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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 54. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 9:11:24
I want to kill myself today
I can't handle anymore of "life"
I was eating cereal this morning, and one of my teeth broke. It already has a big filling/partial crown in it. I guess it was weak because of the filling.Now it's scratchy, and I'm worried about eating anything that requires chewing.
I can't go to the dentist. I can't undergo more treatment on this tooth. It's already had filling then root canal then crown. Can't do it. Can't bear it.
It's over. That's the last straw. I got up at 7thirty, ate my cereal. broke the tooth, and I'm just like the dog in the learned helplessness experiments. I just lay down in bed for another hour. I'm going back now too.
Can't shake the depression this time. It's over
Posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 9:15:38
In reply to It's over *trigger*, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 9:11:24
Need courage to call for help.
I'm going to rest and see if I can get some courage.
Rest.
need help.
Posted by AuntieMel on June 17, 2006, at 9:56:48
In reply to Re: It's over *trigger*, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 9:15:38
I really do hate when something happens to a tooth. It's a symbolic feeling for the whole body going down the tubes.
You can melt some wax and form it over the tooth to get rid of the scratchiness.
Now = enough with the practical advice.
Here comes the nice stuff............
I know it's rough, but you really have so much to give others. You are a good person, everyone wants you to be ok.
PLEASE take care of yourself. Call for help if you need it. Babblemail me if you want, but I am not always by my email, so real life help is more important.
Rest - curl up with a book, take a warm soak, do good for yourself. You deserve it.
But DO call for help if you need it.
Posted by rainbutterfly on June 17, 2006, at 10:06:57
In reply to It's over *trigger*, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 9:11:24
Hey ll,
I am still very new and have been hiding mostly but please hang in there, it won't always be this bad.... I've been reading your posts and I have a good feeling that you can get through this! If I can get through it then you can! Please do call for help if you need to (I hate doing that too, hate asking for help) and I am here, as so many are,rainbutterfly
Posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 10:56:22
In reply to Re: It's over *trigger*, posted by rainbutterfly on June 17, 2006, at 10:06:57
thank you Auntie and butterfly
I cancelled all my engagements for the day
gonna take it easy, lie in a dark place
avoid stress, wallow extensively
thanks for the wax tip
tooth is starting to hurt now
maybe i'll go buy a bottle of wine later on
or some bailey's
smoothie
something that's liquid, and comfort food. I hate myself. so lardy. so lazy. so impossible to soothe.
gonna have to find a way to cross streets without waiting for a big truck or a bus to hit me. gonna have to find a way to buy things at the store that can't be used for malicious purposes.
going back to bed now. 3rd time.
Posted by fallsfall on June 17, 2006, at 12:06:43
In reply to the plan is no plans *trigger*, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 10:56:22
Bed is safe. Safe is good.
Call your friend and ask her to bring Ben & Jerry's. (Are you getting the impression that I'm obsessed with ice cream?) Tell her that you only want her to stay for 15 minutes. Just long enough to eat some ice cream with you.
I would bring you some, but I'm too far away.
Please keep yourself safe. It is a good thing to be aware that you are seeking danger. That will help you to be extra careful.
I don't know much about teeth. I avoid my dentist, myself. But if it is hurting, then you might do better to get it looked at. Can you bring your friend with you? You don't have to do it now. Maybe just consider it for the future.
Be good to yourself. This includes not pushing yourself past what you can do. It is OK to take some time off, as long as you are safe.
(((((llrrrpp)))))
Posted by AuntieMel on June 17, 2006, at 13:02:07
In reply to Re: the plan is no plans *trigger* » llrrrpp, posted by fallsfall on June 17, 2006, at 12:06:43
I've said it before and I'll say it again.
It's ok to wallow. You can't move up unless there's a down to move up from.
(one of my favorite sayings)
Posted by Phillipa on June 17, 2006, at 13:15:33
In reply to Re: sometimes wallowing is good » fallsfall, posted by AuntieMel on June 17, 2006, at 13:02:07
I agree with the resting when you wake up you may feel differently. Maybe you're overtired too. Love Phillipa
Posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 13:52:35
In reply to Re: the plan is no plans *trigger* » llrrrpp, posted by fallsfall on June 17, 2006, at 12:06:43
> Bed is safe. Safe is good.
>
> Call your friend and ask her to bring Ben & Jerry's. (Are you getting the impression that I'm obsessed with ice cream?) Tell her that you only want her to stay for 15 minutes. Just long enough to eat some ice cream with you.
>
> I would bring you some, but I'm too far away.
>I should start a delivery business.
"Depressed Housewives"
Fresh flower arrangements
Pints of ice cream
dry cleaning pick up and drop-off (including hanging in up in the closet for you)
Belgian Chocolate
(wine and beer)
Pharmaceuticals
French cosmetics (they'll run a hot bath with lavender and light a candle for you)
DVD's of romantic comedies and Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2
Dinner from your favorite restaurant (and they'll do some dishes for you too)
Posted by Deneb on June 17, 2006, at 14:32:43
In reply to It's over *trigger*, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 9:11:24
(((((((((((((((((llrrrpp)))))))))))))))))
Please stay safe. I would miss you a lot if you died. Teeth are replaceable, you are not.
