![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 2 to 26 of 27. Go back in thread:
Posted by Willow on August 5, 2001, at 23:11:59
In reply to Any babblers living in San Diego?, posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 5, 2001, at 23:05:00
> someone who would like to meet for a cup of coffee
> or somethingI'm a little north of you and east too. I would love to have a coffee with you, but you would probably get tired of waiting.
And what is the or something, TEA?
Little Willow
Posted by Roo on August 6, 2001, at 13:33:50
In reply to Re: Any babblers living in San Diego?, posted by Willow on August 5, 2001, at 23:11:59
Wish I was, Glenn, I'd have a cup with you, but I'm a LONG way way. North
Carolina. Hope you're feeling a little better
lately.
Posted by Willow on August 6, 2001, at 14:29:35
In reply to Re: Any babblers living in San Diego?, posted by Roo on August 6, 2001, at 13:33:50
Are you okay? I guess this is one of the drawbacks of communication through the internet. You make friends who are too far away and it just doesn't feel the same when there isn't the physcial contact. I don't mean in a sexual manner, but not being able to read a persons facial expressions, hear the tone of their voice, and to be able to give a hug or dance a jig.
BEST WISHES
Willow
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 6, 2001, at 14:50:49
In reply to Re: Any babblers living in San Diego?, posted by Roo on August 6, 2001, at 13:33:50
> Wish I was, Glenn, I'd have a cup with you, but I'm a LONG way way. North
> Carolina. Hope you're feeling a little better
> lately.Thank you, Roo!!
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 6, 2001, at 14:55:31
In reply to Re: Any babblers living in San Diego?, posted by Willow on August 5, 2001, at 23:11:59
>
> > someone who would like to meet for a cup of coffee
> > or something
>
> I'm a little north of you and east too. I would love to have a coffee with you, but you would probably get tired of waiting.
>
> And what is the or something, TEA?
>
> Little WillowHi Willow,
The "something" would be: a bite to eat
or having some dessert at a coffeehouse or
someone to play tennis with.Glenn
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 6, 2001, at 14:58:01
In reply to Glenn ..., posted by Willow on August 6, 2001, at 14:29:35
> Are you okay? I guess this is one of the drawbacks of communication through the internet. You make friends who are too far away and it just doesn't feel the same when there isn't the physcial contact. I don't mean in a sexual manner, but not being able to read a persons facial expressions, hear the tone of their voice, and to be able to give a hug or dance a jig.
>
> BEST WISHES
> WillowHi again Willow,
What makes you think that I may not be OK?
Actually, I have been struggling with a lot
of suicidal thoughts.Glenn
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 6, 2001, at 15:08:26
In reply to Re: Any babblers living in San Diego?, posted by Willow on August 5, 2001, at 23:11:59
>
> > someone who would like to meet for a cup of coffee
> > or something
>
> I'm a little north of you and east too. I would love to have a coffee with you, but you would probably get tired of waiting.
>
> And what is the or something, TEA?
>
> Little WillowWhat do you mean when you say that I would
probably get tired of waiting?Glenn
Posted by Kingfish on August 6, 2001, at 19:03:41
In reply to Re: Glenn ..., posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 6, 2001, at 14:58:01
Glenn:
I'm sorry to jump in here - eaves dropping again...
Unfortunately, I'm on the other side of the country - NY. I thought it might help, though, to know that someone else is having trouble dealing with depression right now. I can feel it starting to take hold again.
I'm sorry you are suffering, too. I am going to try and go to sleep soon, but will hopefully have the moxy to check in tomorrow. Please let me (us) know how you are.
- K.
Posted by Willow on August 6, 2001, at 20:27:16
In reply to Re: Glenn ..., posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 6, 2001, at 14:58:01
I live so far away. Just for me to get to Toronto would take over three hours. By plan maybe 45 minutes, but that isn't counting on time to get to the airport, waiting for the bird, etc.
I have a post to Kristi up above and it has links to my town. Some of them have maps. I didn't check the maps out because I'm fairly sure of my location. They may give you an idea of the distance I'm referring to.
