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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Kristi on November 1, 2001, at 23:37:59
Hi.....
Just sharing a little happening.
I woke up last night to go to the bathroom.... started to lift myself out of bed(the most painful movement for me, cuz you use all your upper muscles...) and it DIDN'T hurt. I got up and started doing movements with my arm.... and their was no pain. I was so happy I started crying.. and I mean, really crying. I e-mailed a friend of mine and told him.... then I went back to bed.
I woke up in the morning, and just layed in bed thinking how awesome it is to be out of pain. I mean, they tell me it's chronic, but I just keep thinking that one day I'll wake up and it'll be gone. So I start to get out of bed... and it hurt... so bad, just like normal. I sat their for a minute and realized it might have been a dream. Nah...... it was too real. So I went to the computer to see if I actually sent this friend an e-mail, and I didn't.
The worst dream I ever had. Ugh.
Posted by mair on November 2, 2001, at 7:40:41
In reply to Worse than any nightmare!!!!!, posted by Kristi on November 1, 2001, at 23:37:59
> Kristi - that's awful!! I had a bizarre dream last night that I was being chased by some very good, efficient hitmen. Why they wanted to kill me either wasn't part of the dream, or it's a part I've forgotten. It was pretty dreadful, but I'd take a nightmare like that any day over what happened to you. Maybe it's telling you that you can have some control over this - not the pain, but how you react to it. You've got so much spirit and have overcome so much already.
Mair
Posted by susan C on November 2, 2001, at 11:13:18
In reply to Worse than any nightmare!!!!!, posted by Kristi on November 1, 2001, at 23:37:59
oh, dear,
but you do have the strong memory of being with out pain...here is a gentle hug, no, i will give you a foot massage.
My sister still has severe neck problems (no disks anymore) and will not let anyone touch her neck.
So here are to feet massages.
mouse underfoot
susan C
Posted by sar on November 2, 2001, at 13:31:15
In reply to Re: Worse than any nightmare!!!!!, posted by susan C on November 2, 2001, at 11:13:18
kristi,
that must hurt so much...
i believe in dream interpretation though, and i'd venture to say that not only does your dream show your hope and strength, but that your mind also gave you relief at night by reminding you of the joy you will soon experience. our minds can put us out of our misery in dreams sometimes, but i know it can hurt so much to wake up...
i hope you're okay today, kiddo. i'll let mouse take your left foot while i work on the right one, and then we'll all have hot chocolate and you can tell us who is the superior masseuse.
love,
sar
Posted by wendy b. on November 2, 2001, at 15:28:03
In reply to Re: Worse than any nightmare!!!!!, posted by sar on November 2, 2001, at 13:31:15
> i hope you're okay today, kiddo. i'll let mouse take your left foot while i work on the right one, and then we'll all have hot chocolate and you can tell us who is the superior masseuse.
>
> love,
> sarExcuse me, I'd like one of Kristi's feet, too. How're we going to do this?
Sar (and the others) has the right idea about your dream. It's showing you how strong you are. It's showing you: I know this about myself. That's a very clear message. But I can feel how painful it must have been to wake up, to not find the e-mail... Eerie, how real it seems, doesn't it? I think everyone who wrote back has experienced this hyper-reality thing in dreams. 'Way to go, kiddo. It'll all come out good...
love, and take care,
Wendy
Posted by Kristi on November 3, 2001, at 0:09:15
In reply to Re: Worse than any nightmare!!!!!, posted by wendy b. on November 2, 2001, at 15:28:03
Thanks all..... for responding and understanding how that dream made me feel.
Sar... I certainly hope your right. Maybe it's a little peek into the future????????? One can only hope. I haven't gotten that dream out of my mind since...... I want it..... I want it sooo bad. Guess that's why I dreamt it.
Thanks also for saying I'm strong. I really don't feel it sometimes, so I appreciate that. I just know my life is never going to be the same again..... and that totally sucks. And I can't take any AD's to get out of this little "slump" of mine.... I just want to be physically normal again. Let alone mentally.
I get so angry sometimes... and I don't mean to, it's just that sometimes people(and it's usually the "mean" out for themselves ones) that seem to live such charmed lives.... and have no idea what mental and physical pain is like.
As of right now I've been wearing this sports bra under my uniform. It covers my scar.... but peeks up thru the uniform. We just ordered new ones. Tried one on today... and everything shows. My manager informed me that I can't wear anything underneath or alter it in anyway. I can't see how they don't understand.... I mean, they all know what I've been thru, and all of them "supposedly" feel so bad for me. So I'm told I have to wear the uniform "as is".... meaning showing an unbelievably awful scar. I'm going to have to quit. I won't do that to myself. I'm subconscience as it is. Not only will I be aware of it.... it definately is not something the customers are going to want to look at. I don't know what I'm gonna do. Ugh. I'm sorry to vent so much...... just took two valiums and really should be sleeping. I'm sure I'll regret this post in the morning. But thank you all for your responding and understanding. A wishfull krist. Love to all of you!!!!!
