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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by saturn on May 29, 2006, at 19:23:37
My uncle recently passed away. I am not sure what to say to his children/my cousins at the funeral---Do I say that I'm sorry for *their* loss?I'm concerned this may sound as if I do not personally feel his passing as a loss to myself, which of course I do. It is a greater loss for them, however. I want to express my empathy for them without sounding detached from the pain myself.
Posted by Dinah on May 29, 2006, at 21:08:43
In reply to funeral ettiquette, posted by saturn on May 29, 2006, at 19:23:37
How about leaving it at "I'm so sorry" and going on to express something positive about him. Like "I've always admired the relationship he had with his kids" or "We always had so much fun together" or whatever happens to be true.
I'm sorry for *your* loss.
Posted by saturn on May 30, 2006, at 19:03:32
In reply to Re: funeral ettiquette » saturn, posted by Dinah on May 29, 2006, at 21:08:43
Posted by TexasChic on June 1, 2006, at 21:35:29
In reply to Re: funeral ettiquette » saturn, posted by Dinah on May 29, 2006, at 21:08:43
I think when you say you're sorry for their loss, you're not excluding your own loss. You're just letting them know you're sorry for theirs. And if they were very close to the departed, they will probably only hear it in a fog anyway. I think the most important support is afterwards, when they're alone and it all sinks in. Then offering to help with stuff that is probably hard for them to concentrate on is good, like cooking and cleaning, thank you notes, helping with the kids, stuff like that. And just leaving them alone if that's what they really want (as long as you eventually check in as unobtrusively as possible).
-T
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