I wish my numbers for the Lotto would come up, then I could fly right over for that cup of coffee. I like mine with double milk and three sugar. I need the sugar to keep me from getting bitter.
My dad gave me my first cup of coffee that I can remember. He use to back then drink his black. When I complained that it was too hot he told me to add more sugar. Parents probably are a bad influence!
Are the suicidal thoughts new to you? What I mean is have you had them before? They do go away, but I am concerned about you because you are a man. Men are more impulsive then women. (Or perhaps women are too flippy to keep a line of thought. Ohhh, I may get flap for that one. What I mean is that we, women, have so much on the go.) Do you know what brought this on?
If I'm being too nosey just let me know.
Your Friend
Little Willow
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 6, 2001, at 21:29:45
In reply to Re: Glenn ..., posted by Kingfish on August 6, 2001, at 19:03:41
> Glenn:
>
> I'm sorry to jump in here - eaves dropping again...
>
> Unfortunately, I'm on the other side of the country - NY. I thought it might help, though, to know that someone else is having trouble dealing with depression right now. I can feel it starting to take hold again.
>
> I'm sorry you are suffering, too. I am going to try and go to sleep soon, but will hopefully have the moxy to check in tomorrow. Please let me (us) know how you are.
>
> - K.Hi Kingfish, I will check in tomorrow!
Glenn
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 6, 2001, at 21:47:55
In reply to Re: Glenn ..., posted by Willow on August 6, 2001, at 20:27:16
> I live so far away. Just for me to get to Toronto would take over three hours. By plan maybe 45 minutes, but that isn't counting on time to get to the airport, waiting for the bird, etc.
>
> I have a post to Kristi up above and it has links to my town. Some of them have maps. I didn't check the maps out because I'm fairly sure of my location. They may give you an idea of the distance I'm referring to.
>
> I wish my numbers for the Lotto would come up, then I could fly right over for that cup of coffee. I like mine with double milk and three sugar. I need the sugar to keep me from getting bitter.
>
> My dad gave me my first cup of coffee that I can remember. He use to back then drink his black. When I complained that it was too hot he told me to add more sugar. Parents probably are a bad influence!
>
> Are the suicidal thoughts new to you? What I mean is have you had them before? They do go away, but I am concerned about you because you are a man. Men are more impulsive then women. (Or perhaps women are too flippy to keep a line of thought. Ohhh, I may get flap for that one. What I mean is that we, women, have so much on the go.) Do you know what brought this on?
>
> If I'm being too nosey just let me know.
>
> Your Friend
> Little WillowDear Willow,
I didn't know that you lived so far away.
No,...you are not being too nosey. The
suicidal thoughts, unfortunately, are not
new. I get extremely lonely at times and
that is what brings on my suicidal thoughts.
I have friends, but they just do not
understand my illness, so I have to keep
many things to myself. I am also sick
and tired of depression itself; the over-
sleeping,the appetite loss, feelings of being
disconnected, fatigue, etc.... I socialize
a lot, but I still get the awful feelings of
loneliness and emptiness.Thank you, Willow, for being concerned;
I hope I haven't depressed you.Glenn
Posted by Willow on August 6, 2001, at 23:14:24
In reply to Re: Glenn ..., posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 6, 2001, at 21:47:55
Talking about depression is new to me, though I've suffered a long time with it, so talking about it doesn't upset me. I think not talking about it is more painful, like not scratching an itch.
Unfortunately even with me being familar with it I don't have a cure. I do understand what you mean about being alone though. I'm fairly outgoing and friendly, though I often feel like an outsider looking in. I think most people do. I believe the worst comes when we lose hope or don't care anymore. Apathy, indiffernce, to me that is scary for me because I'm normally an emotional soul.
I'm usually here if you need to talk, just a cyber-mile away!
Willow
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 7, 2001, at 0:21:45
In reply to Glenn » Glenn Fagelson, posted by Willow on August 6, 2001, at 23:14:24
> Talking about depression is new to me, though I've suffered a long time with it, so talking about it doesn't upset me. I think not talking about it is more painful, like not scratching an itch.
