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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sunnydays on March 21, 2007, at 13:00:06
I am sooooooo sad. I have a headache from crying. My T is injured (his back) and he's out the whole week. And next week's still up in the air, according to the secretary. I made an appointment to see my pdoc, just to see someone, and I have group tonight, but none of that is the same as seeing my T. And I called him but he didn't call me back, I assume because he can't. I had been seeing him twice a week, but now it's been two weeks since the last time I saw him. I am so incredibly sad. Someone help me.
sunnydays
Posted by Dinah on March 21, 2007, at 14:26:15
In reply to so so so so so so so so so so so sad, posted by sunnydays on March 21, 2007, at 13:00:06
Oh, cr*p. That really stinks. :(
I'm sorry your therapist is feeling bad, and I'm sorry you haven't been able to see him.
I wish there was a way I could help, but I can't really I don't think.
Yesterday I had to cancel because my son was home sick, and I think I talked a bit more than usual to the therapist in my brain. It *might* have helped a bit.
Do you have any pictures or phone messages saved?
Posted by gazo on March 21, 2007, at 16:48:29
In reply to so so so so so so so so so so so sad, posted by sunnydays on March 21, 2007, at 13:00:06
i am sorry... i understand how much it hurts. i have found that writing letters helps, you can give them to him later.
can you find things you enjoy to distract and comfort yourself?
Posted by sunnydays on March 21, 2007, at 19:21:16
In reply to Re: so so so so so so so so so so so sad » sunnydays, posted by gazo on March 21, 2007, at 16:48:29
Thank you both. It's just so painful. Is it wrong to be this upset? I just miss him so much, and I can't help it.
sunnydays
Posted by gazo on March 21, 2007, at 21:23:56
In reply to Is it wrong to miss him?, posted by sunnydays on March 21, 2007, at 19:21:16
i don't think it's wrong, it's just where you are at right now. I really feel for you.. that's the thing about therapy that bothers me..sometimes it's unavoidable to have gaps and it hurts.
try to be gentle with yourself
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 21, 2007, at 23:15:42
In reply to so so so so so so so so so so so sad, posted by sunnydays on March 21, 2007, at 13:00:06
Awwwww SD, this is an awful situation, of course you upset :(
It might be a bit strange if you were not upset.
Its a good thing you can express these feelings, even though it hurts.
From what I gather, its best to express this stuff rather than hold it in.
And the intensity will diminish some and be somewhat easier to bear.
I hope he calls soon. Guess he must be feeling pretty bad :( poor guy. But hopefully he can at least make some calls sometime soon.
Guess he can't work if he can't sit for long periods of time.
Wish I could make you feel better SD, guess this just one of those crappy parts of life we just goto bear with and through.
Take care.
Posted by sunnydays on March 22, 2007, at 19:55:50
In reply to Re: so so so so so so so so so so so sad, posted by Iwillsurvive on March 21, 2007, at 23:15:42
Thanks everyone. He called me today - he sounds awful and could only talk for two minutes because he felt so sick from the pain meds. And he probably won't be back next week... uggh. I'm so worried about him. Luckily I have other supports here, but it's not the same as him.
sunnydays
Posted by Dinah on March 23, 2007, at 10:04:50
In reply to update, posted by sunnydays on March 22, 2007, at 19:55:50
He'll be ok. It'll just take a while.
I'm glad he called you. Even if he wasn't himself, I hope it helped you keep hold of the fact that he will return?
Posted by gazo on March 23, 2007, at 22:11:14
In reply to update, posted by sunnydays on March 22, 2007, at 19:55:50
i am glad he called you. how are you doing? holding up ok?
Posted by sunnydays on March 24, 2007, at 17:58:12
In reply to Re: update, posted by gazo on March 23, 2007, at 22:11:14
Thanks. I'm very very depressed at the moment. Crying a lot and finding it very hard. But I'll be fine, I always am.
sunnydays
Posted by Dinah on March 24, 2007, at 20:24:01
In reply to Re: update » gazo, posted by sunnydays on March 24, 2007, at 17:58:12
((((sunnydays))))
Posted by 10derHeart on March 25, 2007, at 15:39:41
In reply to Re: update » sunnydays, posted by Dinah on March 24, 2007, at 20:24:01
I don't have any amazing words to say that might make you feel better. Missing a T., especially in this 'up in the air' situation, just feels like absolute cr*p. I've been there in the past, and it was agonizing.I wish I could make it better, I really do.
