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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 44 to 68 of 68. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2013, at 12:54:17
In reply to Re: Why Babble is in trouble..., posted by Moishe Pipik on August 8, 2013, at 13:52:30
Oddly enough, I saw the civility guidelines in the completely opposite way. Where people who were "different" could come and expect to be treated with respect. And where lack of that respect would not be tolerated.
Posted by HomelyCygnet on August 9, 2013, at 13:02:29
In reply to Re: Why Babble is in trouble..., posted by Dinah on August 9, 2013, at 12:54:17
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2013, at 13:03:42
In reply to lol (nm) » Dinah, posted by HomelyCygnet on August 9, 2013, at 13:02:29
I don't know why you think we're so different.
Cygnet, see thyself.
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2013, at 13:13:53
In reply to Re: lol » HomelyCygnet, posted by Dinah on August 9, 2013, at 13:03:42
I take that back.
We aren't really so alike at all.
Man, I hate hope. Hope hurts.
Posted by HomelyCygnet on August 9, 2013, at 14:20:20
In reply to Re: lol, posted by Dinah on August 9, 2013, at 13:13:53
Posted by HomelyCygnet on August 9, 2013, at 14:23:19
In reply to Re: Why Babble is in trouble..., posted by Moishe Pipik on August 8, 2013, at 13:52:30
Posted by Moishe Pipik on August 9, 2013, at 17:30:36
In reply to Re: Why Babble is in trouble..., posted by Dinah on August 9, 2013, at 12:54:17
> Oddly enough, I saw the civility guidelines in the completely opposite way. Where people who were "different" could come and expect to be treated with respect. And where lack of that respect would not be tolerated.
I suppose that was the GOAL of the guidelines, but it didn't seem to work as well in actual practice. The enforcement devolved to some degree of pettiness, where something that MIGHT be interpreted as offensive got as much attention as something blatantly offensive. Jeez, almost anything can be taken the wrong way. The silly mathematical block calculation formulae added yet another layer of dumb.
People being watched all the time cannot be relaxed, be themselves, be spontaneous, be honest, etc.. The result is a rather sterile and banal forum.
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2013, at 17:33:27
In reply to Re: Why Babble is in trouble... @ Dinah, posted by Moishe Pipik on August 9, 2013, at 17:30:36
Well, I appreciate that you agree that that may have been the goal. I think the world would be a lot nicer if people acknowledged that people can have the same goal, even if they disagree on the best method to achieve it.
Posted by Moishe Pipik on August 9, 2013, at 17:38:19
In reply to Re: Is Babble in trouble?, posted by Poet on August 3, 2013, at 14:54:59
Swimming pools often have shallow and deep ends, and there are often kiddie pools, too.
Maybe PB needs an "Adult section" and a "kiddie pool". If you're not comfortable swimming in the deep end, best you stay in the kiddie pool. If you go into the deep end and get splashed, too bad - you entered at your own risk (and it was posted, too!). And if you go into the kiddie section and pee in the water, you get admonished/blocked (that's posted, as well).
Posted by Moishe Pipik on August 9, 2013, at 17:42:40
In reply to Re: Why Babble is in trouble... @ Dinah » Moishe Pipik, posted by Dinah on August 9, 2013, at 17:33:27
> Well, I appreciate that you agree that that may have been the goal. I think the world would be a lot nicer if people acknowledged that people can have the same goal, even if they disagree on the best method to achieve it.
>
>
I detect an assumption of universal agreement about said goals.
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2013, at 17:46:23
In reply to Re: Why Babble is in trouble... @ Dinah, posted by Moishe Pipik on August 9, 2013, at 17:42:40
> So, we come to a place like Babble, expecting maybe something a little different, where the participants might have a better understanding of what it's like to be treated poorly for no better reason than not being quite like the mainstream.
Sorry, I thought we agreed about the above. Never mind.
Posted by Moishe Pipik on August 9, 2013, at 18:12:47
In reply to Re: Why Babble is in trouble... » Moishe Pipik, posted by Dinah on August 9, 2013, at 17:46:23
> > So, we come to a place like Babble, expecting maybe something a little different, where the participants might have a better understanding of what it's like to be treated poorly for no better reason than not being quite like the mainstream.
>
> Sorry, I thought we agreed about the above. Never mind.
>
>
A simple misunderstanding, as I wasn't sure what you were referring to.
Posted by Homely Cygnet on August 9, 2013, at 19:22:58
In reply to Swimming pools and Babble, posted by Moishe Pipik on August 9, 2013, at 17:38:19
Maybe some of us are just outies in an inny world.
But why do we keep coming back to the Babble Inn?
Repetition compulsion perhaps?
Posted by Moishe Pipik on August 9, 2013, at 19:30:56
In reply to O Mr Pipik the things you say !!!!! » Moishe Pipik, posted by Homely Cygnet on August 9, 2013, at 19:22:58
> Maybe some of us are just outies in an inny world.
>
> But why do we keep coming back to the Babble Inn?
>
> Repetition compulsion perhaps?
>
>For me, it's curiosity, mostly. Now and again, I wonder if Bob or the members have learned anything new.
Posted by Homely Cygnet on August 9, 2013, at 19:46:44
In reply to Re: O Mr Pipik the things you say !!!!!, posted by Moishe Pipik on August 9, 2013, at 19:30:56
And how do you deal with the disappointment?