I remember when I was feeling like you are now. It will pass. You won't feel this way forever.
(((((((((((((((((llrrrpp))))))))))))))))))
Deneb*
Posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 15:11:24
In reply to Depressed Housewives Delivery Service, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 13:52:35
I'm feeling a little better now.
Still feel very much depressed, but I have a little energy. better use it while I got it.Going to go get some depression "supplies"
sorbet
baileys
trashy tabloid mag
little water
flowers?
frappucino?noticable absence of
items of malicious intent, including sharp things, poisonous things and suffocating things. decided to walk, and take transit. Fear that taking bike in traffic out could lead to "accident".I will only buy happy-making or numb-making things.
saving my vicodin pill (got one left) for after the dentist trip. I'll try to sch. appt for next week, early. That will be good motivation. Not matter how bad it gets. I have a vicodin for afterwards. only one, not enough to get into any trouble, just enough to make me sleepy and untroubled. Dentist is nice. African American woman, very kind, old-fashioned practice with focus on "care" rather than technology and billing. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
Thanks for hugginess.
lurpsie the Great
Posted by Tabitha on June 17, 2006, at 16:00:57
In reply to Re: Depressed Housewives Delivery Service, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 15:11:24
> I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
>Yes you can, llrrppp. You're doing good things to take care of yourself. Poor tooth :-( but it can be fixed. (((LLLrrrpppp))))
Posted by ClearSkies on June 17, 2006, at 16:04:39
In reply to Re: Depressed Housewives Delivery Service, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 15:11:24
I would like to sign up for the service.
I am so sorry that your tooth sent you tumbling. I can totally relate, especially since the root canal and crown weren't free. When that happened to me, I ended up with a bridge - which is a crown on either side of where the tooth was and the pontic is a fake tooth. I, er, have several of these.
Another option would be an implant. My sister had one of those done when her tooth destructed itself. About the same cost as a bridge.Take care, Llrrrpp! You are a precious person!
ClearSkies
Posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 16:45:08
In reply to Re: Depressed Housewives Delivery Service » llrrrpp, posted by ClearSkies on June 17, 2006, at 16:04:39
Regarding tooth:
I have had many procedures on my poor teeth. They are "developmentally delayed" I once had a root canal that lasted 6 hours. Multiple oral surgeries, most of my major molars with complicated fillings. lucky me.I know what the options are. I'm pretty young. I think I would prefer an implant if they can't use what little tooth is left to attach a crown. dentist is out of town until Tuesday. I did call and leave a message.
Regarding depression:
Feeling quite rotten. The anxious/antsy kind of depression where everything is a trigger. My roommate has moved back in for the summer. she moved back in about 3 days ago. she's nice. unobtrusive, cheerful, good manners, easy. She asked me if I'm seeing a psychologist. I didn't say anything to her. (maybe my husband asked her to keep an eye on me? He's in the military and is based out of state)Regarding ice cream:
It's in the 90s today. I made it to the grocery store. bought two exotic international liquers. splurge. didn't know they sold them here. one italian (limoncello) and one South African (Amaranth? cream). Imagine my delight when I went to the ice cream section and found HaagenD. on sale 2for 5dollars. bought sorbet (raspberry, peach, lemon, mango) and frozen yogurt (coffee, dulce de leche) not much of an ice cream person.I also got some yogurt smoothies, since I can't chew too well.
i'm going to be okay for the next few hours. gonna be okay. I think I can keep myself functioning for at least 2-3more hours. I can do it.
Posted by Racer on June 17, 2006, at 17:18:48
In reply to Re: Depressed Housewives Delivery Service, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 15:11:24
> >
> saving my vicodin pill (got one left) for after the dentist trip. I'll try to sch. appt for next week, early. That will be good motivation. Not matter how bad it gets. I have a vicodin for afterwards. only one, not enough to get into any trouble, just enough to make me sleepy and untroubled. Dentist is nice. African American woman, very kind, old-fashioned practice with focus on "care" rather than technology and billing. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
>
>I adore my dentist, too, for what's probably the same reason. He's a Healer, not a Scientist. And he always writes a prescription for pain killers after a big deal thing. (And most of the pain killers won't do much damage to you. You really won't get in trouble with them, if you're thinking what I think you're thinking...)
And I'm another with Very Bad Teeth. I think every one of my molars has split along what are supposed to be the fuse lines. {sigh} And I had a molar break UNDER a crown! You know what I was eating when it happened? A piece of pasta. Well cooked pasta. I think it would have gone from cream of wheat at that point, but it still felt yucky.
I'm sorry you're hurting Ms Lurp, and hope that you find yourself soothed soon.
Posted by curtm on June 17, 2006, at 17:26:05
In reply to Depressed Housewives Delivery Service, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 13:52:35
Can I order beer from Depressed Housewives, Inc. if I am not a housewife? I could always disguise my voice and dress up in order to qualify for the delivery service. Does it come with hugs?
I hope your day goes better sweetie pie. I really do.
(((llrrrpp)))
Posted by corafree on June 17, 2006, at 17:45:12
In reply to It's over *trigger*, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 9:11:24
I'm so sorry about your tooth Llrrrpp :( :( !
