![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2003, at 14:22:08
one minute i am crying,
the next psycotic,
disasscoiating,
angry and want to be alone,
lonely and need a friend,
anxoius and shaking,
cold and tired
hot and panic stricken from horrid thoughts,
i feel so very confused and frustrated,
i am on meds-been on something for about a year.
it is very exhausting to do this day after day.
any helpful thoughts?
ihavent drank lately,but it acts as a mood stablizer for me...
somtimes i am a suicidle psychotic drunk,
othertimes i am top of the world and looking for love.depending on my mood when i am drinking.
sorry about spelling,
j
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on February 25, 2003, at 16:04:46
In reply to im such a mess?, posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2003, at 14:22:08
> i am on meds-been on something for about a year.
> it is very exhausting to do this day after day.
> any helpful thoughts?
-----------------I don't feel like I'll ever have an uninterrupted streak of good days, but the ones I do get make it worthwhile, in my opinion. You may not be able to do away with all of the disjointed feelings and misery, but you can try to make the most of what happiness you do achieve, and not dwell on the bad times. Not really a solution, but more of an adjustment of expectations and satisfaction. Try to retain curiousity about what might happen tomorrow.
Posted by IsoM on February 25, 2003, at 19:28:39
In reply to im such a mess?, posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2003, at 14:22:08
Do you only feel good when you've been drinking or are there other times, completely sober, that you feel happiness?
I can't speak from your perspective, jutourlaugh, as I have a low tolerance for alcohol. After just one drink, my limbs feel like they've been unscrewed & I'm sleepy. I don't like the effects in the least. But I'm curious to know if you've ever used any groups like AA. Have you talked with anybody there that can give you an idea of why, chemically (not just the psychological part), alcohol does this but not other meds?
I know alcohol is a dis-inhibitor but surely there's something else that could benefit you without alcohol's harmful effects. Hopefully, someone else has been through this & might have some insight to offer. It's far more complex than I know & can only offer sympathy. Still, I'm sure that someone has been there & found something that will help. If alcohol can can loosen whatever holds your natural happiness back, something else can release it too.
I've seen happy "drunks" & I've seen quiet, morose "drunks". The happy ones seem to have a naturally sweeter temperment, while the morose ones were gloomy, not-so-nice people. I don't know if it's true for all, but I'd venture to say there's a gentle, happy person inside you that's being held back for whatever reasons. Does this make sense or am I completely off-base?
Posted by PuraVida on February 25, 2003, at 21:05:56
In reply to Re: im such a mess? » justyourlaugh, posted by IsoM on February 25, 2003, at 19:28:39
Hi JYL,
Yeah - the alcohol thing is so good, and so bad. I've been off drinking for 18 days now - and it has been tough. I've had to deal with my yuck feelings without trying to drink them away. The good thing is that slowly I am making some baby steps toward handling some things that have been bugging me. Check out the book "Responsible Drinking" and www.moderation.org, if you think you might want to see if things get any better without drinking. I'm kinda looking at this like an experiment - not drinking for one month. If it works, then that would be so great, cuz depression is much worse than the high from drinking is good. But if not, at least I'll know... Good luck - and I highly recommend the online community at moderation.org - come and lurk.
PV
Posted by IsoM on February 26, 2003, at 14:35:30
In reply to im such a mess?, posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2003, at 14:22:08
Posted by justyourlaugh on February 26, 2003, at 16:42:09
In reply to Re: im such a mess? » justyourlaugh, posted by IsoM on February 25, 2003, at 19:28:39
hi,
i dont know if i was hurt but i thought about it alot.
i find myself making excuses,,my meds dont work,
anxiety bah blah blah..
i dont drink everyday anymore...i guess i binge now...
sometimes the "up"time that alcohol gives me is worth the crash after..
??thanks for the post ismo..
i have been using these boards to vent(journal)..
it is so wonderful whenpeople respond
jyl
Posted by WorryGirl on February 26, 2003, at 17:34:17
In reply to im such a mess?, posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2003, at 14:22:08
I can relate completely.
My marriage is making me lonelier these days. I'm not a fun person to be around.
Just give me a few drinks, though, and I get rewarded with plenty of laughter, affection, sexuality and compassion. Who wouldn't want to drink when this is the result?
Later, when I'm psycho from my chemically off-balance state, I'm punished for being this way. Late night dinners (sans me), no kisses just because, surly attitude with plenty of griping about me (because I'm such a *itch), zero tolerance for me in general unless I'm in complete agreement about everything regardless of my true feelings.