Of course you're not wrong in your feelings. Your feelings are important and precious. I shudder to imagine myself in your shoes, because I would be a mess. I think....it's the da*n uncertainty right now. You don't have your next session on a specific day, so you can't even start a countdown or anything to tangibly see how the days are going by, and that sucks :-( I'll bet when he's a bit better and lets you know of his plans to return, even if you have to wait a few days after that, it'll be a big relief.
I'm hoping and praying you'll hear from him again soon to give you another update. Those will help. His back will heal and he will be back, he will feel just as safe and kind, and you *will* be alright.
Try to remember, if you can, these sad, scared and frustrated feelings can't actually harm you, if that makes any sense. While we're feeling them, they seem overswhelming and everlasting, but they never are, and when this episode is over, the awfulness will fade away quickly.
To me, what the sadness is, is a beautiful reflection of the depth if your attachment and love for your T., so even though living through them totally sucks, they represent something wonderful.
I know this won't change the day to day right now, and you can send me a cyber-slap if you want. I'd understand.
stay in touch if you can ((((sunny))))
Posted by sunnydays on March 25, 2007, at 18:13:21
In reply to Re: update » sunnydays, posted by Dinah on March 24, 2007, at 20:24:01
Posted by sunnydays on March 25, 2007, at 19:10:25
In reply to sunny, I'm thinking of you, posted by 10derHeart on March 25, 2007, at 15:39:41
> I don't have any amazing words to say that might make you feel better. Missing a T., especially in this 'up in the air' situation, just feels like absolute cr*p. I've been there in the past, and it was agonizing.
**** Thanks for just writing, 10der. It really helps to know someone is thinking of me. It shocked me to see your post, because I just wasn't expecting anyone would think of me. It is so hard right now.
>
> I wish I could make it better, I really do.**** Me too, but I don't think anyone can make it better until my T comes back. I just want to hide from everything in my life. I really really don't even want to go to classes tomorrow. I have to, and luckily I have a meeting with my pdoc before classes on Monday, so hopefully she'll convince me. I just want to lay on my bed and watch tv and not move. For days. I get so anxious thinking about doing anything.
>
> Of course you're not wrong in your feelings. Your feelings are important and precious. I shudder to imagine myself in your shoes, because I would be a mess. I think....it's the da*n uncertainty right now. You don't have your next session on a specific day, so you can't even start a countdown or anything to tangibly see how the days are going by, and that sucks :-( I'll bet when he's a bit better and lets you know of his plans to return, even if you have to wait a few days after that, it'll be a big relief.**** I can't wait until I have a specific day. It kills me, absolutely kills me, that I have no idea when he'll be back.
>
> I'm hoping and praying you'll hear from him again soon to give you another update. Those will help. His back will heal and he will be back, he will feel just as safe and kind, and you *will* be alright.**** Thank you. I probably won't hear from again until I see him at the appointment, though. Probably his secretary will call me when he's coming back. I hope he still feels the same. I'm so so so scared that he's going to feel completely different. And that he'll be mad at me for missing him. And for getting depressed while he was gone. And for calling him (it was before I knew he was doing so bad). And that he's going to end up finding out something horrible and never be able to come back. Or that it will be months. I am so so scared.
>
> Try to remember, if you can, these sad, scared and frustrated feelings can't actually harm you, if that makes any sense. While we're feeling them, they seem overswhelming and everlasting, but they never are, and when this episode is over, the awfulness will fade away quickly.**** I hope so. I've been having suicidal thoughts lately. Nothing I'm anywhere close to acting on, but it bothers me just having them.
>
> To me, what the sadness is, is a beautiful reflection of the depth if your attachment and love for your T., so even though living through them totally sucks, they represent something wonderful.
>**** Yeah, he really does. I was talking to my pdoc the other day and I couldn't even talk about him without tearing up, he's that important to me.
> I know this won't change the day to day right now, and you can send me a cyber-slap if you want. I'd understand.
>
> stay in touch if you can ((((sunny))))
>
>**** Thank you 10der. No cyber-slaps for you!! Your post meant a lot to me.
sunnydays
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