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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by stargazer2 on May 23, 2010, at 0:39:16
I'm reading some of the posts here realizing the majority of the posters are in therapy but since I'm not, I decided to post anyway, as what I am thinking is just general feelings stuff, but not related to meds, where I usually post.
I have a long history of depression (30+), have been on meds for 20+ years and in therapy at various times in my life.
My current situation involves my negative thinking that is so overwhelming that basically everything that comes into my mind is negative and all I find myself saying to myself is "how does anyone want to live in this world today with all the bad stuff that is going." Along with that are thoughts that I would be better off dead and wish it was easy to get to that point. I really don't understand why people fight so hard to live when all I want to do is die.
Does anyone else have these constant thoughts and do you tell others about them or do you only tell your therapist?
I know that when you are this negative, it is understood that no one wants to hear it and mostly in the past I have kept these feeling to myself, as I know they are not mainstream or acceptable feelings, outside of a therapists office. I have spent years of pretending I was fine, not revealing all of my negative thoughts and the few times I have, people get freaked out.
Is being this honest with feeling a definate no-no in society today? I haven't been this negative lately , so I'm not sure today as it seems as though everyone tells everything to anyone. I am avoiding social contact because of how negative I am feeling. Are these thoughts normal? They seem like the truth to me.
As a child, I was taught to only say something if it was positive and I was essentially a mute child. I had early negativity too. Sad childhood, from what I remember.
I hope some of you can understand what I am going through. I think when I first saw a therapist it was basically for some of the same feelings I am having now.
Posted by obsidian on May 23, 2010, at 10:32:23
In reply to Do you have to be in therapy?Negative thoughts, posted by stargazer2 on May 23, 2010, at 0:39:16
> I'm reading some of the posts here realizing the majority of the posters are in therapy but since I'm not, I decided to post anyway, as what I am thinking is just general feelings stuff, but not related to meds, where I usually post.
of course...no special requirements here
> Does anyone else have these constant thoughts and do you tell others about them or do you only tell your therapist?I find that I have a lot of negative thoughts, which I am often not even aware of, or let's say identifying as such, sometimes they are more active than other times.
I'm thinking about starting to track them....they just happen so automatically, I mean write them down or something.
> I know that when you are this negative, it is understood that no one wants to hear it and mostly in the past I have kept these feeling to myself, as I know they are not mainstream or acceptable feelings, outside of a therapists office. I have spent years of pretending I was fine, not revealing all of my negative thoughts and the few times I have, people get freaked out.> Is being this honest with feeling a definate no-no in society today? I haven't been this negative lately , so I'm not sure today as it seems as though everyone tells everything to anyone. I am avoiding social contact because of how negative I am feeling. Are these thoughts normal? They seem like the truth to me.
I don't know anything about normal. ;-)
I'm wondering how depressed you might be though. I know you said you're not in therapy, but do you take meds, see a psychiatrist? It's the intensity of the thing that I suppose I need to pay attention to for myself. I've never been "happy, happy, joy, joy", but I have certainly been in the state where absolutely nothing was ok, and that is just too painful a place to be (in my opinion).As for the not feeling ok to express authentic thoughts because they are negative...I dunno, all our newspapers are full of negative stories...so go figure.
> As a child, I was taught to only say something if it was positive and I was essentially a mute child. I had early negativity too. Sad childhood, from what I remember.
ugh, that sucks...who knows why some parents do what they do.
Posted by sigismund on May 24, 2010, at 16:36:15
In reply to Do you have to be in therapy?Negative thoughts, posted by stargazer2 on May 23, 2010, at 0:39:16
>I find myself saying to myself is "how does anyone want to live in this world today with all the bad stuff that is going." Along with that are thoughts that I would be better off dead and wish it was easy to get to that point. I really don't understand why people fight so hard to live when all I want to do is die.
As I walked back from locking the chooks (chickens!) up, I was thinking just exactly that.
I actually see a psych at the moment, but I wouldn't call it therapy. We agree wholeheartedly on the state of the world (life is a mistake, humanity sucks). I then say it (and all the rest) makes me feel like knocking myself off. He says stuff like 'Oh no, I think it's fascinating'. So perhaps he is trying to help me bear negativity without being depressed by it
Posted by sigismund on May 24, 2010, at 16:42:45
In reply to Do you have to be in therapy?Negative thoughts, posted by stargazer2 on May 23, 2010, at 0:39:16
>Is being this honest with feeling a definate no-no in society today?
Not everywhere. I have to be careful too.
>I am avoiding social contact because of how negative I am feeling. Are these thoughts normal? They seem like the truth to me.I'd like to be able to say something clever and insightful about the idea of normality, but my current hostility to the concept is getting in the way.
Posted by stargazer2 on May 24, 2010, at 19:04:45
In reply to Re: Do you have to be in therapy?Negative thoughts, posted by sigismund on May 24, 2010, at 16:42:45
I guess I would have to make sure I was talking to another depressive to voice some of these concerns, everyone else tries to convince me that I shouldn't feel that way, why not, it is what I feel. What happened to being bale to express ones feelings???
I think when my depression is medicated, all those thoughts are just blunted but it doesn't mean they are not true, right?
Thanks for validating my thoughts Sigi...Do you really have chickens? I love all kinds of animals...today when I came downstairs, the door was wide open and a birdie got into the house...I grabbed it and it bit me gently and then I was able to set it free...I was so happy my dogs didn't take things into their own hands (or mouths).
Have a nice evening wherever you are in the world.
Posted by sigismund on May 24, 2010, at 22:16:45
In reply to Re: Do you have to be in therapy?Negative thoughts, posted by stargazer2 on May 24, 2010, at 19:04:45
>I love all kinds of animals.
We have miniature bats that are small like small birds but fly a little differently. They come in at night but seem to make their way out OK. Then there are the carpet snakes, which are very cool but harder to handle. You do have to make sure you are talking to people for whom depressed thinking is familiar and nonthreatening.
This is the end of the thread.
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