>
> Unfortunately even with me being familar with it I don't have a cure. I do understand what you mean about being alone though. I'm fairly outgoing and friendly, though I often feel like an outsider looking in. I think most people do. I believe the worst comes when we lose hope or don't care anymore. Apathy, indiffernce, to me that is scary for me because I'm normally an emotional soul.
>
> I'm usually here if you need to talk, just a cyber-mile away!
>
> WillowThanks, Willow; and I agree with you!
Glenn
Posted by Kingfish on August 7, 2001, at 5:29:36
In reply to Re: Glenn ..., posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 6, 2001, at 21:29:45
Glenn:
I seem to be a bit better today.
I am relying so much on my medication working right now. I, too, am so tired of dealing with depression - the fatigue, the inability to accomplish things, the fear of suicide. Do you think you need a tweak in your meds?
I certainly understand what you're going through, perhaps not completely, for we each have a different perspective, but in a larger sense.
I have never joined a support group, but wonder if that might be effective. I do know that talking about it is helpful. And writing about it is helpful.
This is something I found a while back from Dr. Goldberg's site. I guess I should mention that I think it is copyrighted (some argument from the Admin board - I don't know). Anyway, the site is:
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.html
----
Speeding Your Recovery from Depression
Hints for Speeding Your Recovery from Depression.
By, Ivan K. Goldberg, M.D.
In addition to psychotherapy and medication, the following are some simple things
which will help speed your recovery from depression. The more of them that you
can make yourself to do, the faster you are likely to feel better.1. Do not remain in bed or sleep for more than 8-hours a day. Over-sleeping has
been shown to increase depressed feelings.
2. Get outside for at least 1/2-hour between 11 AM and 2 PM. Bright light has
been shown to have an antidepressant effect. Getting out of doors even on a
moderately overcast day gives you the light your require.
3. Walk briskly, or get some other exercise, for at least 30-minutes every day.
Taking a walk out of doors between 11 AM and 2 PM takes care of both your need
for bright light and you need for exercise.
4. Totally abstain from the use of alcohol and recreational drugs. . Alcohol and
street drugs both induce depression and prevent antidepressants from working
effectively. If you must drink, limit your intake of alcohol to not more than
three units of alcohol PER WEEK. (A unit of alcohol is a 12 oz. bottle of beer,
a 4-oz. glass of wine, or a 1-1/2 oz. shot of whisky.) Totally avoid the use of
street drugs.
5. Increase the amount of Omega-3 fatty acids in your diet. . There is highly
suggestive evidence that increasing one's intake of EPA, one of the Omega-3
fatty acids, helps recovery from depression. This can be done most easily by
taking a supplement that contains 600 mg. or 1,000 mg. of EPA in each capsule.
The total daily intake of EPA should be about 5,000 mg., and it should be
divided into three or four doses each day. Capsules containing EPA can be
purchased in any "health food" store.
6. Avoid the use of products that contain aspartame (Equal® or NutraSweet®). It
has been shown that many people with depression become more depressed when they
use these products.
Ivan K. Goldberg, M.D.
1556 Third Avenue
New York, NY 10128
+1-212-876-7800
Revised 2/18/01
-----Take care and keep talking about it. I'm happy to share more thoughts if you like.
- K.
Posted by Roo on August 7, 2001, at 11:06:42
In reply to Re: Glenn ... - from K, posted by Kingfish on August 7, 2001, at 5:29:36
Glenn--
Also remember you are grieving. You've just lost
someone you loved, and it takes time to heal and
feel better. It's natural to feel sad right now.
Make sure you are taking good care of yourself. Make
sure your meds (if you take them) are adjusted to
the level they need to be to handle this bumpy time.
Try to reach out to some of the people you socialize
with. You don't need to tell them about your depression,
but you could tell them about your broken heart. That's
something most people can empathize with and relate
to. I'm going through the same thing. Just losing the
man I've been close with and my constant companion for
3 years. I feel unbearably lonely and sad sometimes,
and have a tendency to be critical of myself about the
whole thing. I've found it helps to _really_ lean
hard on my friends. I feel pathetic sometimes, but it
does help to talk about it. If you ever want to email
me, feel free to. Hang in there. This pain is hard,
but it won't last. There is light at the end of the
tunnel and you will love and be loved, again. Love yourself
in the meantime. And again, adjust meds if need be.
