go away with food. Then when I realized what I was doing to myself, I flipped and went in the other direction. I figured that no one poked that food down my throat, so it is my resposibility to lose the weight, and I still have the anxiety and depression. Go figure.
About my granddaughter. There will never be a time when my granddaughter gets excessive piercings, and weird hair dyings, and dating guys named Weed. That doesn't happen in our family. LOL. See, we have this theory that it's about teaching a child the proper values, and such, and so far it's worked with my other grandchildren. I guess it must be luck.
> Surely- your weight loss is awesome! Great job!
>
> I bet your granddaughter will say something to her dad about it not being a big deal to her... he isn't going to say anythign to you, but he'll let it go at some point soon.
>
> Geesh- what's he going to do when she starts piercing herself, dying her hair purple and dates a boy name "Weed"?
>
> She wants to be like you- that's adorable!
Posted by Surely on February 3, 2005, at 9:39:26
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!!-- no no no, posted by sunny10 on February 2, 2005, at 13:27:04
I know, you'd think she was Samson, or something. We always keep it braided, otherwise there are just too many tangles to brush out each morning.
> good Lord, all that over a little hair???
>
> Tell' em to braid it for a while- it'll grow back!
>
> It always does!
Posted by Angielala on February 3, 2005, at 9:44:49
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!! » rainbowbrite, posted by Surely on February 3, 2005, at 9:21:03
Tell him to chill out before he gives himself gray hair... maybe that will work?
I bet she still looks adorable
> Well, yesterday they took her to the hairdresser, and got her hair cut, but my son has a long memory. He's still talking to me though, so I guess that's a good thing.
>
> > Oh Surely thats not fair! They will recover in less than forty yeasrs for sure, prolly less than 6mths. And this is coming from soemone who has 'hair issues' I am easily overwrought by my hair not being cut or colored properly. So im almost positive this will be laughed about in time! Don't let it get you down, maybe just get it cut to even it out, if thats ok with son.
> > :-)
>
>
Posted by Angielala on February 3, 2005, at 9:49:06
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!!-- no no no » Angielala, posted by Surely on February 3, 2005, at 9:35:49
Rebelling isn't a bad thing... and I grew up in the most loving and conservative house. I sang in choir in church and volunteered in nursing homes and at soup kitchens.... and I was the first to rebel in my family... and my mom thanks me for it now, because I made her so much less anal. I mean it took years and year and purple and green and blue hair. But now, here I am, so normal (welll... normal as in not a total wacko)
Not to say your granddaughter will, jsut saying that rebelling is natural, and can be healthy in good families. Weird to say.. and to think about now. Wow... I must have given my mother heart attacks...
> About my weight loss. After I had the renal cell cancer, and had my kidney removed, I got anxiety and depression, that so stunk, but I thought I could make those feelings go away with food. Then when I realized what I was doing to myself, I flipped and went in the other direction. I figured that no one poked that food down my throat, so it is my resposibility to lose the weight, and I still have the anxiety and depression. Go figure.
>
> About my granddaughter. There will never be a time when my granddaughter gets excessive piercings, and weird hair dyings, and dating guys named Weed. That doesn't happen in our family. LOL. See, we have this theory that it's about teaching a child the proper values, and such, and so far it's worked with my other grandchildren. I guess it must be luck.
>
> > Surely- your weight loss is awesome! Great job!
> >
> > I bet your granddaughter will say something to her dad about it not being a big deal to her... he isn't going to say anythign to you, but he'll let it go at some point soon.
> >
> > Geesh- what's he going to do when she starts piercing herself, dying her hair purple and dates a boy name "Weed"?
> >
> > She wants to be like you- that's adorable!
>
>
Posted by Surely on February 3, 2005, at 9:52:51
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!! » Surely, posted by Susan47 on February 3, 2005, at 3:56:50
Maybe I misstated. My son thinks the sun shines out her little behind. He adores her; there isn't anything he wouldn't do for her, but he's got this thing about her hair. The problem is that he and her mother are seperated, and her mother doesn't really want her. It's terrible for my graddaughter, but lucky for us. Now he's marrying another girl, and he works 10 to 12 hours a day, so she doesn't have any real comfort zone except with me. He only scolded her, but he thinks I'm too stupid to live because I left the scissors where she could get to them, and I guess he's right. I cannot believe I did that!!!
> I feel for you .. your son's reaction sounds a bit violent and out of place ... I wonder what life is like for your granddaughter, with a man like that ... and he's your son, how sad for you because it sounds like he doesn't treat you any better than he treats her. Your granddaughter is lucky to have you, don't beat yourself up. She's going to need your influence in the next few years, I suspect. She said you were "fun" .. that says everything .. she cut her hair because she wants to be more like you ... there again, everything.
Posted by Surely on February 3, 2005, at 10:08:22
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!!, posted by Angielala on February 3, 2005, at 9:44:49
That's funny. He shaves his head. He has a problem with a head full of curly hair.
