![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 21 to 45 of 45. Go back in thread:
Posted by kara lynne on July 3, 2003, at 18:14:19
In reply to I think I'm broken up..., posted by Gabbix2 on July 3, 2003, at 17:23:00
Gab,
But you don't *know* yet. The problem is you have only your own mind to check the facts with--and I don't mean that to be insulting!Remember what he said, remember how long it's been. Remember anything he's given you that you can hawk.
I still get all the condolences for now.
Posted by kara lynne on July 3, 2003, at 18:18:56
In reply to Re: *I'm* still broken up... » kara lynne, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:49:57
Dinah,
Any kindness is still kindness. It all works! Thank you, and thank you for all your kindnesses to me.
Posted by Gabbix2 on July 3, 2003, at 20:02:45
In reply to Re: I think I'm broken up..., posted by kara lynne on July 3, 2003, at 18:14:19
Okay, you win, they're all yours for now.
And you're right, I still have stuff I can hawk :)Love to you
xo
Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 20:27:39
In reply to Re: I think I'm broken up...Kara Lynn, posted by Gabbix2 on July 3, 2003, at 20:02:45
lol you two. :))
What's up, Gabbi? Anything you care to discuss?
Posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 23:01:35
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship... » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:12:19
> No problem, Tabitha, as long as you don't hold what we might have said against us. :)
>I may be a silly woman but I'm not that silly. I'll take it in the spirit it was given-- as support for me. And I realize I just might have the teensiest tendency to exaggerate his flaws when I'm hurt.. so of course people are going to say 'what a jerk'.
Posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 23:02:51
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship..., posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 23:01:35
Posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 23:03:34
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship... » Tabitha, posted by Greg on July 3, 2003, at 14:44:47
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 10:00:08
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship... » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:12:19
> No problem, Tabitha, as long as you don't hold what we might have said against us. :)
>Yes! I've learned the hard way about this. I opined a bit too much when a friend told me some of the horribly inconsiderate things her husband did to her when she was pregnant with their first child. Well, when she decided to just deal with him jerkiness and all, she also stopped telling me anything. Well, maybe that is ok, but the friendship changed, too.
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 10:00:48
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship..., posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 14:20:02
Chalk it up to "Live and Learn"?
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 10:01:39
In reply to *I'm* still broken up..., posted by kara lynne on July 3, 2003, at 16:36:18
OK, I've transferred all my condolence balance from Tabby over to your account!!
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 10:02:56
In reply to I think I'm broken up..., posted by Gabbix2 on July 3, 2003, at 17:23:00
My goodness--it's epidemic! Sorry to hear this, Gabbi.
Posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 14:55:28
In reply to Re: I think I'm broken up... » Gabbix2, posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 10:02:56
Thanks Noa, and Dinah, I really do want to talk, I'm not doing s o well though, even tho, this may well be in my head, i'll probably ask you later,
if you have some time to spare.
Posted by Dinah on July 4, 2003, at 15:07:09
In reply to Re: I think I'm broken up...Dinah » noa, posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 14:55:28
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 17:39:50
In reply to Re: I think I'm broken up...Dinah » noa, posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 14:55:28
I'm around this evening, but then I'm off on a little itsy bitsy vacaton (just a few days).
Posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 20:00:15
In reply to Re: I think I'm broken up...Dinah » Gabbix2, posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 17:39:50
And thank you both..
The man I've been seeing, and am crazy over,
as he has been over me, is from the U.S, he's decided he wants to live with me in Canada, and
work here, so he left me, to work in the U.s for a while, to get some money together, get his visa etc, etc...
Now, he's very understanding that, I've not once,
not ONcE, had a promise kept of a significant sort, from a man, or otherwise,and that this would be really hard on me, Before he left
he gave me a diamond ring, and a t-shirt of his (that smells like him) for when things get rough.
You see I don't have a phone, and he has no computer, he promised to write letters, but so far I haven't heard from him.
It was my first real jewel, its funny I didn't even know it was a diamond!I was okay for a while, its been about 10 days, but I woke up with a jolt a few mornings ago, a jolt that usually means "somethings up"
And thats the problem. I'm usually right intuitively. So I'm trying to rationalize saying a man doesn't do those things, unless he's serious, but I also know that people break promises all the time, and do the strangest things after being so sincere, and not hearing from him and not being able to contact him
is making me sick.
Its getting to the point where I'm triggering myself into a depression
(summers a risky time for me anyway.)
I'm alone,
I'm not working, I'm trying to stay active and stuff, but this is just eating at me. And All I do is sit and shake with anxiety,I'm sorry this isn't written very clearly I'm just all over the place today.
Thanks for listening
Posted by shar on July 4, 2003, at 20:25:33
In reply to okay, here it is.., posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 20:00:15
Gabbi,
I had no idea this was going on! First and foremost, guys are notorious about losing track of time and/or thinking "I don't want to call or talk until everything is settled" that kind of thing (and forgive me, any guys who read this and are not like that. I admit it is a generalization.).Please give it more time, at least 2 weeks, then, can you call him? Collect? From a pay phone or a friend's phone?