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 7, 2001, at 21:18:09
In reply to Re: Glenn ... - from K, posted by Kingfish on August 7, 2001, at 5:29:36
> Glenn:
>
> I seem to be a bit better today.
>
> I am relying so much on my medication working right now. I, too, am so tired of dealing with depression - the fatigue, the inability to accomplish things, the fear of suicide. Do you think you need a tweak in your meds?
>
> I certainly understand what you're going through, perhaps not completely, for we each have a different perspective, but in a larger sense.
>
> I have never joined a support group, but wonder if that might be effective. I do know that talking about it is helpful. And writing about it is helpful.
>
> This is something I found a while back from Dr. Goldberg's site. I guess I should mention that I think it is copyrighted (some argument from the Admin board - I don't know). Anyway, the site is:
>
> http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.html
>
> ----
>
> Speeding Your Recovery from Depression
> Hints for Speeding Your Recovery from Depression.
>
>
> By, Ivan K. Goldberg, M.D.
>
>
> In addition to psychotherapy and medication, the following are some simple things
> which will help speed your recovery from depression. The more of them that you
> can make yourself to do, the faster you are likely to feel better.
>
> 1. Do not remain in bed or sleep for more than 8-hours a day. Over-sleeping has
> been shown to increase depressed feelings.
>
>
> 2. Get outside for at least 1/2-hour between 11 AM and 2 PM. Bright light has
> been shown to have an antidepressant effect. Getting out of doors even on a
> moderately overcast day gives you the light your require.
>
>
> 3. Walk briskly, or get some other exercise, for at least 30-minutes every day.
> Taking a walk out of doors between 11 AM and 2 PM takes care of both your need
> for bright light and you need for exercise.
>
>
> 4. Totally abstain from the use of alcohol and recreational drugs. . Alcohol and
> street drugs both induce depression and prevent antidepressants from working
> effectively. If you must drink, limit your intake of alcohol to not more than
> three units of alcohol PER WEEK. (A unit of alcohol is a 12 oz. bottle of beer,
> a 4-oz. glass of wine, or a 1-1/2 oz. shot of whisky.) Totally avoid the use of
> street drugs.
>
>
> 5. Increase the amount of Omega-3 fatty acids in your diet. . There is highly
> suggestive evidence that increasing one's intake of EPA, one of the Omega-3
> fatty acids, helps recovery from depression. This can be done most easily by
> taking a supplement that contains 600 mg. or 1,000 mg. of EPA in each capsule.
> The total daily intake of EPA should be about 5,000 mg., and it should be
> divided into three or four doses each day. Capsules containing EPA can be
> purchased in any "health food" store.
>
>
> 6. Avoid the use of products that contain aspartame (Equal® or NutraSweet®). It
> has been shown that many people with depression become more depressed when they
> use these products.
>
>
> Ivan K. Goldberg, M.D.
> 1556 Third Avenue
> New York, NY 10128
> +1-212-876-7800
>
>
> Revised 2/18/01
> -----
>
> Take care and keep talking about it. I'm happy to share more thoughts if you like.
>
> - K.Thank you, Kingfish, for your post, the
website, and the info by Goldberg.Yes, my medications were tweaked 2 days ago.
My doc doubled my Celexa to 80mg. I am waiting
for it to take effect.Indeed! Support groups can be very effective
Talking and writing about things is very
therapeutic.By all means, continue to share more of your
thoughts.Glenn
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 7, 2001, at 21:35:47
In reply to Re: Glenn ... - from K, posted by Roo on August 7, 2001, at 11:06:42
> Glenn--
>
> Also remember you are grieving. You've just lost
> someone you loved, and it takes time to heal and
> feel better. It's natural to feel sad right now.
> Make sure you are taking good care of yourself. Make
> sure your meds (if you take them) are adjusted to
> the level they need to be to handle this bumpy time.
