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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 12:47:38
HI,
Some of you know some of my situation, but I'm new, so I'll go through it again, then I have some questions.
First of all I'm a mom of 4 kids, all ADD/ADHD. My husband and I are also ADD. The kids and I are all formally diagnosed, my husband would be, I know for sure, but won't go, which is fine.
Anyway, as a kid I was totally hyper, a tom boy type. Lots of accidents, lots of getting into trouble because of impulsivity. I was always REALLY active in sports and school activities well into my high school years. Swimming, diving, softball, volleyball, band, choir, student council, etc...
When I was in 8th grade I started having migraines because of my periods. Then, the next year, when I was a freshman in h.s., I got beat up and sexually assaulted by 3 boys from my school, when I was on the way home from a football game. Shortly after that, my mom took me to the GP because of the headaches. He assumed they had to do with the assault, and sent me to a shrink, a friend of his. The shrink had talked to him, so even though my mom told the shrink that the headaches were hormonal, he didn' believe her, told her he'd seen it before and that it was depression, and that he wanted to treat me for depression, but with a medication that would help the headaches (elavil). My parents hemed and hawed for about 2 months because they didn't see any depression. I was so active and had so many friends, they just thought he was off base, and told him. But they made me see him weekly during that time, even though I refused to talk to him. After the 2 months, he said either they agree to treatment, or they need to find someone else. So, they agreed to the meds. I didn't. The meds made me lethargic and tired. I'd fall asleep in class, and it made it difficult for me to participate in all of my activities because I was so tired all the time. I hated the shrink, felt like he was taking everything I loved away from me, and sucking the life out of me by giving me the meds. I was forced to take the meds by my parents, who threatened to make me give up my activities, so I took them. Lots of stuff happened that I didn't like, but during that time, since I wouldn't participate in the "therapy", the doctor labeled me depressed and oppositional, and told my parents I was a very defiant adolescent. The shrink would either play solitaire during the time I was there, or sit right next to me and try to get me to cry. Over time he broke me down, as I lost more friends and more activities because I was too tired to do anything. My boyfriend and several friends stayed faithful, but one time my boyfriend took me to my appt., and when the shrink came out to get me, my boyfriend kissed me on the head. At the next appt. with my parents, the shrink told my parents he felt very strongly that I was probably sexually active, and wouldn't doubt I was experimenting w/drugs. I wasn't doing either. After that, all H*** broke lose. I'd been on a date with my boyfriend when my parents were at their meeting with the shrink. When I got home my room had been ransacked, and my parents told my boyfriend to leave. They told me I couldn't see him anymore because we were having sex, and that I couldn't go out w/my friends anymore because they were doing drugs. What?! None of it was true, and what killed me is that I was the perfect kid. Nice friends, good grades, really nice boyfriend, no trouble to anyone. I was SO hurt, and so angry. Anyway, over the next months, my life took a real downturn. I was spied on, lied to, and just felt like I had no privacy. I hated the shrink, and blamed him for all of it. Finally, I got so angry and felt SO trapped that I cut my wrists. Not as a suicide attempt, just because I felt so little control over my life. After that, the shrink said my behavior proved I needed more control and he put me on Mellaril, which made me a total zombie. I was on that for about 6 to 9 months.
Shortly after all of that I was in a really bad car wreck. The car was forced off the road by a drunk driver, and went over an embankment. It rolled 3 times that I remember, and then I was thrown from the car, which I don't remember. I was in the hospital for 10 weeks, at which time I was treated by a really good neurologist, who took me off all the crazy meds the shrink had me on, and gave my parents what for, for not treating my migraines in the first place. That was a good turning point for me, and since then things have been better. That was about 20 years ago.
Anyway, how much do I tell my p-doc? I have ADD, and he's treating me for that, but he knows almost nothing of the past, other than I took Elavil. I figured if I told him I'd been on Mellaril, he'd jump to conclusions. I can't tell anything out of context or it wouldn't be understood, BUT I only see him for 20 min. once a month. Do I wait and tell my therapist, who will be in the same practice, or do I tell the p-doc now? Or do I ask him if he needs to know?
I don't know how these things work.Thanks for listening, and any advice.
