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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Aphrodite on October 5, 2004, at 10:23:19
My T came back from vacation, and we had our first visit yesterday. I think I did really well while he was gone because I knew he was not there, so I had to be strong. I think I got too strong. Old defenses came back, and it was easy to tell myself I am too busy for therapy and that I don't really need it because I function so well in the "real world."
So, the meeting was awkward. He tried to dive right back in to the hard stuff, but I resisted. He seemed frustrated but understanding. He asked a lot of questions I just wouldn't answer; there was a block I just couldn't put my finger on.
So, last night, I tried to journal about it. I think the block is that before he left, he told me that he meets with a group of colleagues and discusses my "case." Also, for the emergency contact when he was gone, he left me *his* T's number because "she knows a lot about you."
I am a very reserved and private person. (I talk a lot and am outgoing, but I don't *say* anything -- I'm just very guarded.) I think I'm afraid of what I do/say that is discussed with this people. It's clear that at least his T knows my name because he told me. Can he do that? It's OK, but he didn't ask. He was just trying to prepare her in case I called. I'm not so paranoid to think that he complains or is in anyway unkind about me, but I obviously concern/trigger him to the point where he is going to various sources of outside help.
I'm glad he takes care of himself. Really, I am. I know my case is challenging. However, it no longer feels safe to tell him anything for two reasons: 1) I'm a caretaker, and I'm not sure what it is about me that upsets him, so I freeze. 2) It took so long opening to this *one* person, but now I filter knowing that the information may go to several.
Would it be horrible if I asked him, in general, what is said about me? I guess I want to know if it is in the area of here's-a-case-what-would-you-do-for-her or if it's more personal in that he has a lot of counter-transference issues. I guess it's none of my business, but it is a block.
Any thoughts?
Posted by antigua on October 5, 2004, at 11:00:39
In reply to My T is back -- It's like starting over, posted by Aphrodite on October 5, 2004, at 10:23:19
Sure, I'd ask him what he told them and try to let him know how much info you are comfortable w/him sharing. Sometimes all they want to do is connect w/someone else so that you aren't left too alone. I hate for anyone to talk to my T (sometimes it's required) but I trust her to know what to share, and what NOT to share.
I rarely, if ever, sign that paper that gives medical professionals permission to share my history. I thought they had to get our permission first, anyway. Did he tell you before he did it?
best,
antigua
Posted by Dinah on October 5, 2004, at 11:06:43
In reply to My T is back -- It's like starting over, posted by Aphrodite on October 5, 2004, at 10:23:19
I think it's allowed, if it's for supervision purposes. I thought they had to leave out your name, though, unless it's an agency or something.
I'd definitely talk it through with him. I've asked my therapist very probing questions about this topic in the past until I feel comfortable with his position. Don't be shy about questioning him until you get an adequate comfort level.
Posted by Aphrodite on October 7, 2004, at 14:40:40
In reply to My T is back -- It's like starting over, posted by Aphrodite on October 5, 2004, at 10:23:19
Well, apparently I am better off NOT knowing what he says about me, according to him today. He said he was reluctant to give me specifics as it may "mute" what I say. He tried to reassure me that it's all about him and his issues and not to worry about it.
He also became defensive saying that he gave me his T's number and prepared her with my information and case so that she would be able to help me when he was gone.
I was very comforted. (I hope you read the sarcasm in that.)
It's one of those self-created problems I always do. I asked one time if he ever discussed me with anyone, how does he take care of himself, etc., and he told me. Instead of being glad that he takes care of himself, I let my imagination go a little crazy.
Posted by vwoolf on October 7, 2004, at 14:57:37
In reply to My T is back -- It's like starting over, posted by Aphrodite on October 5, 2004, at 10:23:19
I find that when I imagine my T talking about me casually with friends I get totally paranoid about them laughing at what she knows about me. I can't bear the thought. However when I think of her talking to her supervisor or peers I feel sure they would do it in a completely ethical, respectful way. I used to work for a counselling organisation and found that the therapists were invariably thoughtful and had huge respect for the pain and suffering of their clients. Why would they be there otherwise?
This is the end of the thread.
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