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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gardenergirl on August 14, 2004, at 7:52:51
Okay members. Now we've had fun with Daisy's thread. I've got a serious question. My T is back on Wednesday. Over the past several days, I've found myself making a list (mental and actual) of stuff I want to talk to talk about. I never ever do this usually. So I think I've got two issues.
First, the list is too long! I really doubt we can really process this stuff the way we normally would in one session. How do you go about prioritizing what to talk about? Or do you just cover every lightly and then come back to them in subsequent sessions? My list includes practical stuff like the visit with my new pdoc and the reactions to the dosage increase I've had recently. Now this is actually more complex than it sounds, based on how that visit went. And also some questions I have about the psychological impact of the side effects. There is also stuff like a household problem that reminded me of a somewhat traumatic event in childhood that is probably ripe for interpretation. And then other insights and feelings and etc. that I've experienced since he's been gone. Oh, and I think my inner child actually separated while I was meditating. That seems important. And it relates to the last session I had before he left.
Now the other aspect is a transference thing, and that in itself is probably also worth talking about. I feel like I'm anticipating Daddy coming back from one of his frequent business trips, and all the things I want to share with him. Nice childhood image, but IRL it never worked that way. I doubt he talked much to me at all. Except to find out whether I'd been good or not. So that also seems ripe for the pickin's.
How do y'all manage it? And what do you think about my laundry list? Anything stick out to you as more significant?
Thanks!
gg
Posted by Angela2 on August 14, 2004, at 12:02:45
In reply to TOV club: question for fist session back, posted by gardenergirl on August 14, 2004, at 7:52:51
Definitely talk about the psychological side effects of your medicine. That just seems important.
I think it really depends on what you really think will benefit you most. Thats how I choose what to talk to my t about. Like, I was afraid that I had this personality disorder but it turns out I don't and I was thinking of telling her about some insights I had about myself. But it doesn't really pertain to what we are working on in therapy right now so I've decided to leave that out of the conversation right now.
Hope this helps!
Angela
Posted by Dinah on August 14, 2004, at 12:42:59
In reply to TOV club: question for fist session back, posted by gardenergirl on August 14, 2004, at 7:52:51
Well, this is just me. I have trouble slipping back into therapy mode after a vacation because those locked up feelings aren't easily accessed. So I'd probably start with talking about the pdoc, the meds, her manner, and what she imagines your relationship will be like. I'd also probably figure some way to tie that in to something else that was on my mind, and we'd slip into the other discussions once I was more at ease.
Posted by Klokka on August 14, 2004, at 12:58:06
In reply to TOV club: question for fist session back, posted by gardenergirl on August 14, 2004, at 7:52:51
Maybe you can make a list of everything you want to address and give it to him so he has some idea, and then just start with whatever seems more pressing at the moment?
I'm a bit uncertain as to how I'm going to approach the first session back, because he's only been away once when it wasn't just for a week (which I'm somewhat used to because we only met every other week for the first few months,) and that one time wasn't left up to me. He ended up asking a bunch of weird questions and there wasn't really a chance to address anything. After that, of course, I freaked out and ended up having to write about what happened... he said it was very honest and see? something came of the "pointless session" after all. That sure encouraged honesty, alright. ;)
There will definitely be a lot to address. The pile has been building since before he left, really! Before our last session, a lot of very painful stuff came up but I didn't want to address it then, so I wrote it down and gave the papers to him so that I might be forced to deal with it in September - I know I'd otherwise just try and forget all about it. We actually did skim over one of the topics I wrote about, but only because it was either that or play Monopoly. :) That still needs to come up, but can probably wait a while also.
I think the priority will probably be to talk about finding that post of his, because it was so bizarre, such a shock, and I'm sure will make me act somewhat differently. I don't know how I'm going to bring this up. Will probably just say "By the way, I came across something really weird online..." and be done with it: even if I want to chicken out after that point, I won't be allowed to!
Apart from that, as my 17th birthday is coming up, I've been thinking more about my 18th and therefore when I'll have to stop seeing my pdoc. I want to figure out a little bit of how that's going to be handled, and whether I need to find another pdoc on my own or if I'll be given a referral. I start college soon, and in doing so left a high school where the teachers felt almost like family to me, so undoubtedly there's going to be issues around that. Plus I keep thinking about moving out, and that's got me pretty conflicted, too. This kind of relates to the post I found of his, but lately I've been worried to death that nobody who really cares will really stick around, and I guess I should bring that up too.