The problem is that she is an exceptionally beautiful child. I know that everyone thinks their kid is the cutest; I guess that's what keeps us from killing the little buggers, but she looks very much like Jon Bonne (Not sure of the spelling). We can't go anywhere without someone telling us how beautiful she is, but you are right, my son needs to chill.
She knows that she's beautiful, and so I keep telling her not to get all narcissistic, because that will diminish her beauty. She giggles, but she knows what I mean.
> Tell him to chill out before he gives himself gray hair... maybe that will work?
>
> I bet she still looks adorable
Posted by Angielala on February 3, 2005, at 10:19:29
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!! » Angielala, posted by Surely on February 3, 2005, at 10:08:22
And she's smart to boot!
> That's funny. He shaves his head. He has a problem with a head full of curly hair.
>
> The problem is that she is an exceptionally beautiful child. I know that everyone thinks their kid is the cutest; I guess that's what keeps us from killing the little buggers, but she looks very much like Jon Bonne (Not sure of the spelling). We can't go anywhere without someone telling us how beautiful she is, but you are right, my son needs to chill.
>
> She knows that she's beautiful, and so I keep telling her not to get all narcissistic, because that will diminish her beauty. She giggles, but she knows what I mean.
>
> > Tell him to chill out before he gives himself gray hair... maybe that will work?
> >
> > I bet she still looks adorable
>
>
Posted by Surely on February 3, 2005, at 10:22:21
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!!-- no no no, posted by Angielala on February 3, 2005, at 9:49:06
As I said, that doesn't happen in our family. At least it hasn't yet. I guess they inherited too many of my genes. My oldest grandson, who is 17, thinks that rebelian is choosing to study time variants instead of geometric structures. For some reason, they all know exactly where they are going and how to get there, and they've been that way from a very early age. Maybe that's weird, too.
> Rebelling isn't a bad thing... and I grew up in the most loving and conservative house. I sang in choir in church and volunteered in nursing homes and at soup kitchens.... and I was the first to rebel in my family... and my mom thanks me for it now, because I made her so much less anal. I mean it took years and year and purple and green and blue hair. But now, here I am, so normal (welll... normal as in not a total wacko)
>
> Not to say your granddaughter will, jsut saying that rebelling is natural, and can be healthy in good families. Weird to say.. and to think about now. Wow... I must have given my mother heart attacks...
Posted by Surely on February 3, 2005, at 10:32:51
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!!, posted by Angielala on February 3, 2005, at 10:19:29
Probably too smart. I think that's a curse in my family. I just hope she gets to enjoy her childhood, and not hide in books as I did. She's already reading chapter books, so I can see it coming. I guess that's why I play with her so much. I just want her to have fun.
> And she's smart to boot!
Posted by sunny10 on February 3, 2005, at 12:12:33
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!!, posted by Surely on February 3, 2005, at 10:32:51
my son was put into the gifted "Challenge" program in school at an early age. The first challenge they gave him was all about socialization! He's smart as a whip, but clueless about how to get along with others...
I believe in the fun, too. Every child needs to have some- it is part of the life stages we go through to grow up as well-rounded people, isn't it?!?
And stop beating yourself up about WHERE she got the scissors. First of all, if son knows that you are not really yourself these days, he should have "child-proofed" FOR you before dropping his child off. Secondly, a kid as smart as that will find them if she's looking, no matter WHERE you hide them...
Posted by Surely on February 4, 2005, at 8:52:15
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!!, posted by sunny10 on February 3, 2005, at 12:12:33
Thanks for your support. I asked him, "Do I need to tape them to the ceiling?" My daughter told me that she never hides her scissors, and that she doesn't plan to.
My granddaughter is home schooled, because she is disruptive in class. The first thing she did in pre-school when it came time to finger paint was to tell the other children that if they mixed the colors together, they would get more colors, so the kids didn't want to make pictures, they wanted to make colors. That stunk. Then she didn't want to participate in the class; she said that she was bored and that she wanted to go read, and we don't have a gifted program here. I keep telling my son that she needs kids to play with, but he has other ideas.
Anyway, intelligence and knowledge is worthless if you're too neurotic to use it. Ask me. I know about that.
> my son was put into the gifted "Challenge" program in school at an early age. The first challenge they gave him was all about socialization! He's smart as a whip, but clueless about how to get along with others...
>
> I believe in the fun, too. Every child needs to have some- it is part of the life stages we go through to grow up as well-rounded people, isn't it?!?
>
> And stop beating yourself up about WHERE she got the scissors. First of all, if son knows that you are not really yourself these days, he should have "child-proofed" FOR you before dropping his child off. Secondly, a kid as smart as that will find them if she's looking, no matter WHERE you hide them...
Posted by sunny10 on February 4, 2005, at 9:47:52
In reply to Re: Feeling Horrible!!!, posted by Surely on February 4, 2005, at 8:52:15
you said
"Anyway, intelligence and knowledge is worthless if you're too neurotic to use it."That's exactly what my significat other says about me all the time!
(Can't they think of a better term? Boyfriend is ridiculous after 25, specially if I live with the man, use "lover" and I'm a slut, but SO is so generic it's almost an insult!)
This is the end of the thread.
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