![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Greg A. on October 25, 2001, at 1:09:21
Seven weeks tomorrow but who's counting? So how is my life different without my nightly dose of alcohol? Well it's 11:00 p.m. here and i am not stumbling off to bed. It was never really a bad stumble, although there were lots of times i would wake up on the couch with the TV on, not quite sure if I was supposed to be up or in bed. Do I enjoy my sober evenings? I guess I do. I like being more in control rather than alcohol controlling me. I am not as quick to anger with my kids. Because I don't drink and i don't suffer the after effects either, I get more accomplished in a day. So that's good But . . . I am increasingly anxious in the late afternoon and evenings. That worries me. Anxiety has been a big problem for me and I don't need it back again. Funny though - I am not looking at alcohol as a way to relax right now. I am trying exercise and some woodwork projects instead. I think my wife figures she can't win. Before I would withdraw in the evenings and drink. Now I withdraw or isolate myself in my workshop or go to the gym. I hope she gives me the time to sort this out.
I hadn't planned on a rambling post here. I was just going to give a few thoughts on how my days are different now. I find a lot in common with those of you who are questioning the amount you drink, or why you drink. I asked those questions for a good portion of my life. When I would stop drinking for a month or two and not feel better, I would always start again, thinking, well that's not the problem. But even if it's not the root of my 'illness' it is a problem in itself.Thanks for the chance to ramble.
Greggy (for short)
Posted by stjames on October 25, 2001, at 1:31:28
In reply to Life without alcohol - a comparative study, posted by Greg A. on October 25, 2001, at 1:09:21
7 weeks ! Yea. Sounds to me like you self medicate to deal with the anxiety. Perhaps
a less crude and more specific medication could treat this issue.j
Posted by akc on October 25, 2001, at 6:53:22
In reply to Life without alcohol - a comparative study, posted by Greg A. on October 25, 2001, at 1:09:21
I also applaude. This is not an easy thing. And as an old-timer in AA who I greatly respect points out, there is a big difference in learning to not drink and learning to live without drinking. I know a lot of miserable ex-drunks in AA. I don't wish that on anyone. It takes honesty to look out ourselves and realize that there has to be more -- and I see that in what you wrote. But on the flip side, it also takes time. As stjames points out, one thing might be figuring out whether the anxiety you have been self-medicating needs a "proper" medication. Or it might just need some self-examination to figure out its roots and all.
But most important is that you are not doing this in some sort of blind stupor -- you are walking this path with honesty -- and I think that is so critical in any growth. You are to be congratulated. Keep posting.
akc
Posted by Greg on October 25, 2001, at 8:23:55
In reply to Life without alcohol - a comparative study, posted by Greg A. on October 25, 2001, at 1:09:21
Remember when you asked about the rewards? Sounds like you're getting an abundance of them to me. Excellent job man, keep it up!
Greg, minus the initial
>
> Seven weeks tomorrow but who's counting? So how is my life different without my nightly dose of alcohol? Well it's 11:00 p.m. here and i am not stumbling off to bed. It was never really a bad stumble, although there were lots of times i would wake up on the couch with the TV on, not quite sure if I was supposed to be up or in bed. Do I enjoy my sober evenings? I guess I do. I like being more in control rather than alcohol controlling me. I am not as quick to anger with my kids. Because I don't drink and i don't suffer the after effects either, I get more accomplished in a day. So that's good But . . . I am increasingly anxious in the late afternoon and evenings. That worries me. Anxiety has been a big problem for me and I don't need it back again. Funny though - I am not looking at alcohol as a way to relax right now. I am trying exercise and some woodwork projects instead. I think my wife figures she can't win. Before I would withdraw in the evenings and drink. Now I withdraw or isolate myself in my workshop or go to the gym. I hope she gives me the time to sort this out.
> I hadn't planned on a rambling post here. I was just going to give a few thoughts on how my days are different now. I find a lot in common with those of you who are questioning the amount you drink, or why you drink. I asked those questions for a good portion of my life. When I would stop drinking for a month or two and not feel better, I would always start again, thinking, well that's not the problem. But even if it's not the root of my 'illness' it is a problem in itself.
>
> Thanks for the chance to ramble.