Better to wash myself up sometimes.
Posted by justyourlaugh on February 26, 2003, at 18:35:28
In reply to Re: im such a mess? » justyourlaugh, posted by WorryGirl on February 26, 2003, at 17:34:17
lets swap and see what happens?
mabe they are all idiots?what a tangeled web we weaved
jyl
Posted by IsoM on February 27, 2003, at 0:41:23
In reply to Re: im such a mess?ismo, posted by justyourlaugh on February 26, 2003, at 16:42:09
It's not a situation I'm familiar with but that doesn't mean I don't feel bad for you suffering like this. I just have no words to offer other than sympathy. I'm female & while I listen in sympathy like a woman does, I want to offer encouragment or say something to fix things like guys do. Seriously, is there no one who's been through all this & has some words of hope to offer? I refuse to believe anything is completely hopeless. I'm sort of a cynical optismist.
Posted by PuraVida on February 27, 2003, at 1:16:21
In reply to Re: im such a mess? » justyourlaugh, posted by IsoM on February 27, 2003, at 0:41:23
Well, I am in a major funk - one of the worst in a few years. My main goal each day this week is to not be detructive to myself by eating and drinking too much. Other than that I've done nothing - no work, play, laundry, dishes, returning phone calls to friends or family - nothing but existing and trying to get through this. It sucks.
But, however hopeless I think I feel, I have been going through this for at least 8 years, if not a few other times in my life, and I've always pulled through and had some really great periods, too. I know the proper medication helps for sure: I'm hoping what I changed to last week will kick in soon. If things are really bad to where you can't function, I think you have to make sure you have the right meds.
I do know for a fact that there is a light at the end of the tunnel - the fog does lift, and then you won't even remember what it felt like to feel like you do now. I know, its crazy - since if you're like I feel now you can't remember what it felt like to be confident and hopeful and happy. You can't see the light, but you have to believe its there and keep putting one foot in front of the other. One day, the darkness lessens, and for me it seems as it does I can get to that light and out of the tunnel pretty quickly. Until then, though, its baby steps.
It's certainly not hopeless...and, trying to be an optimist myself, I try to remember that some pretty famous people struggled with depression - Abraham Lincoln and Mike Wallace, for example - and Tipper Gore.
Hang on - I wish I knew the secret to what and how and when, but I only know it will get better -
PVG
> Seriously, is there no one who's been through all this & has some words of hope to offer? I refuse to believe anything is completely hopeless. I'm sort of a cynical optismist.
Posted by PuraVida on February 27, 2003, at 1:22:41
In reply to Re: im such a mess?ismo, posted by justyourlaugh on February 26, 2003, at 16:42:09
JYL - It wouldn't hurt to get your meds checked out. They can poop out...
I find that when I am really, really depressed I tend to disregard the meds as doing anything - I mean that I take all the responsibility for being depressed. "If only I would (you name it) I would get out of this depression" I now know this is a symptom my meds aren't working - because life just isn't that hard if they are, you know? Whats the worst that can happen if you go see the doc?
PVG
> i find myself making excuses,,my meds dont work,
> anxiety bah blah blah..
Posted by Ginjoint on February 28, 2003, at 14:44:08
In reply to im such a mess?, posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2003, at 14:22:08
Hey jyl...
I've used booze to calm myself down (don't let my screen name fool you, I'm now a moderate drinker...well, moderate, but I do feel slightly uncomfortable if I don't have any in the house...a weird thing). But I don't rely on it to cheer myself up. It sounds like it sometimes lets you down, too. I know how exhausting this can be, jyl...been there, bay-beh.
It also sounds like your meds are performing sub-par...you shouldn't need to keep reaching for liquor..maybe it is time to try something new. I hate to think of the exhaustion you are going through. In the meantime, please know that my hand is in yours.
Ginjoint
P.S. I know this sounds totally hokey, but one way I calm down is with a hot bath. It helps me to cry well and then it can soothe me. Not every time, but it can help....please keep posting to the boards, jyl.
Posted by justyourlaugh on February 28, 2003, at 14:58:23
In reply to Re: im such a mess? » justyourlaugh, posted by Ginjoint on February 28, 2003, at 14:44:08
gin,
thankyou for the post..it really helped.
i am trying topamax..now.
i dont feel as hopeless ...
thanks.
jyl
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.