Posted by leeran on April 20, 2003, at 0:52:04
In reply to Here it is, posted by RoxyG on April 19, 2003, at 21:59:04
Roxy,
I remember one "dark" night in particular, and although it's been about four years ago it is still easy to vividly recall many of the feelings you related in your post.
Since reading your post I've been thinking about that line from an old sixties song: "The darkest hour is just before dawn." Although it sounds like such a cliché it can be so true. During those dark moments it's so hard to forget that, metaphorically speaking, the sun will come up again. Maybe not tomorrow morning, or the next day – BUT IT WILL HAPPEN.
I'm very new here, but I'm willing to bet that anyone who posts here, who has been in the darkness (myself VERY much included) can relate to what you're feeling.
Not long ago, on the meds board, I read something from a poster that I copied and pasted for “future reference.” I hope it helps just a little:
“Keep going . . . because if you don't, you'll never know how good things might have turned out.”
This is so very true.
That night, four years ago I didn’t have any idea of how good things would turn out. All I wanted was everything to fade to black, because if I was lucky, that blackness might obliterate the pain.
Now, I realize that those feelings were “the depression talking.”
There’s a good article on the internet that compares depression to a garbage truck that sets up household in our minds . . . a garbage truck that dumps out all kinds of feelings of remorse, self-recrimination, guilt, you name it. It’s like our minds temporarily turn against us; kind of a cruel joke referred to as a chemical imbalance.
Kara Lynne is so right. The loneliness is painful beyond words. But you’ve come to the right place. Like Kara Lynne, I’m sending my love your way as well. Hang in there, friend.
Lee
poster:leeran
thread:220747
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030414/msgs/220773.html