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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by id rather be surfin on July 24, 2002, at 16:11:23
the last month has been one of the worst of my life. constant fighting with my girlfriend has left me wanting to end the whole relationship right here and now...but i once told her that i would love here always and forever and i still feel the same way.
what is wrong with me? why cant i make her happy? dont know why we are fighting most of the time. i usually unknowingly say or do something to piss her off, thus starting the downward spiral. it seems like nothing i do or say is ever what she wants to hear. i am constantly wondering if i am good enough for her, wondering if i am pissing her off at this very moment, wondering why the relationship has suddenly lost the physical aspect, and why she blows up over petty b.s.
after our last fight, (i still dont know why she blew up) we havent spoken to eachother for about a week. this past saturday would have been our 6 month anniversary.
i dont know why im writing this, what i want to say, or what i want the outcome of this relationship to be...i just know that i still love her and it hurts.
Posted by Bobby on July 24, 2002, at 16:36:35
In reply to what is wrong with me?, posted by id rather be surfin on July 24, 2002, at 16:11:23
sounds like she is looking for ANY reason to fight. Remember that it may not you that she's mad at. Try to talk honestly with her. If she refuses to talk...walk away dude. Just an opinion from someone who knows that time heals the wounds that no one can see.
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2002, at 17:40:47
In reply to what is wrong with me?, posted by id rather be surfin on July 24, 2002, at 16:11:23
I know it hurts. And I wish there was something I could say that would make it feel better. But I can't think of a thing.
I will say this, though. You can't "make" anyone happy. A person's happiness is their own responsibility.
Not much help I know, but at least take some pressure off yourself. It takes two people to make a worthwhile relationship.
Posted by Gabbi on July 24, 2002, at 20:33:02
In reply to Re: what is wrong with me? » id rather be surfin, posted by Dinah on July 24, 2002, at 17:40:47
Have you been in a lot of relationships where you felt like this? Or is this what you feel is the "one and only" for youDid you fight from the very beginning?
I'm sounding a bit clinical, I don't mean too, its just that while I can't do a thing to take away the pain right now,
Because you are feeling this panicky after a pretty short while (6 months isn't long)
There could be a lot of reasons why you are feeling this extreme that have more to do with you than the relationship.The feelings are genuine but they can be caused by so many things, that would show up eventually even if tomorrow your relationship magically became "perfect"
Its a bit much to be hit with when you are feeling desperate and in love I wouldn't blame you for just ignoring this.
I just have had such a pattern myself with being so frightened of having someone leave me, that I start behaving in a way
that drives them to leave.. And if I can help anyone before they start a self defeating pattern
I'd really like too.I wish there was a magic potion, but if there was there wouldn't be so many songs about the agony of "love"
Gabbi
Posted by shar on July 27, 2002, at 17:56:46
In reply to what is wrong with me?, posted by id rather be surfin on July 24, 2002, at 16:11:23
> constant fighting with my girlfriend has left me wanting to end the whole relationship right here and now...but i once told her that i would love here always and forever and i still feel the same way.
>
> what is wrong with me? why cant i make her happy? dont know why we are fighting most of the time. i usually unknowingly say or do something to piss her off, thus starting the downward spiral. it seems like nothing i do or say is ever what she wants to hear. i am constantly wondering if i am good enough for her, wondering if i am pissing her off at this very moment, wondering why the relationship has suddenly lost the physical aspect, and why she blows up over petty b.s.
>
> after our last fight, (i still dont know why she blew up) we havent spoken to eachother for about a week. this past saturday would have been our 6 month anniversary.
>
> i dont know why im writing this, what i want to say, or what i want the outcome of this relationship to be...i just know that i still love her and it hurts.Not to make light of your situation, but what you said reminded me of this Meatloaf tune that I love. One of his all time best, I think.
This is not the whole song, just the part i was reminded of:
***********************************************
I couldn't take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my god and on my mother's grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore that I would love you to the end of time!
So now I'm praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
It's all that I can do
Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you!!!
****************************************I've been where you are, in love, in pain, and it just doesn't have an up side. My very best wishes to you.
Shar
P.S. I started a thread and put the whole song in it. It might be good for a chuckle or two.
This is the end of the thread.
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