Don't worry over much about your jolt. Sometimes they can be real but (a) about something else in your life, or (b) about a glitch that occurred that does NOT mean something terrible, just something happened.
Awww, I hate you have to endure this. Is there not enough pain in life already!!??
{[{[{[Gabbix}]}]}]Shar
Posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 20:36:12
In reply to Re: okay, here it is.. » Gabbix2, posted by shar on July 4, 2003, at 20:25:33
Thanks Shar,
For the reassurance about the wake up panic
(and especially for the queer little hugs!)
Unfortunately I can't call him, cause part of what he's doing is helping a friend who just bought a farm waaaaayyyy out in the boonies, put in a land line and stuff, and even cell phones don't really work out there (this I know is true, I checked that out)
He said he would buy us digital phones (What are they? don't answer that)
but I said don't bother cause he's not going to be gone that long.I try to tell myself that time is so relative, I know he's working 12-15 hour days, and I'm alone, basically waiting for word.. but I having people disappear is a history with me, and this is just hitting every nerve. On a bad day I start wondering if its even a real diamond.
Thanks so much. Shar.(({[[ shar]}]{)
Posted by Dinah on July 4, 2003, at 21:15:38
In reply to okay, here it is.., posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 20:00:15
I'm sorry Gabbi. I think that sort of situation would make anyone more than a bit anxious, even if you trust the other person completely. Especially if you have abandonment issues (as I do).
I think Shar is right. He may be doing that man sort of thing where loving means doing. Working as hard as he can to get back to you, without thinking as much about what the silence might mean to you.
At any rate, I hope you hear from him soon. And that this period of time is one the two of you can look back on years and years from now as part of your special romance story. You know, like in When Harry Met Sally? I love that part. One day I'll have to have my husband and I video our story. After I've lost fifty or so pounds.
Posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 21:36:45
In reply to Re: okay, here it is.., posted by Dinah on July 4, 2003, at 21:15:38
Thanks Dinah,
I sure hope so. When all you can do is wait and see, its crazy making (literally)
He even said maybe this is the test you need to see that I keep my word.
I mean he covered everything.. but when you're looking for a reason to be anxious, you'll find it.
Thanks for listening you guys.
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 21:39:59
In reply to Re: okay, here it is.., posted by Dinah on July 4, 2003, at 21:15:38
Oh my. The challenge of communicating with no phone or computer, etc. That adds a painful twist to the whole thing.
I agree it is too early to panic. Guys are notorious for having a completely different sense of time. Plus the communications challenges are real--kind of seems like the old days when people waited for the mail to arrive. Or a message in a bottle?
Sorry, I do not mean to make light of this. But it isn't like he can just pick up the phone and call you.
Wait. Breathe. Wait. Be patient. You can always panic later, right?
Posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 21:57:27
In reply to Re: okay, here it is.., posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 21:39:59
It is archaic isn't it?
Thank you Noa, Dinah, Shar, it was so nice just talking about it. I've never been alone so much in my life, and I remember when talking over things with girlfriends just put things in perspective, and thats what this did. I just may sleep tonight.. and panic later..
Posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2003, at 10:01:33
In reply to THANK YOU!!, posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 21:57:27
Can you send him a letter that says that you are paranoid and you would like him to humor you? Enclose a postcard with two check boxes. One says "I love you, stop worrying" and the other says "You are right to worry". If the postcard is addressed and stamped, he just has to check a box and leave it for the mail man.
Good luck!
Posted by Gabbix2 on July 5, 2003, at 11:37:45
In reply to Re: THANK YOU!! » Gabbix2, posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2003, at 10:01:33
Thats funny, that sounds exactly like something I would do to! I've sent emails like that.
The problem is it all comes down to waiting for the letter from him I didn't think to ask for the address of where he'd be working before he left?!! (Duh?) And I assumed I'd get a letter right away, (hence the paranaoia)
Well fortunately my birthday is fairly soon,
its the only time in recent history I've looked forward to a birthday, cause if he doesn't send something then, I'll know something is up for sure.
Thanks for thinking of me
Posted by Dinah on July 5, 2003, at 11:44:44
In reply to Re: THANK YOU!! » Gabbix2, posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2003, at 10:01:33
Posted by ROO on July 6, 2003, at 12:15:51
In reply to Re: THANK YOU!! » fallsfall, posted by Gabbix2 on July 5, 2003, at 11:37:45
Good to hear from you....I would like to catch up
sometime on email, if you're up for it. My email
is eckle002@mc.duke.edu
I hope everything works out with the man...I wanna hear
the whole darn story...how you met, etc.
In the meantime (I know this sounds SO trite...but it
s also SO true)...be kind to yourself.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.