Jazzed
Posted by pinkeye on May 19, 2005, at 13:55:43
In reply to intro and questions re:p-doc (long)may trigger, posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 12:47:38
Oh My God. Shrinks can be that bad?? So awful.
I have never had any bad experience with any doctor so far. Except maybe once I didn't like a GP and found someone else.
I am sorry about your experience with your Shrink.
But I do think you need to tell your current pdoc your history.. without hiding anything. Mabye just take a printout of this post, and give it to him so he can read it when he has time. I am sure a good pdoc will be able to understand you.
I don't know anything about ADD though. But if all your kids have it and you have it, and you think your husband has it, shouldn't you really try some intensive therapy now? Can you afford it?
Posted by Shortelise on May 19, 2005, at 14:15:16
In reply to intro and questions re:p-doc (long)may trigger, posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 12:47:38
Welcome Jazzed.
There are two things I wonder about : Is your p-doc your therapist? And how old are you, how long ago did all of that happen?
ShortE
Posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 14:54:55
In reply to return question » Jazzed, posted by Shortelise on May 19, 2005, at 14:15:16
print out that post and bring it in to him.
These doctors are supposed to be treating US, not
dx's....Maybe it's time for a real diagnosis instead of a "left's pick up where the last guy left off" song and dance..oooh, struck a nerve with me on that one... Projection, anyone?!?!
Well, you have MY unadultered opinion on the matter...
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 15:26:33
In reply to Re: intro and questions re:p-doc (long)may trigger » Jazzed, posted by pinkeye on May 19, 2005, at 13:55:43
> Oh My God. Shrinks can be that bad?? So awful.
>
> I have never had any bad experience with any doctor so far. Except maybe once I didn't like a GP and found someone else.
>
> I am sorry about your experience with your Shrink.
>
> But I do think you need to tell your current pdoc your history.. without hiding anything. Mabye just take a printout of this post, and give it to him so he can read it when he has time. I am sure a good pdoc will be able to understand you.
>
> I don't know anything about ADD though. But if all your kids have it and you have it, and you think your husband has it, shouldn't you really try some intensive therapy now? Can you afford it?
Thanks pinkeye. I'll ask him how much he needs to know. My daughter has an appt. today. My son and daughter are doing therapy over the summer. I might start in the fall. That's another thing, I'm not sure if I need it or if I want it, or why I need it or want it! LOL Try to follow that! Right now, between the doc appts. and meds, it's about $500 a month, I figure the therapy will take it to about $600 a month. It's tight. We can't all go at once, and we don't need family therapy. The kids need to work on individual issues, and who knows what I need!Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 15:28:21
In reply to return question » Jazzed, posted by Shortelise on May 19, 2005, at 14:15:16
> Welcome Jazzed.
>
> There are two things I wonder about : Is your p-doc your therapist? And how old are you, how long ago did all of that happen?
>
> ShortEHi ShortE,
The p-doc is NOT a therapist, which is why I wondered how much I should tell him. And it was over 20 years ago that I was in therapy with the crapy shrink.
thanks,
Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 15:31:36
In reply to Re: I'm with pinkeye, posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 14:54:55
> print out that post and bring it in to him.
>
> These doctors are supposed to be treating US, not
> dx's....Maybe it's time for a real diagnosis instead of a "left's pick up where the last guy left off" song and dance..
>
> oooh, struck a nerve with me on that one... Projection, anyone?!?!Thanks Sunny,
I'm not sure if I'm hearing you correctly. The p-doc is treating my ADD, which is what I think was my problem as a teen, but I was treated for depression, which I didn't have.
So, you think in addition to knowing I have ADD, that he SHOULD know everything about the past? Scary!!!! Very threatening to me to have to go there. I figure I'll have to do it in therapy, but didn't think I'd have to go there with the p-doc, since he doesn't do therapy.
Thanks, I appreciate your opinion,
Jazzed
Posted by Tamar on May 19, 2005, at 17:17:49
In reply to intro and questions re:p-doc (long)may trigger, posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 12:47:38
Hi Jazzed,
I think it's wise to tell him everything you said in your post, because he'll need all the information to do the best he can for you. Even if he's not a therapist, most of what you'd said pertains to your psychological background and so I think it would be useful for him to know it.
