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Re: Do you live ALONE w/ your illness

Posted by sid on March 31, 2002, at 23:08:26

In reply to Re: Do you live ALONE w/ your illness to: Janelle, posted by Morgana on March 31, 2002, at 22:12:17

Well, I live alone. I'm not sure if things would be different without the illness, but it has made me more solitary than before. I like being alone - I need it, at least a few hours a day, else I can't relax.

Over time, I've found that people did not understand the disease I was struggling with, and since I was fine on my own, it was easier to stay that way than to try to make them understand.
And I've reach a point in my life where I don't want to explain or justify myself, I am what I am, period. I guess I'm your typical old maid. I'd like to have a child in a few years, but I consider having it alone anyway. I have never seen a couple that I envied, I tend to think that a couple consists of 2 neuroses that sustain each other, so being single is not a thing I'm working actively on changing. If love knocked at my door, I'd answer it, but then, I don't believe in love. I've been in love a few times and always lived to regret it, so I tend to associate maturity with the realization that couplehood is a Hollywood invention that can live up to its promise in movies only. Why waste valuable time on that? Life is too short and there is too much interesting stuff to keep me busy.

So yeah, I live alone and plan to do so most of my life. Did the disease make me so adamant about being single? I don't think so - at 8 years old it was pretty clear in my mind that I would do things, go places and would never let a man prevent me from realizing my dreams.

- sid


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