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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 31, 2002, at 10:49:59
[Posted by ST on March 31, 2002, at 4:30:51
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020327/msgs/101058.html]
> Wow...reading these posts makes me a little sad that more people don't understand depression. Imagine how much better we'd all do if our friends and family simply *understood*, let alone *supported* us!
> I lost the first love of my life because he just couldn't hold me up anymore. He didn't know what the hell was wrong with me and neither did I! Why was I doing just great one month and then teetering on the edge of suicide the next? 3 years later: Oh! manic depression, ofcourse!
> I live with my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years. He was completely forwarned before we even started dating that I displayed erratic behavior, was moody, selfish and highly emotional. Oh, and that I'm manic depressive ;-) He is such a support. He just quietly and with great strength allows me to be in whatever state I'm in. He understands where it's all coming from, doesn't take most of the crazy stuff I do personally and is very easy-going. All my friends are artists, musicians or actors and have mood disorders themselves or know at least a dozen people who suffer from some kind of depression. I feel very lucky.
> For those who don't have a support system - it is IMPERATIVE that you find one (this board is a start!). It makes me feel "normal" and not such a freak...
> Sarah
Posted by susan C on March 31, 2002, at 14:20:29
In reply to Do you live ALONE w/ your illness or what? « ST, posted by Dr. Bob on March 31, 2002, at 10:49:59
my illness at the curbside recycling tomorrow am... but I wouldn't want anyone else to get it by mistake. I have also considered taking a vacation from my illness or giving it a vacation, someone suggested buying it a one way trip to tahiti...
Mouse
Posted by IsoM on March 31, 2002, at 15:01:01
In reply to I am considering recycling, posted by susan C on March 31, 2002, at 14:20:29
Better you buy yourself that trip to Tahiti & leave behind Old Grump, the depression - don't pamper that uncooperative thing!
Wish you felt better little mouse. I miss your charming posts here on the board.
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on March 31, 2002, at 17:27:58
In reply to Re: I am considering recycling » susan C, posted by IsoM on March 31, 2002, at 15:01:01
Hello,I'm also sad that things aren't going well : (
Tahiti...although I'm scared of flying I've been trying to find an almost ideal place to go for a while ...
My brains turned to jelly and I've arrived at a stage where I'm happy to be pleasantly stupid it's nice and safe.sending the cheeky water sprites to cleanse the woes from your life...if they don't arrive I'll evaporate them!
lovables dreamerxx
Posted by Morgana on March 31, 2002, at 22:12:17
In reply to Do you live ALONE w/ your illness or what? « ST, posted by Dr. Bob on March 31, 2002, at 10:49:59
Janelle,
I am actually engaged to be married. :o)
My fiancé and I met at a mood disorder support group. Yep. It does happen.
We are both Bi-Polar. He's I and I'm II.
His family has had more years of experience supporting him and his illness. It is relatively new to my family. I've only been officially diagnosed for 2 years. Until my diagnosis, my family just thought I was umm... either not in this world or on some new and wonderful idea that would crash in 6 months or so. :)
I have been through some hard, hard things in my life and finally - I have found happiness and peace. I never thought it would happen.
Together Allen and I have 3 girls. 11, 10 & 6.
If you are looking for support systems, groups are a good way to find comfort. When I started attending the mood disorder group (where Allen and I met), I was so relieved to realize that I wasn't the only crazy person out there. And the group is a wonderful source of information on meds and experiences. The group is much like this forum, just a bit smaller (no world coverage :o) ).
Morgana, BPII - Nardil and Lamictal
Posted by sid on March 31, 2002, at 23:08:26
In reply to Re: Do you live ALONE w/ your illness to: Janelle, posted by Morgana on March 31, 2002, at 22:12:17
Well, I live alone. I'm not sure if things would be different without the illness, but it has made me more solitary than before. I like being alone - I need it, at least a few hours a day, else I can't relax.
Over time, I've found that people did not understand the disease I was struggling with, and since I was fine on my own, it was easier to stay that way than to try to make them understand.
And I've reach a point in my life where I don't want to explain or justify myself, I am what I am, period. I guess I'm your typical old maid. I'd like to have a child in a few years, but I consider having it alone anyway. I have never seen a couple that I envied, I tend to think that a couple consists of 2 neuroses that sustain each other, so being single is not a thing I'm working actively on changing. If love knocked at my door, I'd answer it, but then, I don't believe in love. I've been in love a few times and always lived to regret it, so I tend to associate maturity with the realization that couplehood is a Hollywood invention that can live up to its promise in movies only. Why waste valuable time on that? Life is too short and there is too much interesting stuff to keep me busy.So yeah, I live alone and plan to do so most of my life. Did the disease make me so adamant about being single? I don't think so - at 8 years old it was pretty clear in my mind that I would do things, go places and would never let a man prevent me from realizing my dreams.
