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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 4 to 28 of 28. Go back in thread:
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 14, 2005, at 18:04:01
In reply to Re: Minnie's request to fellow board members (long) » Minnie-Haha, posted by messadivoce on April 14, 2005, at 15:31:27
I really really like what you said, especially:
>
> The longer I'm alive (and I'm only 22) I'm realizing that people are going to get under my skin for the rest of my life. It doesn't matter if I'm in therapy, or taking meds. People IRL don't discriminate on the basis of that, so I have to learn to live with people who don't approach life the same way, as annoying as I may find this.
Lou's posts don't bother me personally, at all.
Quite a few times he's opened up a new way of thinking for me, which I value very much.
The way he codes his posts, I think is clever, that way he said if he needs to quote a post to Dr.Bob, it's easy for him to find the right one.However I know that other people feel attacked when their posts are brought up for scrutiny, especially if it's a situation when it appears the "correctness" of the post takes precedent over the pain they are feeling. I don't know what to do about that. I always feel bad and can understand why they are hurt, but I feel two-faced about it sometimes. It's not meant to be it's just that I really don't know what to think.
There have been one or two *civil* posters here who have really gotten on my nerves, though they may not bother others at all. I don't think it's my right to bring up their posting style for examination and wonder "what to do with them"
I do for the most part think that if it's not getting to Dr. Bob then I should just not read the posts that may irritate me. Something I need to learn to do better I might add.. :(
Posted by 10derHeart on April 14, 2005, at 18:26:10
In reply to Minnie's request to fellow board members (long), posted by Minnie-Haha on April 14, 2005, at 14:37:56
Actually,...I must first admit I am pretty uncomfortable talking about Lou as if he weren't "here." Putting myself in his place to the extent I can, I'm afraid it might feel hurtful to run across this thread. But since it already exists, that can't be helped, so I'll go ahead and comment a little.
I agree with everything messadivoce stated so articulately. Unless someone here truly isn't human, (!) there will come a time where posters, threads, or a combination, will trigger things and cause emotional reactions. It has definitely happened to me. But it's a part of Babble, exactly the way it's a part of RL, and I'm not thinking the answer is to "do something" about them. (Unless they are uncivil, obviously) Lou isn't violating the civility rules, as far as I see.
The only fair, kind and responsible thing I can think of, is essentially to do nothing. I know THAT is not very articulate or helpful but hopefully you get my meaning.
What about addressing some of your concerns directly to Lou? Then he could maybe clarify some things for you, and others could help out if they wanted? Or perhaps Babblemail, if both of you were willing? Those ways seem most appropriate to me.
But, if your goal is just to get Lou to stop posting his own questions, in his style and at his frequency, I'm unsure where that would go. Then again, Lou is a smart guy, often willing to engage in dialog. Maybe some new understanding and accomodations toward each other could result...who knows?!
Posted by 10derHeart on April 14, 2005, at 18:29:03
In reply to Re: Minnie's request to fellow board members (long) » messadivoce, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 14, 2005, at 18:04:01
>>Something I need to learn to do better I might add.. :(
Oh yes, Gabbi, me, too, me, too...I do torture myself sometimes...glad I'm not the only one
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 14, 2005, at 18:55:52
In reply to Minnie's request to fellow board members (long), posted by Minnie-Haha on April 14, 2005, at 14:37:56
> From time to time strong debate arises...
>
> We all registered to use this site and agreed to abide by certain rulesSuch as not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused -- even if strong debate arises.
> Lou's posts are disruptive in their quantity and quality, and constitute a form of badgering
I've asked you to be civil before, so now I’m going to block you from posting for a week.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 14, 2005, at 20:05:04
In reply to Re: Minnie's request to fellow board members (long) » Minnie-Haha, posted by 10derHeart on April 14, 2005, at 18:26:10
> Actually,...I must first admit I am pretty uncomfortable talking about Lou as if he weren't "here." Putting myself in his place to the extent I can, I'm afraid it might feel hurtful to run across this thread. But since it already exists, that can't be helped, so I'll go ahead and comment a little.