> Try to reach out to some of the people you socialize
> with. You don't need to tell them about your depression,
> but you could tell them about your broken heart. That's
> something most people can empathize with and relate
> to. I'm going through the same thing. Just losing the
> man I've been close with and my constant companion for
> 3 years. I feel unbearably lonely and sad sometimes,
> and have a tendency to be critical of myself about the
> whole thing. I've found it helps to _really_ lean
> hard on my friends. I feel pathetic sometimes, but it
> does help to talk about it. If you ever want to email
> me, feel free to. Hang in there. This pain is hard,
> but it won't last. There is light at the end of the
> tunnel and you will love and be loved, again. Love yourself
> in the meantime. And again, adjust meds if need be.Hi Roo,
Thank you for your kind post!
I am sorry to hear that you have been
going through a breakup yourself- My heart
has indeed been broken, but I am trying to
get passed it. How long has it been since
the breakup with your boyfriend? I will
keep in touch.Hang in there,
Glenn
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 7, 2001, at 21:38:14
In reply to Re: Glenn ... - from K, posted by Kingfish on August 7, 2001, at 5:29:36
> Glenn:
>
> I seem to be a bit better today.
>
> I am relying so much on my medication working right now. I, too, am so tired of dealing with depression - the fatigue, the inability to accomplish things, the fear of suicide. Do you think you need a tweak in your meds?
>
> I certainly understand what you're going through, perhaps not completely, for we each have a different perspective, but in a larger sense.
>
> I have never joined a support group, but wonder if that might be effective. I do know that talking about it is helpful. And writing about it is helpful.
>
> This is something I found a while back from Dr. Goldberg's site. I guess I should mention that I think it is copyrighted (some argument from the Admin board - I don't know). Anyway, the site is:
>
> http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.html
>
> ----
>
> Speeding Your Recovery from Depression
> Hints for Speeding Your Recovery from Depression.
>
>
> By, Ivan K. Goldberg, M.D.
>
>
> In addition to psychotherapy and medication, the following are some simple things
> which will help speed your recovery from depression. The more of them that you
> can make yourself to do, the faster you are likely to feel better.
>
> 1. Do not remain in bed or sleep for more than 8-hours a day. Over-sleeping has
> been shown to increase depressed feelings.
>
>
> 2. Get outside for at least 1/2-hour between 11 AM and 2 PM. Bright light has
> been shown to have an antidepressant effect. Getting out of doors even on a
> moderately overcast day gives you the light your require.
>
>
> 3. Walk briskly, or get some other exercise, for at least 30-minutes every day.
> Taking a walk out of doors between 11 AM and 2 PM takes care of both your need
> for bright light and you need for exercise.
>
>
> 4. Totally abstain from the use of alcohol and recreational drugs. . Alcohol and
> street drugs both induce depression and prevent antidepressants from working
> effectively. If you must drink, limit your intake of alcohol to not more than
> three units of alcohol PER WEEK. (A unit of alcohol is a 12 oz. bottle of beer,
> a 4-oz. glass of wine, or a 1-1/2 oz. shot of whisky.) Totally avoid the use of
> street drugs.
>
>
> 5. Increase the amount of Omega-3 fatty acids in your diet. . There is highly
> suggestive evidence that increasing one's intake of EPA, one of the Omega-3
> fatty acids, helps recovery from depression. This can be done most easily by
> taking a supplement that contains 600 mg. or 1,000 mg. of EPA in each capsule.
> The total daily intake of EPA should be about 5,000 mg., and it should be
> divided into three or four doses each day. Capsules containing EPA can be
> purchased in any "health food" store.
>
>
> 6. Avoid the use of products that contain aspartame (Equal® or NutraSweet®). It
> has been shown that many people with depression become more depressed when they
> use these products.
>
>
> Ivan K. Goldberg, M.D.
> 1556 Third Avenue
> New York, NY 10128
> +1-212-876-7800
>
>
> Revised 2/18/01
> -----
>
> Take care and keep talking about it. I'm happy to share more thoughts if you like.
>
> - K.Kingfish, the previous post is for you.
