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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 4 to 28 of 28. Go back in thread:
Posted by jodie on February 1, 2003, at 19:09:44
In reply to Re: Tension here!!!, posted by dreamerz on February 1, 2003, at 18:38:57
This all just makes this site undesirable. I've only been posting here for a few weeks, and I've had lots of encouragement and support. Just in the past day or so, things have really went to hell. I guess I may just take a break until things cool down. I have enough stress in my life, don't need this!!!
It doesn't help that I'm a really sensitive gal. Today has been a very depressing day for many reasons.
If I'm away for a while, sorry. Take care everyone.
Jodie
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2003, at 19:15:32
In reply to Think I'm taking a break, posted by jodie on February 1, 2003, at 19:09:44
I'm sorry for the tension I was a contributor to, Jodie. :(
Posted by Tabitha on February 1, 2003, at 19:25:43
In reply to Re: Tension here!!!, posted by dreamerz on February 1, 2003, at 18:38:57
Posted by dreamerz on February 1, 2003, at 19:33:16
In reply to Re: pick me! pick me! (nm) » dreamerz, posted by Tabitha on February 1, 2003, at 19:25:43
Where there is a secret thread that opens up to a room with a hot tub and get ready for me gentle magic hands.
Posted by dreamerz on February 1, 2003, at 19:36:32
In reply to Think I'm taking a break, posted by jodie on February 1, 2003, at 19:09:44
Jodie...
Sorry if my post offended..it's just my way ..I'm sorry if I'm a bit freaky..I'm harmless.
Posted by mikhail99 on February 1, 2003, at 21:16:37
In reply to Re: Tension here!!!, posted by dreamerz on February 1, 2003, at 18:38:57
> I say lets all make passionate love to eachother.
>
> The weather is cold so lets keep warm...Hmm who do I pick first?
I'm all hot and bothered from watching a steamy movie....
Posted by dreamerz on February 1, 2003, at 21:42:28
In reply to Dreamerz...ME FIRST!!!! » dreamerz, posted by mikhail99 on February 1, 2003, at 21:16:37
> I'm all hot and bothered from watching a steamy movie....Sauna Escapade ?__seen that one...
Anyway I'm with Taby in the bubble bath at the moment , she's making a lot of bubbles
Posted by jodie on February 1, 2003, at 23:52:01
In reply to Re: Sorry » jodie, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2003, at 19:15:32
> I'm sorry for the tension I was a contributor to, Jodie. :(
>
>*******************
No, it had nothing to do with you, I have just had a bad day. I should have just stayed away from the computer earlier. I'll stick around, maybe I don't need a break, well from some things I do, but not here!!!
Jodie
Posted by jodie on February 1, 2003, at 23:56:38
In reply to Re: Think I'm taking a break » jodie, posted by dreamerz on February 1, 2003, at 19:36:32
> Jodie...
> Sorry if my post offended..it's just my way ..I'm sorry if I'm a bit freaky..I'm harmless.
*******************************************************
Dreamerz,No it did not offend me!!!!! :-) I like your way!!!!
Posted by jodie on February 2, 2003, at 0:00:23
In reply to Re: Think I'm taking a break, posted by jodie on February 1, 2003, at 23:56:38
that last post was for dreamerz!!!
Posted by jodie on February 2, 2003, at 0:12:40
In reply to Re: Dreamerz, posted by jodie on February 2, 2003, at 0:00:23
I was first.. :-)~
Posted by Dinah on February 2, 2003, at 3:44:02
In reply to Re: Everyone is too late, I already went, posted by jodie on February 2, 2003, at 0:12:40
You're funny, Jodie. I'm really glad you're sticking around. :)
Dinah
Posted by bluedog on February 2, 2003, at 10:02:51
In reply to Tension here!!!, posted by jodie on February 1, 2003, at 16:03:59
> There is so much tension flying around here.
> Like I said b4, can't we all just get along?????Hello Jodie
I actually honestly think were all getting along really well at the moment. However people will be people so there will always be differences of opinion that can lead to some really good and interesting debate. The trick is to not let it get to you.