Yes I was too, I've mentioned that before when this topic comes up. SORRY LOU!
And thank you 10derHeart for being you, I love reading what you have to say, and learn much, especially from the *way* you respond.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 14, 2005, at 20:56:43
In reply to Re: Minnie's request to fellow board members (long) » 10derHeart, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 14, 2005, at 20:05:04
I have to say it again, because this has happened a few times now. I just can't imagine how crappy it would feel to have my name hauled up on admin inviting people to offer suggestions on how to deal with me. YUCK!
Posted by 10derHeart on April 14, 2005, at 21:40:46
In reply to Yá Know.., posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 14, 2005, at 20:56:43
Yup. Totally yuckky to the max! You are a good champion for Lou and others - I admire that!
I was WAY too easy on that aspect, I know. But I was 99% sure a block was coming oh-so-soon, and it did. So that maybe helps Lou (hope so, Lou)
Just tried to impart some perspective, or peace, or kindness, or something I might have to offer before some folks have to go on a "forced vacation." <sigh> oh well, such is Babbleland.PS - And what you wrote about me above...well, I'm...uhhh..wow. THANK YOU. That means more than you will ever know. I'm still in the learning stages, but have had wonderful teachers here, and a bit in real life. Learned the hard way everyonedoes NOT see stuff as I do, and I'm determined to never forget that! I much appreciate your posting style as well!
PPS - sorry DB, I may be gettin' a bit too dern Social over here on Admin, dang it all :-)
Posted by KaraS on April 15, 2005, at 0:47:20
In reply to Yá Know.., posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 14, 2005, at 20:56:43
> I have to say it again, because this has happened a few times now. I just can't imagine how crappy it would feel to have my name hauled up on admin inviting people to offer suggestions on how to deal with me. YUCK!
>
>He often brings up other people's posts for consideration which has ended up making many of them feel VERY BAD. My opinion is that if he can dish it out, then he ought to be able to take it himself.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 15, 2005, at 1:47:58
In reply to Re: Yá Know.. » Gabbi-x-2, posted by KaraS on April 15, 2005, at 0:47:20
> He often brings up other people's posts for consideration which has ended up making many of them feel VERY BAD. My opinion is that if he can dish it out, then he ought to be able to take it himself.
He does, and I'd mentioned that in my previous post. But to me anyway, it's different, the need to checking different parts of posts to see if they are "ok". I don't see that as 'dishing it out' I think it's a genuine need to know the rules of the board.
Whereas posting about someone in detail, and asking 'what should be done about them?' is to me distinctly more personal. And no matter what negative things have been said to Lou about him as a person, I've never seen him respond in kind.
However hurt is hurt, and that's why in my other post I said sometimes I feel two faced about it because no matter what it's causing pain.
But I don't think two wrongs make a right.
>
>
Posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 10:52:19
In reply to Re: Yá Know.. » Gabbi-x-2, posted by KaraS on April 15, 2005, at 0:47:20
{Sorry Lou - I'm talking about you again}
It has been my observance about the requests that there has never been anything personal about them.
Over time I have noticed that they are just what they say they are - requests on a particular bit of wording as to whether they fall under the guidelines.
I sincerely do *not* think it is to get someone in trouble - it is merely so that Lou can refine in his mind what makes for civility. In other words, I think all he is doing is parsing the language.
Maybe there are a lot of requests, but I've never known them to be argumentative. It's a simple 'is this civil?' and if Dr. Bob says it is then the matter is dropped.
I have had some of mine questioned, but (maybe) because I look at them the way it hasn't bothered me.
But then again - I've just found out that I am brainwashed. <must toe the line. Dr. Bob is king>
grin.
Posted by KaraS on April 15, 2005, at 11:22:00
In reply to Re: Yá Know.. Kara Minnie, posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 10:52:19
> {Sorry Lou - I'm talking about you again}
>
> It has been my observance about the requests that there has never been anything personal about them.