Glenn
Posted by Roo on August 8, 2001, at 8:27:16
In reply to Re: Glenn ... - from K » Roo, posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 7, 2001, at 21:35:47
Glenn--
It hasn't even been 2 weeks since my boyfriend
and I broke up. Ugh. It just hurts. I was the
one to end it, and it still hurts like hell.
>
>
Posted by Wendy B. on August 8, 2001, at 13:14:29
In reply to Re: Glenn ... -Glenn, posted by Roo on August 8, 2001, at 8:27:16
> Glenn--
>
> It hasn't even been 2 weeks since my boyfriend
> and I broke up. Ugh. It just hurts. I was the
> one to end it, and it still hurts like hell.
> >
Hi guys,I am into month 8 (count 'em, eight) of breakup-land... I wish I could be more encouraging about the time it takes to heal & feel better, it's just so hard. I do understand where you two are...
I am still pretty much grieving, like losing a family member. Roo, it was the same with us, we talked and shared so much: life, work, music. My child loved him. He left us because he didn't think he could really love anyone, so he said. He said he didn't think this relationship was "the one." Then started up with a girl about 15 yrs. younger than us about 3 weeks after he left.
I cannot get over some of the anger I still hold inside. In one fell swoop, he took away my lover and my best friend. It was gut-wrenching... Now I just feel that if he was willing to drop me, someone who has love, can give love, is smart, kind, beautiful, has a sweet daughter, cooks, whatever, then it's HIS problem, right? Still, I feel inadequate (sp?) and like it was my fault, even though I know, intellectually, it wasn't. It was his own unwillingness, inability, to be the person that I needed. So it's all for the best, I know.
We weren't the perfect couple, both of us suffer from bipolar illness, we're on meds and therapy. Each of us has a problem with anger and impulsiveness. We both lost parents: he lost his mother due to an accident at age 8, I never knew my deadbeat father. My shrink said: so that would mean you could have had compassion and understanding for each other... But it didn't work out that way. And I still grieve every day.
The shrink says my relationship "issues" all have to do with never knowing my dad. So I'm in the middle of the process of searching him out. Found out, only last week, from one of his brothers, where he lives and got an address. Now I'm trying to write the hardest letter I've ever written. "Dear Father, You don't know me, but I'm your fourth child, Wendy..."
Weirdsville, USA.Anyway, I wish you both peace, and to anyone else who's going through a recent (in the last 25 yrs.or so!) breakup...
:-] keep on truckin',
Wendy
Posted by Kingfish on August 8, 2001, at 15:38:56
In reply to for Kingfish » Kingfish, posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 7, 2001, at 21:38:14
> Why, thank you. ;) I have been very bad at taking my own "advice."
Very sorry to hear about your break-up. Hope the Celexa helps soon.
- K.
Posted by Roo on August 9, 2001, at 9:15:02
In reply to Re: Glenn Roo - breaking up » Roo, posted by Wendy B. on August 8, 2001, at 13:14:29
Wow Wendy--that is intense stuff. I hope you have
had some moments of happiness and peace in between
the grieving. Good luck with your dad--I know that
must be scarey! I have suspected that some of my
relationship issues are related to me not having a
real relationship with my father as well...I guess it's
never too late, but it's hard to break old habits.
Thanks for sharing your story, and you will be in my
thoughts.
Posted by Wendy B. on August 9, 2001, at 12:17:36
In reply to Re: Glenn Roo - breaking up, posted by Roo on August 9, 2001, at 9:15:02
> Wow Wendy--that is intense stuff. I hope you have
> had some moments of happiness and peace in between
> the grieving. Good luck with your dad--I know that
> must be scarey! I have suspected that some of my
> relationship issues are related to me not having a
> real relationship with my father as well...I guess it's
> never too late, but it's hard to break old habits.
> Thanks for sharing your story, and you will be in my
> thoughts.