As far as practical stuff goes, if I can judge by experience my SAD should be kicking in soon (maybe is starting to already?) and, if that does happen, we'll be trying to figure out what to do about it. There's light therapy, which sounds good but is expensive. Getting it covered by insurance without causing a problem with my parents is going to be more than a little tricky, but we'll have to try and work something out. Then there's the possibility of medication. I'm willing to try again but still have some reservations...
To make this even nastier, we start meeting only every other week after the break, unless I can change my schedule to free up Tuesday afternoons too/instead of Fridays. I don't know how this is going to work at all! As for getting everything out there so it is addressed, I'm thinking that I will end up writing a list and leaving it there.
Posted by fallsfall on August 14, 2004, at 14:14:02
In reply to TOV club: question for fist session back, posted by gardenergirl on August 14, 2004, at 7:52:51
This is what I did for my first session after his vacation. It worked pretty well.
That morning I printed out all of the posts/emails/IMs I had written during his vacation - but I didn't read them. This gave me an idea of what the topics might be, reminded me of what had happened. I didn't read them because I didn't want to get all upset before I saw him, and I wanted to feel what was important at the time of my session, rather than what was important during his vacation.
When I got to his office, I had the printouts, but I put them on the floor. I told him in general how I had been and gave some specifics. I figured that what I remembered to talk about would be the most important stuff to talk about. And it really did work that way. I had had a pretty hard time while he was gone, so the first session was mostly letting me know that he was back and that I had survived.
I used to make detailed lists for sessions, but my current therapist doesn't like me to do that. He does believe that what needs to come up will come up, and the less I plan the sessions the more likely we are to end up where we "need" to be.
It's a pretty foreign way to approach things for me, but it is getting easier with practice.
Posted by daisym on August 14, 2004, at 17:22:28
In reply to Re: TOV club: question for fist session back » gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on August 14, 2004, at 14:14:02
I have two huge fears about my therapist leaving: One is that he isn't coming back at all, or if he does, that he will have decided to stop working with me (total abandonment, either way) and two, that "we" will be different when we start working again. That he will have changed the way he relates to me, drawing back and relating adult to adult and not allowing or meeting any childlike needs. I know why I have these fears and I know whose reality they are. My dad traveled a lot and then finally did move away with little or no contact for nearly 4 years. He left when I was barely more than a child and I was almost a woman and very much in charge of myself when we began to rebuild a relationship.
So for me, I would want to talk about my triggered off "dad" feelings. And since my therapy is based in large part on our relationship, I'm guessing he will want to talk about that too...and me missing him Seeing another doc while he was gone, especially one who made some strong psychological suggestions, as in your case, would be top of the list too. Because it would impact my relationship with my therapist.
Mostly I'm hoping I don't just let all of the feelings I'm containing out and completely fall apart. Hmmm...my therapist had me schedule 2 days in a row for when he comes back. Maybe he's anticipating a really long list? Or a complete melt down? Or both? *sigh*
Posted by gardenergirl on August 14, 2004, at 22:47:41
In reply to Re: TOV club: question for fist session back, posted by Angela2 on August 14, 2004, at 12:02:45
Thanks for your input. I will talk to him about what I went througth with the meds, and how it led to what felt almost like panic attacks. It's interesting, though that despite the fact that he was the one who recommended I consider this med, he is pretty uninterested in meds. He is all therapy all the time.
Thanks,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on August 14, 2004, at 22:49:49
In reply to Re: TOV club: question for fist session back, posted by Dinah on August 14, 2004, at 12:42:59
That makes sense, and sound like a good strategy, cause I may very well feel less at ease. Or I may be all over him verbally like a happy puppy. :)
And I just know that whatever I talk about, he'll somehow manage to find some theme to tie it altogher. I am starting to suspect that he keys in on whatever I say first and then the wheels are turning the rest of the session based on that. I'll have to test that theory.
Thanks,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on August 14, 2004, at 22:53:36
In reply to Re: TOV club: question for fist session back, posted by Klokka on August 14, 2004, at 12:58:06
> Maybe you can make a list of everything you want to address and give it to him so he has some idea, and then just start with whatever seems more pressing at the moment?
Yeah, I could just bring in the list I've been working on, but I think he would laugh and laugh. The last session he told me I'm very task oriented, and that I need to just be in the process more. And then he said, now I don't want you to think that you need to go home and "do" something about that. LOL.
