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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 40. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by RoxyG on April 19, 2003, at 20:48:39
i found this when i was doing some drug research on the net. i am not doing well and i am looking for some support. i feel really sad, i'm on meds, but i wish things were different. i think i am the only person who feels so alone, yest i need to set boundaries. can someoine give me any input? i am really at my wits end here. excuse my writing, i hav e been crying all day i just can't stop.roxy
Posted by Kar on April 19, 2003, at 21:28:51
In reply to hi, posted by RoxyG on April 19, 2003, at 20:48:39
hi Roxy. And welcome. That's how I found this site too. Don't be discouraged if there aren't that many posts tonight in response to you ok? it seems to be a slow night. Maybe the holiday or something. You've come to the right place for support. There are tons of people here who understand how you must be feeling and also many know 1st hand what you're going through. I think you'll find that as you read more here, you'll realize that you aren't the only one who feels alone at all. With my depression, I can feel alone in a crowd of loving people. It's the nature of it.
Sorry you've had such an awful day...can you tell us more so we can help?
Again, welcome to the board!
Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2003, at 21:47:50
In reply to hi, posted by RoxyG on April 19, 2003, at 20:48:39
Hi Roxy. Nice to meet you.
Sorry to hear you're not doing well. Would you like to talk about it?
Posted by RoxyG on April 19, 2003, at 21:59:04
In reply to Re: hi » RoxyG, posted by Kar on April 19, 2003, at 21:28:51
I am thinking about suicide, i feel like a loser, and i truly believe that i was not meant to be here. sometimes i want to cooperate with those who want to help me, but then sometimes i don't want to talk to qnyone. i have been through a lot and maybe less or more than others, but for me, i really cannot take it anymore. i am lonely-really lonely, and i am just so tired of trying. that's all i can write for now i'm willing to listen to anyone who may have related, i just cannot go on, i hurt really, really, really bad and it hurts to hurt> hi Roxy. And welcome. That's how I found this site too. Don't be discouraged if there aren't that many posts tonight in response to you ok? it seems to be a slow night. Maybe the holiday or something. You've come to the right place for support. There are tons of people here who understand how you must be feeling and also many know 1st hand what you're going through. I think you'll find that as you read more here, you'll realize that you aren't the only one who feels alone at all. With my depression, I can feel alone in a crowd of loving people. It's the nature of it.
>
> Sorry you've had such an awful day...can you tell us more so we can help?
> Again, welcome to the board!
>
>
Posted by jane d on April 19, 2003, at 22:43:36
In reply to Here it is, posted by RoxyG on April 19, 2003, at 21:59:04
Hi Roxy and Welcome. This is a good bunch of people. When I first found this site I think I spent several days reading it non stop amazed to find other people who had felt the same things I had. I still am amazed at times. And I only found this site after I was partly recovered. I still wonder what it would have been like if this site had existed when I was much worse. Your description reminds me so much of the way I felt then when there didn't seem to be room for any feelings or thoughts but how much it hurt. And, of course, I was certain that it would never end. Only for me you understand. I knew that other people had felt this way and recovered and that other people had a place in the world even if they didn't recognize it but I was absolutely completely sure that I did not. And years later I learned that many of the other posters had that same certainty about themselves. I would like you to know that the feelings you have now do end even if that seems hard to believe. You can actually reach a point where those horrible feelings are so far behind you that they almost seem unreal. For me drugs and time were the magic formula. I'm not sure exactly what else to write to you. I'm not that good with words to begin with and at the time I felt like you did I was even worse. It felt like I couldn't even think a complete thought. You said you found this site looking for medication information. Are you currently taking any? They really can be a miracle. Again, welcome, and keep posting.
Jane
Posted by kara lynne on April 20, 2003, at 0:02:01
In reply to Re: Here it is » RoxyG, posted by jane d on April 19, 2003, at 22:43:36
I know I can relate to such painful loneliness. I just want to send you a little more love to help get you through the night. Kara Lynne
Posted by RoxyG on April 20, 2003, at 0:17:53
In reply to HI Roxy, posted by kara lynne on April 20, 2003, at 0:02:01
thank you, i really needed that. i'm going to sleep now, maybe tomorrow will be a better day. when i saw the word love-i felt better-i just feel that i'm hard to love right now, and it hasn't always been thqt way.