Thanks, Roo,
Of course, there have been MANY more moments of happiness and peace as time goes by. My daughter is a solace and a constant in my life. Many folks say that their children ground them, and they wouldn't know how they'd make it through without their kids, and I must say, I am one of those people. Also the Wellbutrin combo with the Neurontin is very good, and I feel it working over time. The sadness is in the background, but there every day, like some wound that won't heal. We'll see if "finding the father" makes the pain ease, or just makes me more depressed! Yikes, it's gonna be a bumpy ride with that one, I can tell already!Regarding your father issues: I think a lot of fathers are "absent" even if they live in the same house with their children... For a woman to be able to feel confident and whole, she needs to have had good fathering, I am sure of this. I am reading "The Wounded Woman" by Linda Leonard, which talks about "healing" the father-daughter relationship. It's good, maybe you'd like it, too.
Thank you for caring, Roo. Glenn, let us know how you're feeling too.
Love,
W.
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 9, 2001, at 21:19:49
In reply to Re: Glenn ... -Glenn, posted by Roo on August 8, 2001, at 8:27:16
> Glenn--
>
> It hasn't even been 2 weeks since my boyfriend
> and I broke up. Ugh. It just hurts. I was the
> one to end it, and it still hurts like hell.
I am so sorry, Roo, that you are in so much
pain; I can imagine that your heart is really
aching. I remember how devastated I was 2 weeks
after I broke up with my girlfriend; I was
inconsolable! Maybe I am being too nosey, but
how come you ended the relationship? I can
give you my e-mail address, if you
do not want to broadcast it over psycho-babble.Hang in there,
Glenn> >
> >
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on August 9, 2001, at 21:35:13
In reply to Re: Glenn Roo - breaking up » Roo, posted by Wendy B. on August 8, 2001, at 13:14:29
> > Glenn--
> >
> > It hasn't even been 2 weeks since my boyfriend
> > and I broke up. Ugh. It just hurts. I was the
> > one to end it, and it still hurts like hell.
> > >
>
>
> Hi guys,
>
> I am into month 8 (count 'em, eight) of breakup-land... I wish I could be more encouraging about the time it takes to heal & feel better, it's just so hard. I do understand where you two are...
>
> I am still pretty much grieving, like losing a family member. Roo, it was the same with us, we talked and shared so much: life, work, music. My child loved him. He left us because he didn't think he could really love anyone, so he said. He said he didn't think this relationship was "the one." Then started up with a girl about 15 yrs. younger than us about 3 weeks after he left.
>
> I cannot get over some of the anger I still hold inside. In one fell swoop, he took away my lover and my best friend. It was gut-wrenching... Now I just feel that if he was willing to drop me, someone who has love, can give love, is smart, kind, beautiful, has a sweet daughter, cooks, whatever, then it's HIS problem, right? Still, I feel inadequate (sp?) and like it was my fault, even though I know, intellectually, it wasn't. It was his own unwillingness, inability, to be the person that I needed. So it's all for the best, I know.
>
> We weren't the perfect couple, both of us suffer from bipolar illness, we're on meds and therapy. Each of us has a problem with anger and impulsiveness. We both lost parents: he lost his mother due to an accident at age 8, I never knew my deadbeat father. My shrink said: so that would mean you could have had compassion and understanding for each other... But it didn't work out that way. And I still grieve every day.
>
> The shrink says my relationship "issues" all have to do with never knowing my dad. So I'm in the middle of the process of searching him out. Found out, only last week, from one of his brothers, where he lives and got an address. Now I'm trying to write the hardest letter I've ever written. "Dear Father, You don't know me, but I'm your fourth child, Wendy..."
> Weirdsville, USA.
>
> Anyway, I wish you both peace, and to anyone else who's going through a recent (in the last 25 yrs.or so!) breakup...
>
> :-] keep on truckin',
>
> Wendy
Dear Wendy,I remember how bruised my ego was right after
my breakup; I felt so inadequate. "How could
she leave me?", I would ask myself. My heart
still feels like it has a hole in it, at times.
Right after the break-up, it literally hurt me
to breathe. I can understand your anger; I
would have been extremely angry if my ex-
girlfriend had started dating someone else
3 weeks after our breakup. Try to be as
kind as possible to yourself;you deserve it.Hang in there,
Glenn
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