I think the idea of printing out your post is a good one; that way you don't have to say it all out loud if you don't want to.
I hope it goes well for you.
Tamar
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 17:32:24
In reply to Re: intro and questions re:p-doc (long)may trigger » Jazzed, posted by Tamar on May 19, 2005, at 17:17:49
> Hi Jazzed,
>
> I think it's wise to tell him everything you said in your post, because he'll need all the information to do the best he can for you. Even if he's not a therapist, most of what you'd said pertains to your psychological background and so I think it would be useful for him to know it.
>
> I think the idea of printing out your post is a good one; that way you don't have to say it all out loud if you don't want to.
>
> I hope it goes well for you.
>
> Tamar
>ARGH! I didn't get to say a thing because he had my daughter stay in the room. I think I will print my post though because it will be easier than trying to tell him. Don't see him again till June, so will have too much time to think about it. Thanks for all the advice, I appreciate it. Going into this type of a situation really creeps me out because of the bad history. I'm not even sure I'll be able to stick with it. Might have to transfer the kids to the ped., and quit for me. I don't know if I can do it.
Jazzed
Posted by Shortelise on May 19, 2005, at 19:04:44
In reply to Re: return question, posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 15:28:21
Mellaril was used for lots of things years ago, it was one of those things that, before the SSRI's, was used to try to calm us down. I was also on Mellaril as a young teenager some ... 36 years ago, and I see no stigma attached to it but the attempts of the people in charge of my medical care at the time trying to help relieve me of some of the terrible pain I was in.My experience with psychiatry at that time was similar to your - except I *was* having sex and doing drugs. I spent one year, from when I was 16 to when I was 17, in a psychiatric hospital, a very nice one, granted, but all the same it was not quite the best response to what I was going through at the time.
I carried a lot of anger and trauma about that for a long time. I have now been seeing a psychiatrist for almost seven years, and he has proven to be worthy of every bit of trust I have invested in him. He has helped me osrt throught that awful time, and I no longer carry the rage about it I once did.
All of that just to let you know that I know how it feels to be betrayed by the world at a tender age.
I would not feel obliged to tell the p-doc much of anything. I would be open about my needs now, but not talk about the past. I do this regularly with regular docs. It's none of their business, as far as I can see. And as he is not your therapist, though he may prove to be an ally, for the time being I believe you might keep your history to yourself without there being any kind of dishonesty.
Hope all this blathering of mine helps a little.
ShortE
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 20:34:37
In reply to Re: return question » Jazzed, posted by Shortelise on May 19, 2005, at 19:04:44
>
> Mellaril was used for lots of things years ago, it was one of those things that, before the SSRI's, was used to try to calm us down. I was also on Mellaril as a young teenager some ... 36 years ago, and I see no stigma attached to it but the attempts of the people in charge of my medical care at the time trying to help relieve me of some of the terrible pain I was in.
>
> My experience with psychiatry at that time was similar to your - except I *was* having sex and doing drugs. I spent one year, from when I was 16 to when I was 17, in a psychiatric hospital, a very nice one, granted, but all the same it was not quite the best response to what I was going through at the time.
>
> I carried a lot of anger and trauma about that for a long time. I have now been seeing a psychiatrist for almost seven years, and he has proven to be worthy of every bit of trust I have invested in him. He has helped me osrt throught that awful time, and I no longer carry the rage about it I once did.
>
> All of that just to let you know that I know how it feels to be betrayed by the world at a tender age.
>
> I would not feel obliged to tell the p-doc much of anything. I would be open about my needs now, but not talk about the past. I do this regularly with regular docs. It's none of their business, as far as I can see. And as he is not your therapist, though he may prove to be an ally, for the time being I believe you might keep your history to yourself without there being any kind of dishonesty.
>
> Hope all this blathering of mine helps a little.
>
> ShortEThanks ShortE,
This helps a lot. I have always felt SO stimatized by taking Mellaril, and by the wrist thing. I know I was on other stuff, but don't remember what all it was. The Mellaril I do remember. What a horrible time! I do worry that the p-doc will notice my arms, and that scares me. What if he asks about it, then what do I say? I know it will completely throw me if I'm not prepared. I just dread going because of it, and at my next appt. my daughter will be w/me.
Jazzed
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