- sid
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 1, 2002, at 9:56:14
In reply to I am considering recycling, posted by susan C on March 31, 2002, at 14:20:29
with some petunias and let the earth gobble it up?
i have a little mouse in my cabinet, eating my cereal. kitties could care less. he is very brazen, and getting quite fat.
caring thoughts to you
- kk
Posted by Emme on April 1, 2002, at 11:54:11
In reply to Do you live ALONE w/ your illness or what? « ST, posted by Dr. Bob on March 31, 2002, at 10:49:59
Yeah, I live alone, with minimal support system. Dad is nonjudgmental and tries to be supportive but is awkward with it and I think he's scared of it. Mom's a walking anxiety disorder who's 1000000% adamantly opposed to psychotropic drugs. So I have never told her a thing and do my best to put on a false face around her. Many of my friends are sympathetic - many have had mood problems themselves. Thing is, I need someone checking in on me via phone or e-mail with quasi regularity, and many friends don't realize that. They're busy, like everyone else, and live in various parts of the country. A couple of good friends and a terrific therapist are my best supports. I used to have a busy social calendar, but after I moved to a new city, I haven't had the energy/will to make as many new friends as I would like.
At its worst, the depression is such a private sort of hell, and I don't want to burden my friends too much, so sometimes I just don't even know what to do with myself to stop the intense pain. Thank god Lamictal is helping me, but that doesn't mean I don't have some bad days/nights. Doing it all on my own is tough. I am terrified that at some point I won't be able to work and support myself, that I won't ever be lively enough long enough to date and marry. All kinds of fears that I never had before this dang mood disorder got bad.
Thanks, all, for letting me whine. I was up till 4 last night and I'm a little sleep deprived.
Emme
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 2, 2002, at 13:49:44
In reply to I am considering recycling, posted by susan C on March 31, 2002, at 14:20:29
little brazen guy in the kitchen was sleeping permanently this morning after kitty and he had a game of hide and seek.
funeral is arranged for next Monday at 3:00.
Posted by IsoM on April 2, 2002, at 13:56:11
In reply to mouse - one of your cousins bit the dust, posted by Krazy Kat on April 2, 2002, at 13:49:44
If there was one, there's more, just not as bold as the little 'breadwinner' in the family. You might want to help the family relocate. Even if they didn't leave their little packets about the place (hmmm...strange dark brown rice), everywhere mice travel, they leave a trail of little droplets of mousey-smelling urine to mark the trails for others. I read about this before & then saw it on a show where the scientists shone a special light on the scene & one could see the trail of urine glowing in the dark.
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 2, 2002, at 14:49:53
In reply to Re: mouse - one of your cousins bit the dust » Krazy Kat , posted by IsoM on April 2, 2002, at 13:56:11
and such icky things don't usually bother me. :)
i know you're right - i need to set humane traps and send them elsewhere but i barely have the energy to take a shower right now.
we are "rural" so there will always be some, though not as many as nyc - i used to wake up to mousy heads by my bed in the morning.
to be honest, as long as schmecky kills it quickly, it doesn't bother me -- it's the torture some cats seem to find amusing that is tough to take. in nyc, there was a mouse once on my pillow, alive and comfy. i Screamed, and i rarely scream. he couldn't imagine what all the fuss was about. :)
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 3, 2002, at 18:06:33
In reply to Do you live ALONE w/ your illness or what? « ST, posted by Dr. Bob on March 31, 2002, at 10:49:59
[Posted by Libby Bonine on April 2, 2002, at 19:14:31
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020327/msgs/101007.html]
> I don't live alone with my depression, which is mostly a good thing... but in my case, the only people who seem to understand me are my husband and daughter... and both of them also have chronic severe depression. On good days, we joke that together, the three of us almost make a whole person. On the bad days, we're all so down that nobody can help anybody do anything... Most days, we're somehwere in-between.
>
> In many ways, we do support each other because we all know that this is an actual PHYSICAL illness and therefore, isn't something we can "just get over." WE pull together to cover each other's limitations when we can. The understanding and sense of "we" is really, really nice!
>
> On the flip side, there aren't many days when all I have to worry about are my own symptoms. With two other severely depressed people in the house, there are many, many days when I have to be the one who actually gets up when the alarm goes off and assume the role of motivational speaker until everyone else gets going... when I have to be the one who cooks & does the dishes & keeps track of everyone's "stuff" &... On most of these days, with medication, I feel ok and can deal with it... but on those days when medication doesn't seem to help & I don't feel ok & can't deal with it, I get even MORE depressed because I feel that if *I* stop, we'll all fall apart... On days like that, I can still feel pretty alone...
>
> I think a lot about how unfair it is that I have to be the one who does more than my fair share just because my meds are working better than anyone else's... When I look at it that way, I see that there is a point past which we're all alone...
>
> I know my family loves me, but no matter how much they love me, they can never know what it's like to be ME with MY depression... even if they were willing to take it, they couldn't... When it comes right down to it, my depression is 100% MINE... and that's not unfair or anything... it's just the way this thing works... I'm not alone because I'm flawed... I'm alone because at some point & in some things, everyone is...
>
> Somehow, remembering that helps me.
This is the end of the thread.
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