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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 15, 2007, at 21:47:05
my writing was pretty crappy today.
I'm terrified that I don't have what it takes to get this project done. I've got drafts of about 50% and I still have data analysis to do and I'm freaking out that I've made myself an unreasonable deadline. What if I don't finish my draft? What if it's a sloppy piece of sh*t when I give it to my advisor.so scared.
I woke up at 2 in the am yesterday and worked from 2 -5 am, slept until 9, and then worked again for a few hours in the afternoon.
My thoughts seem to be a "blooming buzzing confusion" and that's scary to me.
I wish my mind were a single linear thread sometimes, and that I could just grab that thread and wrestle it and staple it down on the page in neat row after row of formatted text. Instead, I find myself rambling on and on, saying the same thing 10 times in a row, or writing in an ever increasing spiral, away from the very theme at the core of my argument.
What am I afraid of
not being done on deadline
sloppiness and disapproval of my advisor
disappointing my "fan" who has been an advocate for my research and helped arrange my prestigious fellowship this past year.what if I Phail?
what if I Phlounder?okay. now time for more affirmations
must turn these negative thoughts around in time for bed
I have never missed a deadline in my entire life. This will be no different. It's just a string of 10 page papers. I've written multiple 10 page papers in a week before. this one will be a collection of 10 page chapters organized around my theme.
I know this stuffph better than anyone else in the entire world.
I can convey that I know this stuff better than anyone else in the whole wide world.
my mom can help with editing. if I let her.
babble can help with venting, if I let it
my T is on vacation, but when she comes back, I will have a draft of sorts
my sleeping pill is kicking in. I'm feeling woozy. that's a good sign.
now I lay me down to sleep... etc
-Ll
Posted by Gee on March 16, 2007, at 11:51:01
In reply to terrified, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 15, 2007, at 21:47:05
I totally understand the fear. Tho, mine isn't quite at the same level, I understand why you're afraid. Deadlines are icky. But YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!
Posted by Poet on March 16, 2007, at 13:55:30
In reply to terrified, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 15, 2007, at 21:47:05
Hi Li,
I'm with Gee, you can do it, you will do it and when it's done you'll realize you did a kick a** job.
Poet
Posted by madeline on March 16, 2007, at 16:32:16
In reply to terrified, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 15, 2007, at 21:47:05
My dissertation was the hardest thing I ever put together.
One lesson I learned was, don't think just work.
Try to remember why you picked this research project and find the interest again that brought you to it.
You can finish it. You can do it.
Don't think, just work.
Posted by Happyflower on March 17, 2007, at 15:28:24
In reply to terrified, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 15, 2007, at 21:47:05
Hi Llurpsie,
How's it going? Are you writing full steam ahead like the Little Engine Who Could? YOu have a good plan, it is okay if you have a off week or day, you can do it!
By the way I just joined Weight Watchers, so the almond crecents will have to wait for awhile! LOL
I am trying to drink healthier stuff, I bought some green tea with mint. I am going to try it right now. I really stuggle with drinking green tea because it tastes like grass to me. So hopefully the mint will help. I can't wait until this summer when my mint plants come up, ( have applemint, chocolatemint, regularmint,lemon mint plants etc. and then I can make some good tea. I like my herbs! LOL
I hope all is well, I hope we can talk soon.
Love,
Happyflower
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 17, 2007, at 17:07:13
In reply to Re: terrified, posted by Happyflower on March 17, 2007, at 15:28:24
I only feel terrified when I'm not working on it. So long as I'm working I feel okay, even satisfied.
But as soon as I take a break, even for meals or to get nighttime sleep: waves of terror.
really really horrible.
But I like Maddie's advice. don't think just work.
I like having page after page completed. Especially when the page contains a graphic. Then it's not really all that much text.
back to work back to work.
pdoc upped my klonopin. I'm doing a really delicate dance right now between being oversedated and being over-terrified.
Happyf, I saw the dietician last week to get 20lbs of seroquel blubber offa me. So, I feel your pain. that almond croissant would pretty much be half of my daily food. which is fine if I'm a bird. but I'm not!
meanwhile I've been eating a lot of vegetables. my personal chef (ahem) husband has been cooking every day for his DP. That's "Dissertation Princess".
My draft is due in two weeks. I've got a plan to get it done. I scheduled in some breaks, but that's usually when I feel the worst about myself and my progress.
I scheduled a massage for next Friday. 1 hour. That will be nice to look forward to.
I better skedaddle,
Ll
Posted by philyra on March 17, 2007, at 21:52:35
In reply to reply to all » Happyflower, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 17, 2007, at 17:07:13
This is the end of the thread.
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