>
> Over time I have noticed that they are just what they say they are - requests on a particular bit of wording as to whether they fall under the guidelines.
>
> I sincerely do *not* think it is to get someone in trouble - it is merely so that Lou can refine in his mind what makes for civility. In other words, I think all he is doing is parsing the language.
>
> Maybe there are a lot of requests, but I've never known them to be argumentative. It's a simple 'is this civil?' and if Dr. Bob says it is then the matter is dropped.
>
> I have had some of mine questioned, but (maybe) because I look at them the way it hasn't bothered me.
>
> But then again - I've just found out that I am brainwashed. <must toe the line. Dr. Bob is king>
>
> grin.
You're absolutely right. I don't think that Lou's posts are meant to hurt anyone... but unfortunately they do. They hurt others because he is focussed on clarification of a point and not on how that request for clarification may make someone else feel.I am sorry for my previous post.
Kara
Posted by 10derHeart on April 15, 2005, at 16:27:06
In reply to Re: Yá Know.. Kara Minnie, posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 10:52:19
>>But then again - I've just found out that I am brainwashed.
Ah well, at least you have a clean mind then. Unlike myself ;-)
<must toe the line. Dr. Bob is king>
Better make that *predator-king* there, missy.
>>grin <<< pretense, pretense, pretense
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 15, 2005, at 17:46:35
In reply to Re: Yá Know.. Kara Minnie » AuntieMel, posted by 10derHeart on April 15, 2005, at 16:27:06
> >>But then again - I've just found out that I am brainwashed.
>
> Ah well, at least you have a clean mind then. Unlike myself ;-)
>
> <must toe the line. Dr. Bob is king>
>
> Better make that *predator-king* there, missy.
>
> >>grin <<< pretense, pretense, pretense
>
You are *BAD* missy..
>
Posted by 10derHeart on April 15, 2005, at 18:32:06
In reply to Re: Yá Know.. Kara Minnie » 10derHeart, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 15, 2005, at 17:46:35
Why, thank you! To the bone, sometimes.
Perhaps I am trying to rid myself of PBC-virgin status....perhaps I shall try even harder...or not.. ;-)
Posted by gardenergirl on April 15, 2005, at 21:33:29
In reply to Re: Yá Know.. Kara Minnie » Gabbi-x-2, posted by 10derHeart on April 15, 2005, at 18:32:06
You know, those of us who are Babble and have been assimilated?
And what color do you suppose the resistance wears? Good to know what's what, you know. ;)
gg
Posted by 10derHeart on April 15, 2005, at 22:17:10
In reply to What color are our uniforms? » 10derHeart, posted by gardenergirl on April 15, 2005, at 21:33:29
Ha ha ha! From this:
What color are our uniforms?.... I thought you meant uniforms for "PBC Virgins" which I suppose might have to be white...?> You know, those of us who are Babble and have been assimilated?
Weeelll....since I'm retired from the USAF, mine Used To Be blue, so I'd prefer maybe something different this time? Perhaps we should research which color represents insincerity and pretension, which are apparently quite important to us?
> And what color do you suppose the resistance wears? Good to know what's what, you know. ;)
Stealing from someone else's idea (Gabbi? Emmy?) but what color is Alien? You know "vs. Predator?"
Posted by gardenergirl on April 16, 2005, at 11:57:59
In reply to Re: What color are our uniforms? » gardenergirl, posted by 10derHeart on April 15, 2005, at 22:17:10
How about we all where a lovely taupe?
:P
gg
Posted by 10derHeart on April 16, 2005, at 15:54:01
In reply to Re: What color are our uniforms? » 10derHeart, posted by gardenergirl on April 16, 2005, at 11:57:59
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 17, 2005, at 12:17:30
In reply to Bleck (nm) » gardenergirl, posted by 10derHeart on April 16, 2005, at 15:54:01
Posted by AuntieMel on April 18, 2005, at 14:39:30
In reply to Re: Yá Know.. Kara Minnie » AuntieMel, posted by KaraS on April 15, 2005, at 11:22:00
Thank you for listening to me an considering another view.