>
> > i hope you're okay today, kiddo. i'll let mouse take your left foot while i work on the right one, and then we'll all have hot chocolate and you can tell us who is the superior masseuse.
> >
> > love,
> > sar
>
>
>
> Excuse me, I'd like one of Kristi's feet, too. How're we going to do this?
>
> Sar (and the others) has the right idea about your dream. It's showing you how strong you are. It's showing you: I know this about myself. That's a very clear message. But I can feel how painful it must have been to wake up, to not find the e-mail... Eerie, how real it seems, doesn't it? I think everyone who wrote back has experienced this hyper-reality thing in dreams. 'Way to go, kiddo. It'll all come out good...
>
>
> love, and take care,
> Wendy
Posted by Kristi on November 3, 2001, at 0:09:59
In reply to Re: Worse than any nightmare!!!!!, posted by wendy b. on November 2, 2001, at 15:28:03
Posted by shelliR on November 3, 2001, at 13:03:29
In reply to Worse than any nightmare!!!!!, posted by Kristi on November 1, 2001, at 23:37:59
>Kristi, two little things. (besides saying that you don't sound at all inappropriate--you can vent all you want)
We just all wish we could help you more.
My little things: first thing, just throw out of your mind if it's not possible, but I was just wondering if a seamstress could add an extra layer inside your dress so your scar wouldn't show. My guess is probably not, since they are being so nasty about the whole thing, but a few layers of
opaque material might help.Second thing: in one of the threads I read that you were told that you will have to accept that you will always have pain. I don't believe that you should accept this. Pain management centers are popping up all over the country and supervising people on pain so they can take enough pain medication NOT to always feel pain. Probably, you'd want your surgury to heal first, but then I'd definitely get yourself over to one of those pain specialists who believe that people should not have to live with pain. Like in Northern Virginia there is a clinic who peole come to from all over the country and the doctor there works with them so that they have no pain. I'm guessing there's someone or a clinic much closer to Las Vegas. To get narcotics for pain, you must see the doctor at least one a month, so I would check of where you live first. If you go to a doctor about pain now he/she might be able to tell you how much more healing you need to do before they set up a program for you. They have found that in most cases in someone is taking something for pain, their body call tell them when it's too high, and although you will go up at the beginning, they say that most people reach a dose that they settle into and feel NO pain. So try not to think of this as a forever thing.
Sorry you are feeling so crummy and definitely understand.
Shelli
Posted by Kristi on November 4, 2001, at 0:28:44
In reply to Re: Worse than any nightmare!!!!! » Kristi, posted by shelliR on November 3, 2001, at 13:03:29
> >Kristi, two little things. (besides saying that you don't sound at all inappropriate--you can vent all you want)
>
> We just all wish we could help you more.
> My little things: first thing, just throw out of your mind if it's not possible, but I was just wondering if a seamstress could add an extra layer inside your dress so your scar wouldn't show. My guess is probably not, since they are being so nasty about the whole thing, but a few layers of
> opaque material might help.
Actually.... thanks mucho for bringing this up. I was trying to think of things to wear under that were less noticeable, ways to pin, etc....very good idea. I actually went over my bosses head today *oops* and talked to her boss. He kind of has a soft spot for what I've been thru. He says we'll see when the new uniforms get here and try and figure something out. I read your post before work.... and asked him about just sewing in the material. So thanks for the advice..... at least he'll think about it.
> Second thing: in one of the threads I read that you were told that you will have to accept that you will always have pain. I don't believe that you should accept this. Pain management centers are popping up all over the country and supervising people on pain so they can take enough pain medication NOT to always feel pain. Probably, you'd want your surgury to heal first, but then I'd definitely get yourself over to one of those pain specialists who believe that people should not have to live with pain. Like in Northern Virginia there is a clinic who peole come to from all over the country and the doctor there works with them so that they have no pain. I'm guessing there's someone or a clinic much closer to Las Vegas. To get narcotics for pain, you must see the doctor at least one a month, so I would check of where you live first. If you go to a doctor about pain now he/she might be able to tell you how much more healing you need to do before they set up a program for you. They have found that in most cases in someone is taking something for pain, their body call tell them when it's too high, and although you will go up at the beginning, they say that most people reach a dose that they settle into and feel NO pain. So try not to think of this as a forever thing.
I've actually thought of this.... and your right, once I'm "healed".... this'll definately be a priority... they are very big around here. We have quite a few pain management clinics. I'm not exactly sure what's involved... but from what I can tell it's physical therapy and regular therapy...... I'LL TRY ANYTHING.
> Sorry you are feeling so crummy and definitely understand
Thank you so much. It really helps to have people care. Thanks for taking the time to respond.
>
>
> Shelli
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