> I know I can relate to such painful loneliness. I just want to send you a little more love to help get you through the night. Kara Lynne
Posted by leeran on April 20, 2003, at 0:52:04
In reply to Here it is, posted by RoxyG on April 19, 2003, at 21:59:04
Roxy,
I remember one "dark" night in particular, and although it's been about four years ago it is still easy to vividly recall many of the feelings you related in your post.
Since reading your post I've been thinking about that line from an old sixties song: "The darkest hour is just before dawn." Although it sounds like such a cliché it can be so true. During those dark moments it's so hard to forget that, metaphorically speaking, the sun will come up again. Maybe not tomorrow morning, or the next day – BUT IT WILL HAPPEN.
I'm very new here, but I'm willing to bet that anyone who posts here, who has been in the darkness (myself VERY much included) can relate to what you're feeling.
Not long ago, on the meds board, I read something from a poster that I copied and pasted for “future reference.” I hope it helps just a little:
“Keep going . . . because if you don't, you'll never know how good things might have turned out.”
This is so very true.
That night, four years ago I didn’t have any idea of how good things would turn out. All I wanted was everything to fade to black, because if I was lucky, that blackness might obliterate the pain.
Now, I realize that those feelings were “the depression talking.”
There’s a good article on the internet that compares depression to a garbage truck that sets up household in our minds . . . a garbage truck that dumps out all kinds of feelings of remorse, self-recrimination, guilt, you name it. It’s like our minds temporarily turn against us; kind of a cruel joke referred to as a chemical imbalance.
Kara Lynne is so right. The loneliness is painful beyond words. But you’ve come to the right place. Like Kara Lynne, I’m sending my love your way as well. Hang in there, friend.
Lee
Posted by Dinah on April 20, 2003, at 13:29:50
In reply to hi, posted by RoxyG on April 19, 2003, at 20:48:39
How are you this morning?
Posted by whiterabbit on April 20, 2003, at 15:14:31
In reply to Re: Morning » RoxyG, posted by Dinah on April 20, 2003, at 13:29:50
I've posted here from Hell on many occasions and I'm very thankful for all the caring and support I've recieved over the years.
I would caution you, if you're posting on PB, not to take medication advice too literally. Different drugs and drug combinations work for different people. For instance, I had a bad experience with Depakote, but I (now) realize that this is a proven and effective mood stabalizer for many people, and I would not presume to warn others away from it. I sure did my share of complaining about the stuff, though.
At the same time, I remember other posters having a strong dislike for the anti-psychotic Seroquel, and although I did have to plow through some unpleasant side effects before I adjusted to the medication, this drug saved my life.I know what you're going through and my heart goes out to you. Please hang in there, there IS light at the end of the tunnel although we sometimes lose sight of it.
Prayers for you...
Gracie
Posted by gabbix2 on April 20, 2003, at 15:44:14
In reply to Welcome, posted by whiterabbit on April 20, 2003, at 15:14:31
Oh Roxy
Welcome. The people who make up this 'board have been my life line. Although I'd never wish anyone feel as desolate as you do right now, I'm glad you found us.
I don't think there are really words to describe
the anguish of depression, and all those feelings you might not even recognize as part of it. The fear and the guilt and the self hatred-- the things that can make you cry all morning.There isn't much I know that can convince you that it won't always be this way,that its not a personal curse but I can bet we are all going to try :) because we've been there too.
Hang on
Its damn hard, but I can almost guarantee it will get better.
Posted by lostsailor on April 20, 2003, at 18:26:41
In reply to hi, posted by RoxyG on April 19, 2003, at 20:48:39
Hi I am an enthusiastic female feline named Aurora.
