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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 9:42:23
I called my T today and left a voicemail that said that I don't really need to see him because nothing has changed and I am doing fine. I said it would be a waste of time and I am so busy anyways. I told him that someone else can have my appointment time because they probably need it more than I do. I told him if anything changes, and I need to talk to him, I will make an appointment.
I didn't even know when my appointment was, I had to call him to find out since I lost my card. Then I had second thoughts and deceided I didn't really need to come in anyways. I feel a little sad, but brave, I need to move on without him.
Posted by LadyBug on March 29, 2007, at 11:03:57
In reply to I am letting go, posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 9:42:23
Posted by Dinah on March 29, 2007, at 16:34:06
In reply to I am letting go, posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 9:42:23
I'm happy for you. I think it's a good thing that a client can make those decisions, and choose the schedule. It's empowering.
Posted by LadyBug on March 29, 2007, at 16:39:59
In reply to I am letting go, posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 9:42:23
Duh, I typed a message to you. I'm at work, I got interupted so I must have hit the no message lalalala.
I think it's good that you recognize what you need and can make that decision! Yea!!!!! Progress! Growth!!!
Will you make an appointment with him to say a goodbye? Just wondering what's the plan.
I'll never be able to end this therapy. I need my T to help me stay balanced with all the crap in my life. I'm always in more pain than I can handle.
Stay Happy..........................flower
LadyBug
Posted by scentedgarden on March 29, 2007, at 16:53:12
In reply to I am letting go, posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 9:42:23
I'd love to do that.
Posted by canadagirl on March 29, 2007, at 19:11:45
In reply to I am letting go, posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 9:42:23
Congratulations on all the hard work - and it's good to know they are always there if we need them again, right.
Now, I'm going to give a contrarian opinion here, but it can be helpful to say "goodbye" with a final session, even if you don't feel you have anything else to say other than, enjoyed working with you or whatever. It gives both therapist and client the opportunity to process the ending if they've both done good work together and process the emotions a little too. I've had clients in another type of setting and when they got off their program it was always nice to see their progress and say goodbye, and from their perspective too, as we worked together in some cases for a long time.
Posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 20:09:45
In reply to Re: I am letting go » Happyflower, posted by canadagirl on March 29, 2007, at 19:11:45
I am not sure if I did the right thing, I might have sounded angry, not so much by my tone of voice, but what I said like "waste of time", someone else needs the appointment more than me.
Maybe I am angry at everything to do with therapy and him. I feel angry and sad too.
Maybe I want to show him that I don't need him, but I probably do. I am just confused. Maybe me leaving is better than him leaving me. Maybe anger is helping me leave. I have never really had a good goodbye in my life, so why start now?
I am tired, I think I just need to go to bed. Maybe I regret what I have done, maybe not, maybe I just want to be angry and not show I even care or need him. Maybe I want him to feel bad too that my therapy is ended.
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 29, 2007, at 20:15:52
In reply to anger, posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 20:09:45
Been there, done that HF. It is *always* easier for me to leave angry. And it is almost always NOT the healthy thing to do.
Might I suggest that learning how to say a good goodbye might be a useful therapy exercise?
I know it's hard. (((((((((HF))))))))
Posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 20:17:56
In reply to anger, posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 20:09:45
I am even upset with his actions at the gym, like he is leading me on. The actions in therapy, which I haven't spoke of, is leading me on. I feel like such a dope! I have fallen deep. I just wish he would be straight with me and stop these games. I just want to fall out of his life, and never come back. Love is so stupid sometimes.
Posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 20:23:07
In reply to Re: anger, posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 20:17:56
Of course he probably isn't surprised , I have acted like this before. He knows I have some anger regarding termination, but he hasn't done or said anything about it when I mention it. I guess I am angry and now I feel like such a jerk. I say mean things to him, and the last time I did, it really did get to him when he said normally nothing gets to him. Like the time I told him he must have fallen on his head. Well he did take it personally. He is probably tired of my sh*t. How can you love somebody and be totally mad as hell at them, even if it isn't their fault. What a piece of sh*t I am
Posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 20:38:34
In reply to Re: anger, posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 20:23:07
How could I be such and *ss to my T who has been nothing but wonderful to me? What the f*ck is wrong with me? I just want to hide in my hole for awhile, to ashamed to show my face.
Posted by madeline on March 29, 2007, at 21:11:05
In reply to Re: anger, posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 20:17:56
Based on my experience and my experience only, the best thing to do is to go to therapy and talk this out.
You are strong enough to see this through to a resolution that will allow you to walk out of therapy without feeling that you are running away.Also, based on my experience being mean to your therapist is a symptom of something and not a reflection of who you are as a person.
For instance, if you had a cold, would you feel like a bad person for having a runny nose?
You behaviour is telling you something, listen to it and let him help you with it.
I'm here
maddie
Posted by LadyBug on March 30, 2007, at 9:34:24
In reply to anger, posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 20:09:45
Angry feelings are just plain hard to suffer through. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I know for me anger is poison to my soul, but I'm so full of it lately that I have a hard time even functioning. I hope you can work through the feelings and find some peace really soon. Hang in there, these feelings will pass.
Hugs to you Angry flower..........(((((___)))))
LadyBug
Posted by Happyflower on March 30, 2007, at 17:47:42
In reply to Re: anger » Happyflower, posted by TherapyGirl on March 29, 2007, at 20:15:52
Hi LadyBug,
I am the same way, I want to be angry at him so I can say he is an *sshole and that is why I am leaving, but I can't because he isn't.
Maybe this is practice for the real thing. I am going to try to cope without my appointment Tues. I need to do this, I think, I don't want to depend on him anymore. I hope he lets me have my space. It will be 4 weeks since my last appointement on Tues, so it is then longest without him in 2 years. It is so hard. Thank you so much for your support. ;-)
Posted by Happyflower on March 30, 2007, at 17:48:20
In reply to anger, posted by Happyflower on March 29, 2007, at 20:09:45
Posted by Happyflower on March 30, 2007, at 17:49:34
In reply to Re: I am letting go » Happyflower, posted by LadyBug on March 29, 2007, at 16:39:59
Posted by Happyflower on March 30, 2007, at 17:52:26
In reply to Re: anger » Happyflower, posted by LadyBug on March 30, 2007, at 9:34:24
Thanks LadyBug,
I am trying to just feel the anger, sadness, and disapointment. I am a bit surprised how I let loose with my words on my posts. I think I can get through this, I just sort of panicked when I realized what I did. I didn't tell him I am quiting, but not going to my next appointment. I hope he gives me some space. Thanks for the hugs, and here is some for you too. ((((ladybug))))
Posted by Happyflower on March 30, 2007, at 17:56:56
In reply to Re: anger » Happyflower, posted by madeline on March 29, 2007, at 21:11:05
Hi Maddie,
Do you ever feel angry as you are going through with termination? I guess I have a lot of it and need to process it, I am not sure if it is hurt, anger, or sadness, or all. I am trying to feel better, but my stomach is turning and there is a lump in my throat. Plus I am scared to seeing him at the gym. I might have hurt his feelings when I said it was a waste of time. But he knows me, and probably knows what this is all about. I acted simularily last time when we tried going once a month, and I just got so mad. I will be okay, I am glad I have you to talk to. Thanks for being a friend to me.
Posted by Happyflower on March 30, 2007, at 18:01:37
In reply to Re: anger » Happyflower, posted by TherapyGirl on March 29, 2007, at 20:15:52
I think I need to go to bed, I am so confused in my brain.
This is the end of the thread.
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