Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 21, 2014, at 19:19:14
I got my period. Well... A few days ago. So now it is nearly finished. But that's not the point. And I saw a cockroach this morning. It is underneath my cutlery tray. I don't have any bug spray and I don't have any money to get some until tomorrow. I can't really figure what to squash it with... Because you have to squash them pretty hard... And you aren't supposed to squash them anyway because it might be a female one and the eggs might still hatch. So I guess it will just have to stay there until tomorrow. I'll get some spray... And a bait trap or two, I guess.
They climb around through the water pipes. I don't think the nest is in my room. I suppose it could be behind the fridge... That is the only place it could be, really. Maybe there is a nest behind my fridge... Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I saw one last week... By the sink... So I think they are climbing out from the water pipes... Maybe I'll leave the plug in the sink at night...
I went off a bit that they don't bomb the place twice a year or whatever. They said there wasn't much of anything they could do. Unless the nest is in my room or whatever, of course. I'm not too freaked out by them... Got them quite a lot in my place in hamilton... Big freaky ones that lived in the conifer trees outside mostly... They would climb in the windows and run around on the wooden ceiling beams and drop in my hair when I was vacuuming... But these are little German ones... Or something... And I bet these ones live in peoples rubbish bins. Or peoples toaster crumb trays. Or both.
I'm fighting off being sick. I bet I'm allergic to cockroaches. I bet that is it.
Been feeling moody...
Math is getting harder. And I feel pretty annoyed / frustrated that it is so hard already.
Because... It is embarrassing to me that I'm only into year 5. I mean... I haven't even finished primary school...
And I'm feeling fragile about my thesis... And philosophy more generally... Emails are coming out... People are... Starting to advertise for PhD applicants to work on various projects the way that they advertise for post-docs to work on various projects. That is of course the way science has done it for ages. I just got to be in an unfortunate part of the transition where... Nobody made those expectations clear to me. Or... Where I wasn't really competent to pick up on anybodies project, really. Or... whatever. whatever. I don't know. I'm tired of looking at the whole 'why i bombed out' thing. Seeing the things that people get through... Knowing... everybody saying... It really is not supposed to be that hard. Really. It isn't. Me... getting less than PhD student scholarships, even. what the f*ck happened with me? whatever... whatever... nothing to be done now.
and tomorrow i've got that sh*tty test that i won't even really be able to do anything of. and... well... who knows what will become of me.
worst case: they take my money, give me B-'s and... spit me out the other end in 3 years.
i don't feel very well.
Posted by baseball55 on January 21, 2014, at 19:45:53
In reply to I don't feel very well., posted by alexandra_k on January 21, 2014, at 19:19:14
I guess this suggestion is maybe too late, since you have the test soon. But have you considered finding a math tutor? I tutored math when I was in college. Math is very hard to learn on your own. It's like trying to learn to speak a foreign language without anyone to speak to.
Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2014, at 9:25:59
In reply to Re: I don't feel very well., posted by baseball55 on January 21, 2014, at 19:45:53
Math to me is horrible. As it makes no sense other than simple addition and subtraction where you can actually see the process of adding something or taking something away. I need to see or hear things to learn and they must make sense. Like simple algebra even makes no sense. I got an A but I didn't think of what I was doing just did what told and didn't think if that makes sense. If I can picture it in my head then can do it. Like take a pill give a third. Well I can see this. Phillipa
Posted by baseball55 on January 22, 2014, at 20:10:46
In reply to Re: I don't feel very well. » baseball55, posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2014, at 9:25:59
I think math is not for everyone. Like music or visual arts, some people have a knack for it and others. don't. I loved math. Algebra, geometry, trigonometry, precalculus, calculus, statistics, on and on. I didn't major in math in college, but accumulated almost enough credits for a double major.
But math is like music or a foreign language. Use it or lose it. I can barely remember most math now, just as I've forgotten how to read the bass clef. Math is like music and languages in another way as well - the brain is primed to learn it at a certain age. People tend to master math in their teens and twenties -- also music and languages. After that, you can learn it, but it's hard to retain what you learn unless you're using it day after day.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2014, at 1:39:54
In reply to Re: I don't feel very well. » Phillipa, posted by baseball55 on January 22, 2014, at 20:10:46
i guess i think that sometime people just sort of naturally click with things... like how i just naturally clicked with books... but that other times people just need a bit of a hand up to get things to click. i do remember liking those little logic puzzles... i just forgot that those were math. and i like shape stuff... i guess more recently... seeing how complicated anatomy was... how... irregular... a-symmetric... how different each vertebrae was from each other... how the 9 real scapulae were quite different in size and with differently prominent points... the individual variation...
i used to love poetry... even more once i studied it. after the teacher talked through the themes and images and the use of metaphor etc etc etc. i appreciate art more after reading something of what curators and artists and critics have to say about it. i mean... i don't think any of their voices authorative... but they give me material... and i can use all of that... along with the work... to come to my own considered view. it took me a while to see that art... was like that. it was something that naturally clicked to me for poems...
i never got how music was math before. i can read music a little... i never really got how math was.... tempo... timing... i still don't know that i get that entirely... but somewhat. counting in threes... counting in fours... different tempos...
i think... math is a bit of a tool. there are equations that are useful for different things. and sometimes people learn how to plug and chug those for whatever ends... like.. calculating BMI. or whatever. nutritional requirements. then if you ask 'does it have to be done like that - what if i do it like this, is this equivalent?' they give you blank stares... because they don't know... they just do what they are told...
the hotel questions freak me out. because you have to guess. then you adjust things. but it is scary just throwing that guess out there in the first place. what is even scarier... is that i'm getting quite good at guessing right. pick 2 numbers with 5 difference between them that total x amount -- i'm getting fairly good at those. to my surprise.
practice practice practice...
it is a bit controversial (child savants for music and math are typically thought to be exception) but 100,000 hours to expertise. i think people often underestimate... what introverts may get up to with their minds when they are left to their own devices. i wonder what is going on in my mind when i wake up thinking about 4x6...
i have started asking people about math. it is a common thing... mathemeticians are are thought to peak early. significant discovery by 24 or... go do something else. perhaps philosophy?? (philosophers peak late. typically just before senility / death / dementia). why is this???? people go from math to philosophy. people (other than me) do not typically go from philosophy into math. why is that??? maybe my math brain will peak later because i started later. i didn't quite appreciate... the reason why... is because of how sequential it is.
because... one has to start a-f*ck*ng-gain.
how many people are prepared to... do kindy sums???
80 hours of practice logged...
what will become of me?
This is the end of the thread.
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