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intro and questions re:p-doc (long)may trigger

Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 12:47:38

HI,

Some of you know some of my situation, but I'm new, so I'll go through it again, then I have some questions.

First of all I'm a mom of 4 kids, all ADD/ADHD. My husband and I are also ADD. The kids and I are all formally diagnosed, my husband would be, I know for sure, but won't go, which is fine.

Anyway, as a kid I was totally hyper, a tom boy type. Lots of accidents, lots of getting into trouble because of impulsivity. I was always REALLY active in sports and school activities well into my high school years. Swimming, diving, softball, volleyball, band, choir, student council, etc...

When I was in 8th grade I started having migraines because of my periods. Then, the next year, when I was a freshman in h.s., I got beat up and sexually assaulted by 3 boys from my school, when I was on the way home from a football game. Shortly after that, my mom took me to the GP because of the headaches. He assumed they had to do with the assault, and sent me to a shrink, a friend of his. The shrink had talked to him, so even though my mom told the shrink that the headaches were hormonal, he didn' believe her, told her he'd seen it before and that it was depression, and that he wanted to treat me for depression, but with a medication that would help the headaches (elavil). My parents hemed and hawed for about 2 months because they didn't see any depression. I was so active and had so many friends, they just thought he was off base, and told him. But they made me see him weekly during that time, even though I refused to talk to him. After the 2 months, he said either they agree to treatment, or they need to find someone else. So, they agreed to the meds. I didn't. The meds made me lethargic and tired. I'd fall asleep in class, and it made it difficult for me to participate in all of my activities because I was so tired all the time. I hated the shrink, felt like he was taking everything I loved away from me, and sucking the life out of me by giving me the meds. I was forced to take the meds by my parents, who threatened to make me give up my activities, so I took them. Lots of stuff happened that I didn't like, but during that time, since I wouldn't participate in the "therapy", the doctor labeled me depressed and oppositional, and told my parents I was a very defiant adolescent. The shrink would either play solitaire during the time I was there, or sit right next to me and try to get me to cry. Over time he broke me down, as I lost more friends and more activities because I was too tired to do anything. My boyfriend and several friends stayed faithful, but one time my boyfriend took me to my appt., and when the shrink came out to get me, my boyfriend kissed me on the head. At the next appt. with my parents, the shrink told my parents he felt very strongly that I was probably sexually active, and wouldn't doubt I was experimenting w/drugs. I wasn't doing either. After that, all H*** broke lose. I'd been on a date with my boyfriend when my parents were at their meeting with the shrink. When I got home my room had been ransacked, and my parents told my boyfriend to leave. They told me I couldn't see him anymore because we were having sex, and that I couldn't go out w/my friends anymore because they were doing drugs. What?! None of it was true, and what killed me is that I was the perfect kid. Nice friends, good grades, really nice boyfriend, no trouble to anyone. I was SO hurt, and so angry. Anyway, over the next months, my life took a real downturn. I was spied on, lied to, and just felt like I had no privacy. I hated the shrink, and blamed him for all of it. Finally, I got so angry and felt SO trapped that I cut my wrists. Not as a suicide attempt, just because I felt so little control over my life. After that, the shrink said my behavior proved I needed more control and he put me on Mellaril, which made me a total zombie. I was on that for about 6 to 9 months.

Shortly after all of that I was in a really bad car wreck. The car was forced off the road by a drunk driver, and went over an embankment. It rolled 3 times that I remember, and then I was thrown from the car, which I don't remember. I was in the hospital for 10 weeks, at which time I was treated by a really good neurologist, who took me off all the crazy meds the shrink had me on, and gave my parents what for, for not treating my migraines in the first place. That was a good turning point for me, and since then things have been better. That was about 20 years ago.

Anyway, how much do I tell my p-doc? I have ADD, and he's treating me for that, but he knows almost nothing of the past, other than I took Elavil. I figured if I told him I'd been on Mellaril, he'd jump to conclusions. I can't tell anything out of context or it wouldn't be understood, BUT I only see him for 20 min. once a month. Do I wait and tell my therapist, who will be in the same practice, or do I tell the p-doc now? Or do I ask him if he needs to know?
I don't know how these things work.

Thanks for listening, and any advice.
Jazzed


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Jazzed thread:499907
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/499907.html