Posted by jodie on February 4, 2003, at 15:22:15
In reply to Re: Here is why I'm stressed » jodie, posted by Dinah on February 4, 2003, at 6:01:21
> Jodie, I can't tell you how much I admire you. To do what you think is best for your son, feeling as sad about it as you do, is an absolutely wonderful thing. That's what being a good mother means, so you are being a terrific mother to your son.
>
> I suppose it's possible that there may come a time when he is angry with you about that, but our kids are frequently angry when we do what's best for them.
>
> As long as you keep explaining that you love him, want to spend as much time with him as you can, and that the custody decision had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with you and what you thought was best for him, what more can you really do?
>
> But I understand that it hurts anyway. I have a son, too.***********************************************************
Dinah,
Thank you so much, your words mean a lot!!!! You just made me feel much better.
Another problem I have is when I meet someone, or start a new job, and mention my son, they start asking questions, assuming he lives with me. When I end up telling him that he lives with his dad, I get this funny look everytime. They will try and not act shocked, but I can see it on their face. I've even had a couple of people rudely say things like, " that doesn't make since, the judge usually rules in the moms favor, unless she is a criminal or something". Or " A child should always live with his/her mother".
Even if we had went to court to battle it over, and I was mentally stable, who says I would have been rewarded custodial parent. They now try and not base it on whether you're the mother or father, but things like who owns a home, financial situation, things like that.
During and after my divorce, I was living with my parents, he owned his home. He was making much much more money that I. I think they would have ruled in his favor anyway.
I will continue to let him know how much I love him, and explain things the best that I can. I get to see him tomorrow night, I'm excited, then this weekend is my weekend to have him. I always try to plan an exciting weekend. Him and I always go out to lunch on our Sundays together, by ourselves, and we sit there and talk. It's so nice, he loves doing that.
Thank you again, you are very supportive.
Jodie
poster:jodie
thread:36104
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030201/msgs/36349.html