I just keep thinking that as people get to understand that the questions are curiosity instead of accusatory they might not feel attacked by them.
Just as I've also come to know that when Lou asks for a clarification from a poster he really wants to know what was intended before responding. It's like the opposite of jumping to conclusions.
But even then there is a difference between knowing something {head} and *knowing* something {heart} and - for me at least - the second one usually lags far behind the other.
Posted by KaraS on April 18, 2005, at 23:50:44
In reply to Re: Thank you » KaraS, posted by AuntieMel on April 18, 2005, at 14:39:30
> Thank you for listening to me an considering another view.
>
> I just keep thinking that as people get to understand that the questions are curiosity instead of accusatory they might not feel attacked by them.
>
> Just as I've also come to know that when Lou asks for a clarification from a poster he really wants to know what was intended before responding. It's like the opposite of jumping to conclusions.
>
> But even then there is a difference between knowing something {head} and *knowing* something {heart} and - for me at least - the second one usually lags far behind the other.
You're welcome. You'd make a good debater (or is that debator?). I'm too lazy to look it up but you get the point.I think sometimes that my heart knows before my head... or perhaps they're both clueless :-)
Take care,
Kara
Posted by Minnie-Haha on April 22, 2005, at 13:20:25
In reply to Yá Know.., posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 14, 2005, at 20:56:43
> I have to say it again, because this has happened a few times now. I just can't imagine how crappy it would feel to have my name hauled up on admin inviting people to offer suggestions on how to deal with me. YUCK!
I couldn't do anything at the time because I was blocked, but I felt put down when I read this.
I had to screw up a lot of courage to bring up a topic that has upset me for quite a while now. Can you imagine how bad it felt to be berated (I'm not pointing at any particular poster here) for even bringing it up?
FWIW, one of the published topics of this board is "dealing with particular posters." I did a poor job of what I was trying to do, and for that I was properly punished by the moderator. Now I'm wondering if I'm an outsider. It feels like high school all over again.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 22, 2005, at 16:16:17
In reply to Re: Yá Know.., posted by Minnie-Haha on April 22, 2005, at 13:20:25
> > I have to say it again, because this has happened a few times now. I just can't imagine how crappy it would feel to have my name hauled up on admin inviting people to offer suggestions on how to deal with me. YUCK!
>
> I couldn't do anything at the time because I was blocked, but I felt put down when I read this.
>
> I had to screw up a lot of courage to bring up a topic that has upset me for quite a while now. Can you imagine how bad it felt to be berated (I'm not pointing at any particular poster here) for even bringing it up?I do apologize for posting about what you said after you'd been blocked, it was unnecessary and thoughtless. And I'm truly sorry your feelings were hurt after being criticized, but that was also my point. Wouldn't anyone's feelings be hurt?
Posted by Minnie-Haha on April 22, 2005, at 16:27:27
In reply to Re: Yá Know.. » Minnie-Haha, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 22, 2005, at 16:16:17
> I do apologize for posting about what you said after you'd been blocked, it was unnecessary and thoughtless. And I'm truly sorry your feelings were hurt after being criticized, but that was also my point. Wouldn't anyone's feelings be hurt?
Thank you. The possibility of hurting another's feelings was part of the reason it was hard for me to get up the courage to post what I did in the first place. I didn't want to hurt feelings, but I want to protect my own (and I believe others' too).
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 22, 2005, at 17:04:20
In reply to Re: Yá Know.. » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Minnie-Haha on April 22, 2005, at 16:27:27
> > I do apologize for posting about what you said after you'd been blocked, it was unnecessary and thoughtless. And I'm truly sorry your feelings were hurt after being criticized, but that was also my point. Wouldn't anyone's feelings be hurt?
>
> Thank you. The possibility of hurting another's feelings was part of the reason it was hard for me to get up the courage to post what I did in the first place. I didn't want to hurt feelings, but I want to protect my own (and I believe others' too).Yes I know there are other too, it's hard :(
Thanks for explaining.
This is the end of the thread.
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