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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Aphrodite on September 23, 2004, at 10:05:35
Last night was my last visit with my T until the beginning of Oct. He wanted to go through self-soothing activities to help me while he was gone because I have recently taken such a downward turn. I was afraid to do anything that would open me up, and I asked to keep it light. We spent the time chatting and bonding, and he shared a lot. It was very nice and not exposing. As he parted, he handed me a note. One part was addressed to the adult me, the other to the little girl. To the little girl, he wrote reassurances that he will be back and will still want to help her, and to the adult he wrote a plea to be wise and bring her back. He also wrote an emergency number. He gave me the name and number of *his* T, and told me not to use the therapist who would be covering for him, that his T was the one who knew my situation. I can't fathom calling her, but the gesture was nice even if it is a little weird.
He expressed his fear that I had my guard up so much that I will think once again I don't need to be there. I certainly had my guard up -- I didn't want him to see how hard it's going to be without him.
I'm counting on you guys to help me through. Sob, sob.
Posted by Dinah on September 23, 2004, at 10:22:28
In reply to My T is on vacation -- sob, posted by Aphrodite on September 23, 2004, at 10:05:35
That was so sweet of him. I'm going to have to print out a bunch of posts, including this one and some about Daisy's therapist, to bring to my therapist and show him the many ways he's lacking.
You are very lucky, Aphrodite. I hope you can cling to that idea and to the tangible reminders until he comes back.
I think it makes a great deal of sense to think that there might be clients that a therapist might think aren't appropriate for his standard fill in. When my therapist worked at the clinic, he was very specific that I should call a specific therapist (the head of the clinic) when he was gone when his mother was sick - not to call the person filling in for him. For years now, except when his mother was sick, he tells me to call him on his cell (which doubles as his regular office phone). So don't feel funny about his having you call a specific therapist. (Ok the fact that it's his therapist might make it weird.)
Mine is gone till next Wednesday and unlike you I didn't have the sense to bond. We left at mid-argument. :(
You'll get through it. It won't be fun, but we'll be here for you if you need it.
Posted by daisym on September 23, 2004, at 13:22:13
In reply to My T is on vacation -- sob, posted by Aphrodite on September 23, 2004, at 10:05:35
I'm glad you had a "light" session and bonded. You should keep the note handy too. And resist the urge to put it completely away (or heaven forbid, destroy it) half way through as your practical side gets stronger. I know that along the way some part of me began to feel "silly" that the picture and voice mail meant so much to me. Or that I felt so completely alone. *sigh* Grown ups just don't understand this.
It has often been suggested before that you should do something very nice for yourself at your appointment time. Shoe shopping works for me, I know Dinah likes baths. Any ideas?
And as far as meeting HIS therapist...I think it would be fascinating to see what type he chose for himself and what her orientation was. Imagine the insight you would gain! I'm glad he set it up so that you really would have someone to call if an emergency came up.
And we'll be here, as we always are. We need a fun vacation thread, I think, because there is another round coming up. You, Dinah and Pfinstegg I know of for sure. Anyone else?
Posted by mair on September 23, 2004, at 14:37:24
In reply to My T is on vacation -- sob, posted by Aphrodite on September 23, 2004, at 10:05:35
I think your T did a great job of prepping you both for his leaving and for his return. I went through a 3 week stretch last month of not seeing my T, and it's taken me several sessions to loosen my guard. I did so well while she was gone that I really did consider not going back. Also I may never have warmed up if we hadn't started discussing whether I was so guarded as an unconscious reaction to her leaving.
Of course now that we've gotten that figured out and now that I'm in total crisis over something else, she's leaving again soon, on a somewhat spur of the moment trip to Mexico. So maybe you and I can help each other through this.
I'm really happy for her that she's going on this trip because she's definitely deserving, but the timing is a little unfortunate. (Really, when you think about it, when is the timing ever good?)
Mair
Posted by Aphrodite on September 23, 2004, at 16:02:36
In reply to Re: My T is on vacation -- sob » Aphrodite, posted by Dinah on September 23, 2004, at 10:22:28
If you print out the good things my T does, it would be only fair to go back and print the clueless things he does too! But yes, the note was unexpected and quite comforting.
I'm sorry you and your T left on a bad note. Are you OK?