I learnt this from personal experience, I once let something get to me personally and it was horrible. But with time to put things into perspective you get to realise that it's never as bad as it seems at first...though it's goddam awful to feel like someone has just offended you but I'd say that in almost every instance so far on this board these differences sort themselves out.
> I know people are going to have opinions here, but I thought we were here to socialize, and be supportive. Maybe if some people would just watch what they say to begin with, it wouldn't lead to all of this.
Honestly Jodie, people will always say things that someone else may take offense at. It's part of being part of the human race....especially our rather sensitive subsection of the human race. It doesn't necessarily mean that we aren't just socialising or trying to support eachother.
I was given really good advice recently when I took personal exception to certain things said on this board and that is to simply avoid the seemingly red hot threads. Really, in relation to recent threads however, I don't think people were arguing at all ...just a bit of opinionated debate really. HOWEVER if you DO think people are arguing the best thing you can do is to resist the tempatation to jump in and either a) take sides or b) Try and be a peacemaker.
That's Bob's job. If things get out of hand Bob will take control of the situation. I really honestly to goodness believe that when there is a disagreement or an apparent disagreement between two posters that EVERYONE should then stay out of it (ie Butt out) and I can guarantee you that ninety nine times out of one hundred those two posters left to there own devices will then be able to sort things out between themselves. Everyone else jumping in usually only serves to inflame the situation or even worse split the board into three separate camps...the fors, the againsts and the neutrals.
If the posters REALLY can't work things out then it's up to Bob to put a stop to things to allow the individuals concerned to take a step back, take some time out and to put things into perspective for a while, perhaps by banning further posts on that particular topic for a period of time (say 2 weeks) rather than by blocking any one individual poster.Actually I've been meaning to suggest this to Bob for a while now but havn't really gotten around to it yet.
Bob if your interested in hearing any of my suggestions please let me know and I'll either email you or put up a post on the admin board for you to read my full suggestions!!!!
>
> So how is the weather????
>Now Jodie,that is a REALLY offensive question, It's supposed to be summer where I live but it was raining today [just kidding:) :)]
keep cool and keep neutral as you can as hard as this might seem at times....Just my opinion really
warm regards
bluedog
Posted by dreamerz on February 2, 2003, at 12:48:33
In reply to Re: Think I'm taking a break, posted by jodie on February 1, 2003, at 23:56:38
Jodie..Oh , think I'm being overly careful with the newbies..don't want to corrupt you : )
Posted by jodie on February 2, 2003, at 18:24:37
In reply to Re: Tension here? Naahh - no tension at all :) :) » jodie, posted by bluedog on February 2, 2003, at 10:02:51
Hello.
Thanks for all the advice!!!
I already figured, I would just pretty much keep my nose out of it. I have just been stressed lately. If I find something offensive, I think I will just have to ignore it from now on. In all honesty, I've laughed at a couple of "redneck" jokes myself in the past. I was usually drunk at the time though. :-)
The weather here is horrible (my opinion). Its been between 0 and 20 degrees for about a month now, with freezing rain and lots of snow. Brrrrr.....
Thanks again!!!Peace to everyone,
Jodie
Posted by jodie on February 2, 2003, at 18:28:13
In reply to bluedog, posted by jodie on February 2, 2003, at 18:24:37
Thank you!!! I'm happy to be sticking around! :-)
Jodie
Posted by bookgurl99 on February 3, 2003, at 22:19:03
In reply to Tension here!!!, posted by jodie on February 1, 2003, at 16:03:59
jodie,
sorry if you're feeling freaked out.
i think there's a few of us opinionated types here. there may be some people that push things too far, but in general i think it's neat that we can get so much learning and knowledge out of a small thing like a joke. i can see all kinds of perspectives, some of which i may not have been aware of before.
some of us like sharpening our intellect against those of others. but in general, even if i _disagree_ with someone on PB, i still like and respect them.
hope i haven't caused too much of a ruckus with my egghead insistence on getting to the bottom of things,
good luck, hope you get a nice rest, and peace,
bookgurl99
p.s. what's going on that has you stressed?
Posted by jodie on February 4, 2003, at 1:02:23
In reply to Re: Tension here!!!, posted by bookgurl99 on February 3, 2003, at 22:19:03
> jodie,
>
> sorry if you're feeling freaked out.