My "owner" is the pathetic one hiding. I would like to introduce my-self as I come here often seeking help for dealing with him---like humans, from my vast readings, use alanon (sp) I beg you to forgive him yet he does not desrve it, but "we" welcome you and look forward to your posts, though I read most for him and type in what he mutters in responce. He is so darn lucky to have me...Yours truely,
Aurora
Posted by fayeroe on April 20, 2003, at 21:43:29
In reply to hi, posted by RoxyG on April 19, 2003, at 20:48:39
Posted by ayuda on April 20, 2003, at 22:54:34
In reply to Re: hi++this may be a ruse++++be careful (nm), posted by fayeroe on April 20, 2003, at 21:43:29
Posted by ayuda on April 20, 2003, at 22:56:11
In reply to Re: hoax: woah, didn't think of that -- TY wiseone (nm) » fayeroe, posted by ayuda on April 20, 2003, at 22:54:34
Posted by lostsailor on April 21, 2003, at 0:19:22
In reply to i meant ruse, not hoax -- wrong week (nm) » ayuda, posted by ayuda on April 20, 2003, at 22:56:11
's name is aurora. Honest...long ago, maybe before you both of you came here there was a sick kitty who needed an operation named Zorra who is now safe and well ...see archives... all of us pet "owners" wrote "get well" letters in “kittyspeak”—i.e. often signing the letters with our pets names for "peer" support.
I am feeling totally nuts at the moment and am lonely as hell.
I felt even worse with that post to become a fiancé to an almost divorcée- does that ring a bell???
Bob bans you for being "uncivil" and/or rude...someone jyl, i think---made up the concept of self-banning. When I am feeling a bit manic or stricken with panic, I do not usually write aside from trying to help others when I see the need. This way I don't make a fool of my-self like I am doing now. I only use the pen name of Aurora my cat and friend, constellation and Greek goddess to other pet lovers.
I swear the to be true on any bible:
"Koron"
uummm just there to many to name
Posted by whiterabbit on April 21, 2003, at 0:27:40
In reply to rusenot hoax there is a tony that is me, my cat, posted by lostsailor on April 21, 2003, at 0:19:22
How come you feel bad about your post to me (the
almost-divorcee)?? I was in no way offended - in fact you gave me a smile, and I don't have many these days (strange days indeed).
Don't feel bad.
-Gracie
Posted by RoxyG on April 21, 2003, at 0:36:30
In reply to Re: Morning » RoxyG, posted by Dinah on April 20, 2003, at 13:29:50
> How are you this morning?
i'm doing good, i just got homr from my sister's-we spent the day eating, eating, and playing. it felt good. i'm going to talk to my doctor tomorrow and ask him what he thinks about my feeling good then feeling sad. i do better when i'm with my boyfriend and family. thanks for asking
Posted by kara lynne on April 21, 2003, at 0:37:27
In reply to Re: hi++this may be a ruse++++be careful (nm), posted by fayeroe on April 20, 2003, at 21:43:29
What makes you say this?
Posted by RoxyG on April 21, 2003, at 0:38:33
In reply to Welcome, posted by whiterabbit on April 20, 2003, at 15:14:31
> I've posted here from Hell on many occasions and I'm very thankful for all the caring and support I've recieved over the years.
> I would caution you, if you're posting on PB, not to take medication advice too literally. Different drugs and drug combinations work for different people. For instance, I had a bad experience with Depakote, but I (now) realize that this is a proven and effective mood stabalizer for many people, and I would not presume to warn others away from it. I sure did my share of complaining about the stuff, though.
> At the same time, I remember other posters having a strong dislike for the anti-psychotic Seroquel, and although I did have to plow through some unpleasant side effects before I adjusted to the medication, this drug saved my life.
>
> I know what you're going through and my heart goes out to you. Please hang in there, there IS light at the end of the tunnel although we sometimes lose sight of it.
> Prayers for you...
> Gracie
> thank you, i apologoze-i just got home and it's 130am and it's cold here. what is depokote? ive heard of seroquel but don't know much about it. what do they do?
>
Posted by RoxyG on April 21, 2003, at 0:43:25
In reply to Re: Here it is » RoxyG, posted by leeran on April 20, 2003, at 0:52:04
> Roxy,
>
> I remember one "dark" night in particular, and although it's been about four years ago it is still easy to vividly recall many of the feelings you related in your post.
