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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Anemone on January 7, 2012, at 9:46:15
I hope it's OK to share something silly with everyone.
I made a "T fan club magazine", in which I wrote articles about how wonderfully ideal my T is, and how to be a perfect client.
The magazine included a quiz called, "Are you qualified to join the (my T) fan club?"
This quiz has questions such as "Are you almost never late to sessions", "Do you worship and appreciate (my T's name)?"The magazine has articles such as "Why we love (my T): client testimonials", in which fictional clients agree that my T is the best. I drew pictures for the clients' faces and put their names and ages.
Other acticles: "10 Secret things we wish we could do with our T". Clients say that they want to follow her home, marry her, buy her a yacht, etc.
Another article: "How to be a T Twin". Including how to dress like her, what hair style to get, and how to talk and act. In real life, I do actually cut my hair to look like hers, and try to dress like her somewhat.
The magazine also had advertisements to promote my T's office as the Perfect Happy Land, and a manners school where you go in as yourself and come out acting like my graceful T.
If you subscribe to my magazine, you get a free gift (a CD of my T's beautiful voice)
I jokingly told my T that I wanted to make copies of it to distribute to her other clients. My T looked at it briefly and seemed amused, then said she wanted to hold on to the magazine. She never gave it back...That was 2 years ago and I still miss it.
P S ** if anyone actually wants to join, please ask me for the fan club's email address, to get my quarterly newsletter.
Posted by Dinah on January 7, 2012, at 13:14:05
In reply to Ideal Client, Ideal Therapist (inspired by Dinah), posted by Anemone on January 7, 2012, at 9:46:15
I wonder why she never gave it back? Have you asked for it?
What do you think an ideal client is like? Don't you find yourself caught in a conundrum? That being an ideal client means being authentic? And being authentic is difficult when one is trying to be ideal?
I must confess that I don't admire my therapist to that degree. I got quite a giggle from his dark tie, dark shirt (a la Regis) phase. And no one was happier than I when he shaved his goatee. Shudder.
Posted by Anemone on January 8, 2012, at 20:39:20
In reply to Re: Ideal Client, Ideal Therapist (inspired by Dinah) » Anemone, posted by Dinah on January 7, 2012, at 13:14:05
Hi Dinah,
I know you don't admire your T as much as I do mine, but I think he is cool in his own way. Wow, he had a goatee? I see you don't like it much.
About authentic vs ideal conundrum: I think each client can be ideal in her own way. I focus on being authentic and hope to create a new kind of ideal for my T. Not the kind of ideal as defined as that yucky article.
Just like food: we can't say only muffins are ideal, because pancakes are great too. So, maybe there is no one ideal, our Ts can discover that each of us is wonderful in our own ways?
not sure if the above makes any sense...
I don't mind my T keeping the fan magazine, I hope she can use it for when she needs a laugh. I guess on this website no one else admires his/her T this much? I feel like a weirdo here.
Posted by Dinah on January 9, 2012, at 10:26:10
In reply to Re: Ideal Client, Ideal Therapist (inspired by Dinah) » Dinah, posted by Anemone on January 8, 2012, at 20:39:20
Well, you're probably on the extreme end of the spectrum, but I think everyone has experienced what you've experienced to some degree or another - whether with a therapist or someone else.
I'm glad to hear that you try to be ideal while also being authentic. I had thought you were saying that your goal was to be the ideal client, and you were changing what you say and do to fit that mold. But if you are trying to become ideal while also being you, that's great. Because paradoxically, that *is* what is ideal in therapy. To be authentic, and open about who we really are.
Not that I'd be more than slightly rude with my therapist. That wouldn't be authentic to who I am. :)
Posted by Anemone on January 9, 2012, at 20:24:26
In reply to Re: Ideal Client, Ideal Therapist (inspired by Dinah) » Anemone, posted by Dinah on January 9, 2012, at 10:26:10
Hi Dinah, Thank you for your reassurance and for understanding what I meant. I am sure you are never more than slightly rude with your T! ;)
I must have communicated it wrong. In my original post, I meant that by showing my embarrassing magazine to my T, I was showing the authentic side of myself, the side that adores my T.
I showed her my honest feelings even when I risked looking dumb and childish.
And I feel that my T likes my honesty and she is authentic with me in return. She never quite came out to say I am her ideal client, but I get the feeling she enjoys working with me sometimes.
Posted by Raisinb on January 9, 2012, at 20:52:50
In reply to Ideal Client, Ideal Therapist (inspired by Dinah), posted by Anemone on January 7, 2012, at 9:46:15
I view part of my job in therapy as teaching my therapist that how I am *is* the ideal.
This may be why my progress is a bit slow :)
Posted by emmanuel98 on January 9, 2012, at 21:03:24
In reply to Dinah: agree with the paradox » Dinah, posted by Anemone on January 9, 2012, at 20:24:26
One of the most lovely things my p-doc ever said was, after I told him I wanted to give him something important and meaningful, that I had already given him a relationship of mutual trust and couldn't imagine any greater or more meaningful gift.
I think this is, above all, what good T's want in a client. To trust, to be honest, to be willing to work and try to change.
Posted by Dinah on January 10, 2012, at 9:37:47
In reply to Re: Ideal Client, Ideal Therapist (inspired by Dinah), posted by Raisinb on January 9, 2012, at 20:52:50
Posted by Anemone on January 10, 2012, at 12:49:41
In reply to Re: Dinah: agree with the paradox, posted by emmanuel98 on January 9, 2012, at 21:03:24
Hi Emmanuel, Your P-doc sounds wonderful! What he said was so warm and lovely.
Posted by Anemone on January 10, 2012, at 12:52:16
In reply to Re: Ideal Client, Ideal Therapist (inspired by Dinah), posted by Raisinb on January 9, 2012, at 20:52:50
Hi Raisinb,
I hope your T understands and appreciates that you are the most ideal raisin you can be! Slow and steady...
This is the end of the thread.
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