Posted by finelinebob on January 28, 2002, at 11:30:48
In reply to blushing / social phobia, posted by ohal on January 28, 2002, at 8:53:53
Can't say that I've fully taken care of my problem along these lines, but I have come to something that helps me. It always seemed to me that whatever would cause me to blush, it would trigger a cycle of blush-recignize I'm blushing-feel even more embarassed-blush some more-ad infinitum ad absurdum. But even that isn't quite right. The initial trigger -- what would cause me to blush in the first place -- often wasn't something I'd feel embarassed about at all!, but it would still trigger the cycle.
I decided to work really hard at not being embarassed about blushing. (1) That meant not reacting in any other way to people noticing I was blushing. Whether it was a snicker, someone pointing, whispering between two people who might be looking at me, I worked hard at not letting my thoughts get distracted by such behavior. Otherwise, I'd pause, I'd stutter, I'd lose my train of thought ... which would just make things worse. This was definitely the toughest thing to do. (2) I would allow myself a short pause to take a deep breath before going on. I'd focus my thinking on the breath and on relaxing.
Basically, I'd try to cut off both the thought process and the physiological process that would kick off that blush "cascade failure".
That doesn't mean I don't blush anymore ... I still have a hair trigger when it comes to the color of my cheeks in social situations. I've just managed to learn how to stop it from going from rosy cheeks to fire engine red all over my face.
hth
flb
poster:finelinebob
thread:17367
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020125/msgs/17372.html