>
> Since reading your post I've been thinking about that line from an old sixties song: "The darkest hour is just before dawn." Although it sounds like such a cliché it can be so true. During those dark moments it's so hard to forget that, metaphorically speaking, the sun will come up again. Maybe not tomorrow morning, or the next day – BUT IT WILL HAPPEN.
>
> I'm very new here, but I'm willing to bet that anyone who posts here, who has been in the darkness (myself VERY much included) can relate to what you're feeling.
>
> Not long ago, on the meds board, I read something from a poster that I copied and pasted for “future reference.” I hope it helps just a little:
>
> “Keep going . . . because if you don't, you'll never know how good things might have turned out.”
>
> This is so very true.
>
> That night, four years ago I didn’t have any idea of how good things would turn out. All I wanted was everything to fade to black, because if I was lucky, that blackness might obliterate the pain.
>
> Now, I realize that those feelings were “the depression talking.”
>
> There’s a good article on the internet that compares depression to a garbage truck that sets up household in our minds . . . a garbage truck that dumps out all kinds of feelings of remorse, self-recrimination, guilt, you name it. It’s like our minds temporarily turn against us; kind of a cruel joke referred to as a chemical imbalance.
>
> Kara Lynne is so right. The loneliness is painful beyond words. But you’ve come to the right place. Like Kara Lynne, I’m sending my love your way as well. Hang in there, friend.
>
> Leemy boyfriend talks a lot about the sun will set and the sun will rise. it's funny you say fade to black, im a communications major a freshman, sometimes ya, i wish it would fade to black, thank you for some great info-it will help keep me going. how do we fight off this depression? it's very new to me.>
Posted by RoxyG on April 21, 2003, at 0:45:17
In reply to Re: hi++this may be a ruse++++be careful (nm), posted by fayeroe on April 20, 2003, at 21:43:29
whats a ++this may be a ruse++++be careful mean, sorry this is the second time i posted. whats a plus plus mean?
Posted by RoxyG on April 21, 2003, at 0:52:20
In reply to Re: hi » RoxyG, posted by Kar on April 19, 2003, at 21:28:51
> hi Roxy. And welcome. That's how I found this site too. Don't be discouraged if there aren't that many posts tonight in response to you ok? it seems to be a slow night. Maybe the holiday or something. You've come to the right place for support. There are tons of people here who understand how you must be feeling and also many know 1st hand what you're going through. I think you'll find that as you read more here, you'll realize that you aren't the only one who feels alone at all. With my depression, I can feel alone in a crowd of loving people. It's the nature of it.
>
> Sorry you've had such an awful day...can you tell us more so we can help?
> Again, welcome to the board!thank you, what do you want me to tell you? Meds? Im new to all this,i hope ii came to the right place. so far it seems welcoming. i got to get use to this board though, not quite sure how to do it. i spent the day with my sister and her kids, and we hid easter eggs, it's almost 2am here in Maine so i have to get some sleep. i started a pill last night and ive been nothing but kind of tired like a mummy, i hope it goes away
>
>
Posted by lostsailor on April 21, 2003, at 0:54:29
In reply to Re: hi++this may be a ruse++++be careful » fayeroe, posted by RoxyG on April 21, 2003, at 0:45:17
sorry for all the confusion...
I have almost grown to hate feeling well and "stable" as my doc rx's me. At least when I am not "stable", I tend not to cause so much confusion.
maybe I'm not stable after all.
gonna call doc in am for an sos appointment just for him to tell me I am fine but a tad upset...the bummer is, I know it will be wasted $$ in co-pays already, but feel I need to do it just to feel more certain of being certain that I'm ok...
~tony
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 21, 2003, at 8:33:08
In reply to hi, posted by RoxyG on April 19, 2003, at 20:48:39
> i found this when i was doing some drug research on the net. i am not doing well and i am looking for some support.
I'm sorry if you're not doing well, but if you're blocked, you're not supposed to post. Best wishes,
Bob
PS: Follow-ups regarding posting policies, and complaints about posts, should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration, thanks.
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