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 10, 2013, at 4:38:28
In reply to Re: O Mr Pipik the things you say !!!!!, posted by Moishe Pipik on August 9, 2013, at 19:30:56
> I'm sure there are many like me who were ostracized for being "different", starting at a very early age. The "problem" really surfaces when starting school, where compliance, obedience, conformity, etc. are the currency of "success". So, from very early on, we took constant psychological battering by teachers, peers and parents as a result. If we didn't learn to be like "them", we were screwed. Adult life and the working world revealed little more tolerance of "non-compliers" than we experienced earlier in life. The implicit AND explicit message was, "Do it our way, or else!".
>
> So, we come to a place like Babble, expecting maybe something a little different, where the participants might have a better understanding of what it's like to be treated poorly for no better reason than not being quite like the mainstream. Yet, the experience here is no different, and compliance to the likes of political-correctness is vigorously pursued by the administration, as well as many members. The same message as the one we've been endlessly beaten with prevails here: "Do it like the mainstream, or else!".
>
> I made that mistake for much too much of my life - the mistake of believing that there was something terribly wrong with me that wouldn't be fixed unless I could become one of "them". A lifetime of that message exacts its toll, and one would think a purported mental-health support site would understand that. I honestly don't think that Babble supports anything other than the compliance model that has been so damaging in so many ways (remember that the compliant "successful" people are running our government and business and doing a fine job of effing everything up).
>
> "One size fits all" is a horrible maxim for a society, and Babble is no different.> how does PB evolve to become a place where differences are valued, celebrated, shared, learned-from, etc.?
> > Oddly enough, I saw the civility guidelines in the completely opposite way. Where people who were "different" could come and expect to be treated with respect. And where lack of that respect would not be tolerated.
>
> I suppose that was the GOAL of the guidelines, but it didn't seem to work as well in actual practice. The enforcement devolved to some degree of pettiness, where something that MIGHT be interpreted as offensive got as much attention as something blatantly offensive. Jeez, almost anything can be taken the wrong way. The silly mathematical block calculation formulae added yet another layer of dumb.
>
> People being watched all the time cannot be relaxed, be themselves, be spontaneous, be honest, etc.. The result is a rather sterile and banal forum.> > why do we keep coming back to the Babble Inn?
>
> For me, it's curiosity, mostly. Now and again, I wonder if Bob or the members have learned anything new.In what way are you different?
I may have learned to be more accepting of difference. Have you learned to be more accepting of conformity?
Bob
Posted by SLS on August 10, 2013, at 6:49:08
In reply to Re: difference and conformity, posted by Dr. Bob on August 10, 2013, at 4:38:28
> I may have learned to be more accepting of difference. Have you learned to be more accepting of conformity?
Interesting question.
- Scott
Posted by Moishe Pipik on August 10, 2013, at 15:15:08
In reply to Re: O Mr Pipik the things you say !!!!! » Moishe Pipik, posted by Homely Cygnet on August 9, 2013, at 19:46:44
> And how do you deal with the disappointment?
I LOL, as I'm doing now to your funny question....
Posted by Moishe Pipik on August 10, 2013, at 15:17:24
In reply to Re: difference and conformity, posted by Dr. Bob on August 10, 2013, at 4:38:28
> Have you learned to be more accepting of conformity?
>
> BobNot when it does a disservice.
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2013, at 1:44:01
In reply to Re: difference and conformity, posted by Moishe Pipik on August 10, 2013, at 15:17:24
> > Have you learned to be more accepting of conformity?
>
> Not when it does a disservice.Do you feel conforming here would do you a disservice? If so, what kind of disservice?
Bob
Posted by Moishe Pipik on August 11, 2013, at 12:05:37
In reply to Re: difference and conformity, posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2013, at 1:44:01
>
> Do you feel conforming here would do you a disservice? If so, what kind of disservice?
>
> Bob
>
>
Not gonna play your games, Bob. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. AMF
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2013, at 23:56:15
In reply to Re: difference and conformity, posted by Moishe Pipik on August 11, 2013, at 12:05:37
> Not gonna play your games, Bob.
Sorry, maybe it was disrespectful of me to question your dedication to difference.
Bob
Posted by Moishe Pipik on August 13, 2013, at 16:22:39
In reply to Re: difference and conformity, posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2013, at 23:56:15
> > Not gonna play your games, Bob.
>
> Sorry, maybe it was disrespectful of me to question your dedication to difference.
>
> BobSame Emerson quote as I cited in another thread:
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines."
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 13, 2013, at 17:04:33
In reply to Re: difference and conformity » Dr. Bob, posted by Moishe Pipik on August 13, 2013, at 16:22:39
> "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines."
Maybe I was foolish before. Some posters certainly see me as inconsistent now.
Bob
Posted by Moishe Pipik on August 13, 2013, at 18:13:55
In reply to Re: difference and conformity, posted by Dr. Bob on August 13, 2013, at 17:04:33
> > "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines."
>
> Maybe I was foolish before. Some posters certainly see me as inconsistent now.
>
> BobFor clarity sake, I was referring to "conformity", not you. But I salute your consideration of possibilities.
This is the end of the thread.
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