>
> Greggy (for short)
Posted by juliedealer on October 25, 2001, at 13:13:18
In reply to Life without alcohol - a comparative study, posted by Greg A. on October 25, 2001, at 1:09:21
Greg,
thanks you for this, I really enjoy reading what you have to say, it makes me hopeful. Right my typical day off is as follows:
I get up btwn 6 and 8 am
I turn on the tv
I take my 75 mg of effexor and 2 or 3 cups of coffee, and smoke
about 2 hours (2 episodes of Mash and 1 episode of ER) I start drinking
how much I drink varies, sometimes 6 beers, sometimes 10
I then eat and take a "nap" (pass out is more like it)
I then get up and feel guilty as hell, and ask myself why did I do this again?
I eat some more, trying to heal myself, and watch more TV
I don't go out on my days off, (unless for beer or cigarettes), and I never turn off the TV. for the past 3 weeks I've forgotten to put the trash at the curb for the garbage men, and I haven't cleaned the kitchen in a week. I don't answer the phone, I leave the mnail pile up for 2-3 days before taking it out of the box.I go to work, but the only reason this year I have called off is because of hangovers. The only other thing I seem to do is get on the computer ocassionally.
this is the first time I've actually told anyone what my days are like.
julie
Posted by Greg A. on October 25, 2001, at 15:47:21
In reply to This is what life is like for me right now, posted by juliedealer on October 25, 2001, at 13:13:18
Julie - what a step to 'confide' what your day is like. You really want to make a change, but it's so hard to start. Some people say to replace one addiction with another, but a more positive one. When I quit smoking many years ago, I went for a run every evening when the urge to smoke was really getting to me. Feeling awful when I ran would remind me of why I wanted to quit smoking. Sounds dumb, but it worked for me.
Julie - you really do sound depressed, in the clinical sense of the word. That's why I say your description is so familiar. During my times of bad depression I was scared to answer the phone, scared that someone would want me to think and have meaningful things to say. I couldn't even read a book. No concentration, and sometimes not even the ability to decide what to read. So lots of TV and lots of drinking. I drank the most when my depression was at its worst.
I have been through quite a few ADs and I find they get me to the point where I can do something about myself. They are not the cure in themselves, but without them I feel hopeless.
If you are okay with it, give me a bit of a history of your experience with depression. You said it runs in the family.
Let's face it, two screwed up minds are likely better than one!Greg.
Posted by susan C on October 25, 2001, at 19:47:55
In reply to Sounds familiar Julie, posted by Greg A. on October 25, 2001, at 15:47:21
> Julie - what a step to 'confide' what your day is like. You really want to make a change, but it's so hard to start. Some people say to replace one addiction with another, but a more positive one. When I quit smoking many years ago, I went for a run every evening when the urge to smoke was really getting to me. Feeling awful when I ran would remind me of why I wanted to quit smoking. Sounds dumb, but it worked for me.
> Julie - you really do sound depressed, in the clinical sense of the word. That's why I say your description is so familiar. During my times of bad depression I was scared to answer the phone, scared that someone would want me to think and have meaningful things to say. I couldn't even read a book. No concentration, and sometimes not even the ability to decide what to read. So lots of TV and lots of drinking. I drank the most when my depression was at its worst.
> I have been through quite a few ADs and I find they get me to the point where I can do something about myself. They are not the cure in themselves, but without them I feel hopeless.
> If you are okay with it, give me a bit of a history of your experience with depression. You said it runs in the family.
> Let's face it, two screwed up minds are likely better than one!
>
> Greg.
Hi JD,Make it three minds, heck, only does it count that I don't drink? Could I be of help anyway? I don't know how many people post here, let alone read this board regularly, but, you have got quite the opportunity here...oops, that is the 'performer' in me coming out I guess...
My day? First, let me see if I can remember it...this week has been different, but an average day, is put up with the noisy hotwater tank, as my hub gets up and gets ready for work (at 4 or 5) then, he usually comes in and wakes me up before he leaves at 7, which is dear, but when I am dead asleep,grrrrrrrrr. Then I get up. sometimes get dressed, check my email and PB, drink breakfast (smoothie) my husband makes for me because sometimes I forget to eat. Then I do something, or nothing, oh, I am really stumped. Oh, my son is usually up and running around getting ready to leave for the bus up to college. Then then it is quiet. It used to be I would take every other day and go to the club and wave my arms and legs around in the pool...but these last months have been so unsteady, I usually, go rest, then get up and do something, like clean the back door with a tooth brush (really) or the window with Qtips, or vacuum one room. I dont read the newspaper...I watch the birds out the window...I try to answer things here...and I try to learn more about what is going on...I figure if I read enough of Cam's posts and the responses, I will see the 25$ words enough times, that some of it might sink in.