Posted by Aphrodite on September 23, 2004, at 16:05:40
In reply to Re: My T is on vacation -- sob, posted by daisym on September 23, 2004, at 13:22:13
Oh yes, there is this morbid curiosity to know what his T like and just how much he has told her! But I can't imagine a crisis big enough that would make me call a complete stranger.
Thanks for the support. I'll trudge through. It's only a week but feels like forever.
Posted by Aphrodite on September 23, 2004, at 16:07:50
In reply to Re: My T is on vacation -- sob » Aphrodite, posted by mair on September 23, 2004, at 14:37:24
Yikes! Two long vacations? That's just torture! I'm sorry about that. It's so hard to open and close like that.
Posted by Aphrodite on September 23, 2004, at 16:10:04
In reply to Re: My T is on vacation -- sob » Dinah, posted by Aphrodite on September 23, 2004, at 16:02:36
Thanks for the tip about having a bonding session. I think if you hadn't suggested that, I would have just wailed through the last session. It was a way to feel close before he left without being exposed.
Posted by Dinah on September 23, 2004, at 16:12:31
In reply to Another thing, Dinah, posted by Aphrodite on September 23, 2004, at 16:10:04
I wish I had listened to my own advice. :) I walked in, plopped on the couch, and opened a big can of worms. :P
I'm fine about it today, but wasn't so good yesterday. Ahhh, the forgetting nap. Nature's wonder. (If only I could make it more specific. I tend to forget what I'm supposed to do at work too.)
Posted by gardenergirl on September 23, 2004, at 18:40:30
In reply to Re: My T is on vacation -- sob » daisym, posted by Aphrodite on September 23, 2004, at 16:05:40
> I'll trudge through. It's only a week but feels like forever.
I completely understand this thought. When my T was actually on vacation, it wasn't as bad as I thought, although my unconscious managed to occupy my energy by having me finally get around to calling a pdoc. That was certainly distracting.
But when he didn't know I was waiting for him in the waiting room and we had a really short session, followed by him being sick the next week, it was a huge deal! I was really both dreading and looking forward to talking about something really hard. I had made up my mind I was going to do it, and then I had to wait??? Argh!
I hope it goes relatively smoothly for you. I think your bonding session sounded very sweet and helpful. I love that he gave you that note. And do call his T if you need to. Try to think of her as an expert consultant instead of his T, perhaps, if it feels to awkward.
Be well,
gg
Posted by Aphrodite on September 24, 2004, at 8:33:40
In reply to Re: My T is on vacation -- sob » Aphrodite, posted by gardenergirl on September 23, 2004, at 18:40:30
I like the "expert consultant" insted of "his T" notion. The only probably is she's an "expert" on my T, and that is just odd, so I hope I have an emergency-free week. Should be OK with all the help I get here. :)
Posted by Aphrodite on September 25, 2004, at 18:37:42
In reply to Re: My T is on vacation -- sob, posted by Aphrodite on September 24, 2004, at 8:33:40
My T was about to depart for vacation and even though we had a session with a note for closure before a couple of days before he left, he called my cell phone and said, "I forgot to say that just because I am going on vacation doesn't mean you don't stay in my thoughts and prayers."
It meant so much.
Posted by Skittles on September 25, 2004, at 19:23:53
In reply to He called on his way out of town . . ., posted by Aphrodite on September 25, 2004, at 18:37:42
What a lovely thing for him to do. I'm so happy for you that you have such a wonderful T.
Posted by gardenergirl on September 25, 2004, at 19:59:21
In reply to Re: He called on his way out of town . . . » Aphrodite, posted by Skittles on September 25, 2004, at 19:23:53
Posted by fallsfall on September 25, 2004, at 22:24:08
In reply to He called on his way out of town . . ., posted by Aphrodite on September 25, 2004, at 18:37:42
How wonderfully sweet.
Posted by Dinah on September 25, 2004, at 23:11:35
In reply to He called on his way out of town . . ., posted by Aphrodite on September 25, 2004, at 18:37:42
I can imagine it did!! That's so sweet.
My therapist would sooner fly to the moon flapping his arms than do something like that. :)
I considered it a grand honor that he said he had been thinking about something related to my therapy.
Treasure him. He sounds like one of the good ones.
This is the end of the thread.
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