>
> i think there's a few of us opinionated types here. there may be some people that push things too far, but in general i think it's neat that we can get so much learning and knowledge out of a small thing like a joke. i can see all kinds of perspectives, some of which i may not have been aware of before.
>
> some of us like sharpening our intellect against those of others. but in general, even if i _disagree_ with someone on PB, i still like and respect them.
>
> hope i haven't caused too much of a ruckus with my egghead insistence on getting to the bottom of things,
>
> good luck, hope you get a nice rest, and peace,
>
> bookgurl99
>
> p.s. what's going on that has you stressed?*********************************************************
Really, I overreacted. I was just having a bad day.
Once I went into the hospital (about 3 yrs ago) for being suicidal, after being in the hospital for 3 days, they put me in partial hospitalization. It's where I had to go monday through friday 8am to 4 pm to group therapy. It was really interesting. Everyone in there had problems with depression, addictions, just about any psychiatric illness you can think of. We supported each other often, but there were debates too. The therapists would let us debate, they said it was good for us. We would sit in there and talk about our problems, cry on each others shoulders. But there were times someone said something that offended at least one person, then bam..chain reaction, everyone started debating. Some days I left there feeling like the group was leaving me more depressed than I was to begin with. Then there were days, I left and had a smile on my face and felt great. I did that for 6 weeks. That was my first time in group therapy. It helped me a lot, even with opinions and debates, and yes there were times I voiced my opinion rather strongly. As I'm sure will happen here sometime. :-)
I have been stressed out lately for many reasons. I have an 8 year old son, who does not live with me. He lives with his father (my ex). My ex is the custodial parent, but we have joint legal custody. I have my visitation rights, every other weekend, and one day a week for 4 hours. I talk to him on the phone often. My divorce was about 4 years ago, thats when we agreed on the custody. I was having major emotional problems from the divorce, severe depression, anxiety, and no will to live. My son had to see me like this everyday when my ex and I were separated before the divorce (about 6 months). My son lived with me during that time.
I love my son dearly, we have a great relationship. I regret everyday signing over custody. I will never forgive myself. Everytime I'm taking my son back to his fathers, he ends up crying. He tells me he wants to live with me. It breaks my heart. He is starting to ask questions like why he doesn't live with me. All I can tell him is that at the time mommy was sick, and his dad is able to provide a better environment for him.
My parents keep nagging at me to get an attorney and get custody back. (Thats a whole story in itself: my parents). Honestly I can't do that. I am mentally unstable, I have been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder, ADD, and I have Epilepsy. I am unemployed right now. I don't think I could take care of him the way he deserves. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't abuse him or anything, I just have so many problems right now from my illnesses. Not to mention, if I ever took my ex to court to fight for custody, it would never happen. I'm sure they would find me mentally unstable. I have enough medical records to prove that!!
I cry about this all the time, guilt, regret, I'll never ever forgive myself. I also live in fear that my son is going to grow up with resentment towards me. He has none right now, but his teen years are around the corner.
Well, sorry for talking...well...typing so much. like I've told others here, once I get started, I can't stop!!!
Thank you!!! Peace right back at you!!!! Thanks for listening!!!
Jodie
Posted by Dinah on February 4, 2003, at 6:01:21
In reply to Re: Here is why I'm stressed-bookgurl, posted by jodie on February 4, 2003, at 1:02:23
Jodie, I can't tell you how much I admire you. To do what you think is best for your son, feeling as sad about it as you do, is an absolutely wonderful thing. That's what being a good mother means, so you are being a terrific mother to your son.
I suppose it's possible that there may come a time when he is angry with you about that, but our kids are frequently angry when we do what's best for them.
As long as you keep explaining that you love him, want to spend as much time with him as you can, and that the custody decision had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with you and what you thought was best for him, what more can you really do?
But I understand that it hurts anyway. I have a son, too.
Posted by jodie on February 4, 2003, at 15:22:15
In reply to Re: Here is why I'm stressed » jodie, posted by Dinah on February 4, 2003, at 6:01:21
> Jodie, I can't tell you how much I admire you. To do what you think is best for your son, feeling as sad about it as you do, is an absolutely wonderful thing. That's what being a good mother means, so you are being a terrific mother to your son.
