Psycho-Babble Social Thread 17367

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blushing / social phobia

Posted by ohal on January 28, 2002, at 8:53:53

For the last 12 or so years I have suffered from uncontrollable blushing.
I am not really shy but have this firmly in my conscious that I am going to blush when with people even my own friends and family. Any situation in which I might appear stupid causes me to blush.
I have been to an physchoanalyst who tried hypnosis with no success. I am too embarassed to seek help on it, it was such an effort to see the analyst for a while.
I would rather not take drugs to control the condition, but am so tired of trying to beat it, control it, live with it or whatever that I just might try something .......any help greatfully appreciated

 

Re: blushing / social phobia

Posted by finelinebob on January 28, 2002, at 11:30:48

In reply to blushing / social phobia, posted by ohal on January 28, 2002, at 8:53:53

Can't say that I've fully taken care of my problem along these lines, but I have come to something that helps me. It always seemed to me that whatever would cause me to blush, it would trigger a cycle of blush-recignize I'm blushing-feel even more embarassed-blush some more-ad infinitum ad absurdum. But even that isn't quite right. The initial trigger -- what would cause me to blush in the first place -- often wasn't something I'd feel embarassed about at all!, but it would still trigger the cycle.

I decided to work really hard at not being embarassed about blushing. (1) That meant not reacting in any other way to people noticing I was blushing. Whether it was a snicker, someone pointing, whispering between two people who might be looking at me, I worked hard at not letting my thoughts get distracted by such behavior. Otherwise, I'd pause, I'd stutter, I'd lose my train of thought ... which would just make things worse. This was definitely the toughest thing to do. (2) I would allow myself a short pause to take a deep breath before going on. I'd focus my thinking on the breath and on relaxing.

Basically, I'd try to cut off both the thought process and the physiological process that would kick off that blush "cascade failure".

That doesn't mean I don't blush anymore ... I still have a hair trigger when it comes to the color of my cheeks in social situations. I've just managed to learn how to stop it from going from rosy cheeks to fire engine red all over my face.

hth
flb

 

Re: blushing / social phobia » ohal

Posted by sid on January 28, 2002, at 17:23:00

In reply to blushing / social phobia, posted by ohal on January 28, 2002, at 8:53:53

Well, I know a big shot who gives talks at conferences and who blushes uncontrollably. At first I thought it was odd, then I thought, well, he is human, even though he is a big shot he blushes. And I ended up not noticing it so much, simply because that's part of him. He made an impressive career too, so it did not impair him too much apparently.

You said you're tired of trying to live with it, but that's what I'm suggesting here. There's no shame in blushing. It's simply unfortunate that it bothers you so much however. I don't think that people have a bad opinion about you for it, and once they get past the fact that you're a blusher (once they notice the first time they see you), they probably don't notice it so much, just like me with this big shot.

I blush at times myself, I am not sure how often. Sometimes I feel it because my face becomes warm, but I try not to think about it and to concentrate on what I have to say (it's usually when I have to talk in a group of people).

Sorry but I don't have a miracle solution...

- Sid

 

Re: blushing / social phobia » ohal

Posted by christophrejmc on January 28, 2002, at 19:18:02

In reply to blushing / social phobia, posted by ohal on January 28, 2002, at 8:53:53

Besides blushing, do you have any mood/anxiety problems?

You might want to see a dermatologist; you might be able to use some kind of cream to help control the situation.

Also, you might want to avoid certain things that can make it worse -- caffeine, nicotine, spicy foods, etc.

I had a similar problem in high school (which earned me a not-so-flattering nickname), and, to a lesser degree, still do.

I don't have any personal experience, but it's possible that CBT (Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy) may help.

Good Luck,
Christophre

 

Re: blushing / social phobia » ohal

Posted by Ritch on January 29, 2002, at 11:42:28

In reply to blushing / social phobia, posted by ohal on January 28, 2002, at 8:53:53

> For the last 12 or so years I have suffered from uncontrollable blushing.
> I am not really shy but have this firmly in my conscious that I am going to blush when with people even my own friends and family. Any situation in which I might appear stupid causes me to blush.
> I have been to an physchoanalyst who tried hypnosis with no success. I am too embarassed to seek help on it, it was such an effort to see the analyst for a while.
> I would rather not take drugs to control the condition, but am so tired of trying to beat it, control it, live with it or whatever that I just might try something .......any help greatfully appreciated

Hi,

I don't know if this would help, but I was reading somewhere that people have a tendency to be *attracted* to people who blush. I have SP probs. and after I read that it made it a lot easier. Sometimes folks with SP have difficulty realizing how many people *do* like them.

Mitch


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