And I can get obsessional about stuff related to therapy, and I think he would think this was obsessional. He is not a great believer in preparing for sessions--actually, I think he prefers it when I don't. He's not into journals, but then neither am I.
Boy you sure have a lot on your agenda, too. I hope your session goes well. Thanks for the suggestion.
Take care,
gg
Posted by Dinah on August 14, 2004, at 22:55:38
In reply to Re: TOV club: question for first session back » Dinah, posted by gardenergirl on August 14, 2004, at 22:49:49
Chuckle.
I hope you find that he mixes things up a bit more than that. :) When you learn their techniques, it gets to be more of an analytic exercise than a journey. When I do learn my therapists tricks though, I make sure I tell him. Keeps him on his toes.
Posted by gardenergirl on August 14, 2004, at 22:56:47
In reply to Re: TOV club: question for fist session back » gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on August 14, 2004, at 14:14:02
My T says the same thing...if it's important, it will come up. Once I complained that I was spending so much time talking about what was going on with work, when there was something else I had been really looking forward to talking with him about. I felt like I was being cheated out of my own topic. He said, well then why are you talking about this? It must be important, too. Yeah, dang it.
I think having a reminder there but not prepping may be a good idea. I tend to agree with him that the most important stuff will come up. Unless I avoid talking about the pdoc and run through my laundry list completely instead! :)
Thanks,
gg
Posted by fallsfall on August 15, 2004, at 9:05:45
In reply to Re: TOV club: question for first session back » fallsfall, posted by gardenergirl on August 14, 2004, at 22:56:47
There are times when I avoid bringing up hard topics. But I don't do that too often. I think that I trust him enough, so that I know that I need to talk about the hard things, and that I really do want his help. I guess when there is something really hard, I talk myself into bringing it up, and then force myself to do it. But once the topic is out there, I need to let the conversation go where it needs to go (less control!? what a scary things!).
Posted by shrinking violet on August 15, 2004, at 14:00:56
In reply to TOV club: question for fist session back, posted by gardenergirl on August 14, 2004, at 7:52:51
I'm very much a "planner" and like to have things laid out and know what to expect (which doesn't always work in therapy!), so perhaps my opinion wouldn't work for you, but here's my 2 1/2 cents:
>>...Insights and feelings and etc. that I've experienced since he's been gone. Oh, and I think my inner child actually separated while I was meditating. That seems important. And it relates to the last session I had before he left.
>> Now the other aspect is a transference thing, and that in itself is probably also worth talking about. I feel like I'm anticipating Daddy coming back from one of his frequent business tripsIt seems important to deal with these issues, since they are related and also, as you mentioned, touch upon where you left off. To process how you feel about his returning (anticipation) and seeing him again would be a good place to start, which may also tie into the inner child issue, and can also include other issues/feelings/thoughts you had while he's been away.
>>My list includes practical stuff like the visit with my new pdoc and the reactions to the dosage increase I've had recently. Now this is actually more complex than it sounds, based on how that visit went. And also some questions I have about the psychological impact of the side effects.
This would seem to be a good "middle of session" thing to discuss if you still feel it important and relevant, if/when you exhaust processing his absence and your reaction to his returniing.
>>There is also stuff like a household problem that reminded me of a somewhat traumatic event in childhood that is probably ripe for interpretation. and all the things I want to share with him.
This seems very important, but it also might take up more time in order to explore it fully, so perhaps get some of the other issues dealt with, and then you might feel like you can really work on this without feeling pressured to get the other stuff out, too.
Just some thoughts. No matter how prepared we think we are for sessions, they can always go in a different direction (and often do!). If it makes you feel better to go in with a set agenda, then do so, but once you get there, "feel it out" and take it from there.
Good luck!
Posted by gardenergirl on August 15, 2004, at 18:48:03
In reply to Re: TOV club: question for fist session back » gardenergirl, posted by shrinking violet on August 15, 2004, at 14:00:56
Wow, you are good at organizing for a session. That seems like it flows well and your decisions make sense. I'll have to think about that...
Thanks!
gg
Posted by shrinking violet on August 15, 2004, at 19:45:55
In reply to Re: TOV club: question for fist session back » shrinking violet, posted by gardenergirl on August 15, 2004, at 18:48:03
> Wow, you are good at organizing for a session. That seems like it flows well and your decisions make sense. I'll have to think about that...
>
> Thanks!
> gg
Thanks, I hope I helped. It's the English major (undergrad) in me ;)
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