>
> I suppose it's possible that there may come a time when he is angry with you about that, but our kids are frequently angry when we do what's best for them.
>
> As long as you keep explaining that you love him, want to spend as much time with him as you can, and that the custody decision had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with you and what you thought was best for him, what more can you really do?
>
> But I understand that it hurts anyway. I have a son, too.***********************************************************
Dinah,
Thank you so much, your words mean a lot!!!! You just made me feel much better.
Another problem I have is when I meet someone, or start a new job, and mention my son, they start asking questions, assuming he lives with me. When I end up telling him that he lives with his dad, I get this funny look everytime. They will try and not act shocked, but I can see it on their face. I've even had a couple of people rudely say things like, " that doesn't make since, the judge usually rules in the moms favor, unless she is a criminal or something". Or " A child should always live with his/her mother".
Even if we had went to court to battle it over, and I was mentally stable, who says I would have been rewarded custodial parent. They now try and not base it on whether you're the mother or father, but things like who owns a home, financial situation, things like that.
During and after my divorce, I was living with my parents, he owned his home. He was making much much more money that I. I think they would have ruled in his favor anyway.
I will continue to let him know how much I love him, and explain things the best that I can. I get to see him tomorrow night, I'm excited, then this weekend is my weekend to have him. I always try to plan an exciting weekend. Him and I always go out to lunch on our Sundays together, by ourselves, and we sit there and talk. It's so nice, he loves doing that.
Thank you again, you are very supportive.
Jodie
Posted by Dinah on February 4, 2003, at 18:30:11
In reply to Re: Here is why I'm stressed, posted by jodie on February 4, 2003, at 15:22:15
I can't even believe people would be so rude as to say anything.
But don't worry what rude people say, you know the truth, and your son will know the truth. That's the important thing.
Your Sunday chats sound wonderful. That sort of thing means so much to a kid. And you're so lucky!! My son talks about any and every thing that isn't personal, but is a little clam about feelings or anything like that. Has been since a toddler. Getting an account of his day, or how he feels about something is a trial. If you ask him about food, and he says "It's okay." that means he dislikes it. "Which is your favorite teacher/class/classmate" gets a "They're all nice." I think he's afraid of hurting the feelings of green beans. But he'll tell you about the teensiest detail of a video game. :)
Posted by jodie on February 4, 2003, at 21:48:52
In reply to Re: Here is why I'm stressed » jodie, posted by Dinah on February 4, 2003, at 18:30:11
Yes, people can be pretty darn rude!!!!
Poor green beans, wouldn't want to hurt there feelings!!!
:-)My son is like that with video games too. When he's playing one, he loves for me to watch, and he just goes into incredible detail. Thats so funny.
My son has always been real clingy, ever since he was a newborn. He used to want to be held all the time. Now he loves back scratches, and hugs & kisses. He has always been real open about his feelings, he doesn't like green beans, and he lets me (or anyone else) know.
How old is your son, if you don't mind me asking?
Thank you again!!! You are great!!! :-)
Jodie
Posted by Dinah on February 5, 2003, at 8:00:49
In reply to Re: Here is why I'm stressed-Dinah, posted by jodie on February 4, 2003, at 21:48:52
My little sweetie is seven, and the gentlest, most thoughtful and sensitive little munchkin I've ever met.
Yours is eight? A terrific age. Still too young to be embarassed by displays of affection.
Posted by jodie on February 5, 2003, at 23:49:33
In reply to Re: Here is why I'm stressed » jodie, posted by Dinah on February 5, 2003, at 8:00:49
Your son sounds adorable!!!!
My son just turned 8 on Jan. 9th.
Yes, too young to be embarassed, I know there will come a time, he won't want me to hug him in front of his friends.
By the way, I got to see him today from 5-8 pm, I took him to get a haircut, and to McDonalds, we had fun.
Read my "dilated pupils" thread down below, am I going crazy?
Posted by jodie on February 5, 2003, at 23:52:21
In reply to Re: Here is why I'm stressed, posted by jodie on February 5, 2003, at 23:49:33
never mind, I see you already read it :-)
This is the end of the thread.
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