Now, if I want to go anywhere there is a transit van that will come to my door to pick me up...I am getting used to the idea that I don't drive, now I have to get used to the idea someone other than my hub would take me where ever I need to go whenever I need to go as long as I am willing to wait an hour to be picked up...
Sometimes, like someone recently said, I watch Jenny Jones, or what's his name, just to be able to say, atleast I am not 16 years old, pregnant, with four kids and on TV!!!
around six, everyone is home, I sometimes have cooked, sometimes not, sometimes around 7 or 8 I am here on Open Babble, then, 8:30 I start my routine for going to bed...By 9:30 or ten I am totally OUT.
Hang in there, Julie,
'Here I come to save the day, Mighty Mouse is on the Way...'
(said and sung in the most general of terms referring to everyone here and your doctor(s) and most importantly yourself)
a silly, susan C
Posted by juliedealer on October 26, 2001, at 9:38:09
In reply to Re: Sounds familiar Julie, posted by susan C on October 25, 2001, at 19:47:55
>
Posted by kid_A on October 26, 2001, at 10:30:08
In reply to ok, todays goal just don't drink today (nm), posted by juliedealer on October 26, 2001, at 9:38:09
Posted by Greg A. on October 26, 2001, at 13:01:47
In reply to ok, todays goal just don't drink today (nm), posted by juliedealer on October 26, 2001, at 9:38:09
Talk to us Julie. You want to make a change and maybe we can help. I'm certainly willing to try.
Greg
Posted by paxvox on October 26, 2001, at 16:25:07
In reply to Life without alcohol - a comparative study, posted by Greg A. on October 25, 2001, at 1:09:21
GEZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
A wrote about a 15 minute reply to this only to find I had not become a "New and Improved" Pyschobabbler! Arrrgghhhh!!!
PAX
Posted by dreamer on October 27, 2001, at 0:53:26
In reply to good god! its friday, how can one do that!? (nm), posted by kid_A on October 26, 2001, at 10:30:08
Posted by juliedealer on October 27, 2001, at 8:55:17
In reply to Re: Life without alcohol - a comparative study » Greg A., posted by paxvox on October 26, 2001, at 16:25:07
not perfect but that's a good start for me. I'd really just like to be able to go a couple of days, to see if there is a difference.julie
Posted by Greg A. on October 27, 2001, at 23:18:56
In reply to good news, I only had 1 beer after work, posted by juliedealer on October 27, 2001, at 8:55:17
> Way to go Julie!! A couple of days is a good goal, but don't expect miracles. It's one of those things you have to look back on after awhile and you say 'Hey - my life *is* better this way.'
I've been having a tough week, this being my seventh and into the eighth without alc. I've been really anxious all week ( first time since I quit drinking) and had big problems with oldest daughter as well. I haven't given in to the urge to have just that one drink to relax though.
Anyway, I'm proud of you. Keep us posted.Your admirer,
Greg
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 29, 2001, at 9:35:25
In reply to Re: Life without alcohol - a comparative study » Greg A., posted by paxvox on October 26, 2001, at 16:25:07
Posted by Gracie2 on November 5, 2001, at 17:09:01
In reply to Re: Life without alcohol - a comparative study » Greg A., posted by akc on October 25, 2001, at 6:53:22
THE JOYS OF DRINKING AND THE MORNING AFTER*You feel as if your head is caught in a vise.
*You can't move your neck.
*You're thirsty enough to drink water from the fishtank.
*Your eyes are a gorgeous shade of red.
*You don't know the person in bed with you.
*You don't have to change clothes because you're still fully dressed from the day before.
*Everything you touch is sticky.
*You can't find your wallet.
*you can't find your keys.
*Your teeth are wearing little fur coats.
*Your girlfriend and your dog are mad at you and you don't know why.
*There are 365 cigarette butts in the 5-inch ashtray on the coffeetable.
*You can practically see the air in your house.
*There are enough bottles and cans around to start a boy scout drive.
*Noises like the phone ringing cause actual physical pain.
*You wake up with your dress on backwards.
*Your face has been inches from the bottom of a wastebasket or the water in the toilet.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.