I came over to social and find you feeling like I feel this weekend.
I know you probably don't want to hear how much you do for others, but you were/are there for me.
I'm thinking you're feeling 'shortchanged' and and am reminding you ... that's 'totally understandable!' It isn't fair and it really suc*s! BUT, I think, ... these things you do for others (And, you do a lot.) & finding patience to get through these trials (You reach out and that's an example of courage. In your heart; you know it is.) will return to you in some well-deserved happiness.
My computer sounds like it's gonna' blow again, so need shutdown. Goin' to relax in my corner. I need you. Be safe pls.
love, cf
ps I wanted to be a jock, but closed my eyes everytime I saw a ball coming at me, so was a cheerleader instead :}
Posted by AuntieMel on June 17, 2006, at 17:47:35
In reply to Depressed Housewives Delivery Service, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 13:52:35
Posted by Deneb on June 17, 2006, at 17:49:19
In reply to Re: I *love* Kill Bill (nm) » llrrrpp, posted by AuntieMel on June 17, 2006, at 17:47:35
Posted by corafree on June 17, 2006, at 18:02:30
In reply to Depressed Housewives Delivery Service, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 13:52:35
LOL again!!
I have practically all those things in 'my corner'!! How did you know?? (I'm missing the Kill Bill video tho'! Good idea!)
I've got a small lamp w/ black shade and a small nightlight-size pink bulb in it .. creates a soothing atmosphere :}
I could call my rainydayman to bring me some B&J NY choc chunk fudge!
Be safe and warm.
cf
Posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 18:03:57
In reply to Do I have to wear a costume? » llrrrpp, posted by curtm on June 17, 2006, at 17:26:05
> Can I order beer from Depressed Housewives, Inc. if I am not a housewife? I could always disguise my voice and dress up in order to qualify for the delivery service. Does it come with hugs?
>
Yes, beer, wine, and cosmopolitans are on the menu. If you have enough wherewithall to cross-dress in order to obtain delivery, you might not qualify as "depressed" per se, even if you *did* make a handsome woman. I'm sure we could make exception though, as long as you tip well, and do a drag show for the deliveryperson, perhaps to the tune of "Safety Dance"?In fact. That sounds like it might be a good act to include on the menu of services too.
ice cream
flowers
beer/wine/cosmos/
transvestite comedy show/
bubble bathsetc
other suggestions?> I hope your day goes better sweetie pie. I really do.
>
> (((llrrrpp)))thanks ((((curt))))
I'm gonna be okay. I'm gonna be okay. got 4 more hours before bedtime. I can make it.
Posted by MidnightBlue on June 17, 2006, at 19:14:12
In reply to Re: Do I have to wear a costume?, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 18:03:57
Could we add.....
cheesecake with fresh fruit
watermelon (already cut and seedless)
fresh cherries
ice cream sundaes (any kind)
popcorn
milkshakes and malts
MB
Posted by corafree on June 17, 2006, at 19:24:48
In reply to Re: Do I have to wear a costume?, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 18:03:57
<other suggestions?>
Ear plugs (about 29 decibels) to drown out the aggravating sound of laughter you're sure is at your expense.
Small clock turned facing the wall to tell you what time it isn't.
Silk pillowcases to diminish 'my hair looks like a mini-blind cleaner' thoughts.
cf
Posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 19:29:31
In reply to It's over *trigger*, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 9:11:24
My tooth broke a couple of weeks ago too! I'm the same with the teeth thing, every molar has a crown! It's weird how tooth problems can get you down, but I totally understand. I have an appointment Tuesday to get the crown put on (it has a temporary one now). Can't say I'm looking forward to it, but I'll feel better once its done. Oh, and they have temporary fixes at the drug store, some sort of putty or something to put on it and its supposed to stay. I haven't tried it, but when I saw it I made a mental note of it for 'next time'.
I noticed in another post how depressed you were feeling. It sounded all too familiar to me. There are certain times when it's difficult for me to respond to posts that remind me so much of myself. I have to wait until I'm in a better place. But it doesn't mean I don't care! I hope you know that in the short time you've been here you've been very encourging to me. I think we're kind of on the same wave length.
Are you taking meds? Although I've done ALOT of hard work on myself mentally (and still am), I would've never been able to do it without Prozac. My depression is a physical thing that no amount of therapy can correct alone. I have to have the meds to live. Once the meds have fixed the chemical thing going on, THEN I'm able to start working on the mental stuff. Meds definately don't do everything, but they make me able to at least have a shot at getting better.
Please keep in touch and let us know how you're doing. There are lots of people here who care about you.
-T
Posted by corafree on June 17, 2006, at 19:53:14
In reply to Oh lurpsie! » llrrrpp, posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 19:29:31
TexasChic would you please share how many mgs of Prozac you're on and if it is or is not extended release?
I ask because I've reacted to another psych med which is available in both forms, extended/slow v. NOT, very differently. Pls babble if like and have time.
I wish I had my computer on separate phone line.
It's not even 6p here; seems a lot of babblers are to my east.
tks, cf
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