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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Lemonaide on July 18, 2008, at 21:21:05
I hate my husband he is a jerk. I just can't take it anymore, his family, all the sh*t that come along with him. I told him tonight I am leaving him. Of course he does nothing wrong, ever. So I said since everything is always my fault, then I am leaving. I guess the only thing he will miss is someone to blame on everything he does.
Time to find a job now.
Posted by Hermitian on July 18, 2008, at 21:44:51
In reply to I have lost it, I can't take it anymore, posted by Lemonaide on July 18, 2008, at 21:21:05
Man... Sorry to hear that. I feel for you. The guy sounds like a narcissist. And thats a tough nut to crack. There's not a lot of good web material on dealing with people like that. Although see this site.
http://groups.msn.com/WebofNarcissism/wonwelcome1.msnw
The sad thing is that the label is used to inaccurately tar a lot of flawed but real people with a very broad brush. Given that, stay away from anything written by Sam Vaknin. He's a dysfunctional, but unfortunately pervasive idiot who has gotten credibility simply by showing up. (Woody Allen was right.) His solution is to tie millstones around their necks and sink then. But we all know that life is more complicated than that.
Best of Luck,
Hermitian
Posted by Lemonaide on July 18, 2008, at 23:19:55
In reply to Re: I have lost it, I can't take it anymore, posted by Hermitian on July 18, 2008, at 21:44:51
Thanks, my T told me he had OCPD with a taste of narcissism thrown in.It is really hard to live with someone like this.
Posted by Phillipa on July 18, 2008, at 23:42:44
In reply to Re: I have lost it, I can't take it anymore » Hermitian, posted by Lemonaide on July 18, 2008, at 23:19:55
I'm living with one too. Love Phillipa he is never wrong always right. I ignore him and leave as much as I can.
Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 19, 2008, at 8:02:16
In reply to Re: I have lost it, I can't take it anymore » Hermitian, posted by Lemonaide on July 18, 2008, at 23:19:55
> Thanks, my T told me he had OCPD with a taste of narcissism thrown in.It is really hard to live with someone like this.
>
>What's the cure? Sorry you're so distressed. My SIL is going through a rather complicated divorce. They don't have any kids, just money and property and retirement accounts to split. What a mess. A very charged emotional mess. :( I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
I guess the only consolation is that you haven't been in love with him for some time now, so at least you won't be quite so emotionally distraught at losing your partner.
-Ll
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2008, at 11:10:16
In reply to I have lost it, I can't take it anymore, posted by Lemonaide on July 18, 2008, at 21:21:05
It's a big step. Your kids are homeschooled. Will they continue to be able to be homeschooled if you're working to support them? What financial arrangements need to be made? Would you get the house? Would your husband fight for custody?
I think it would be wise to consult with an attorney before you do anything. There are a lot of real world consequences to divorce. Getting some of them taken care of beforehand could save a lot of pain later.
What does your therapist think?
Posted by antigua3 on July 19, 2008, at 11:54:21
In reply to I have lost it, I can't take it anymore, posted by Lemonaide on July 18, 2008, at 21:21:05
The strength and indpendence you've learned over the last two years (even with your difficult situation w/your earlier T) have helped you recognize that you can do this if you really want to. You will find a way.
You have a right to live how YOU want to live, and you deserve a happy life, whether it's w/your husband or not. So do what's best for you and your kids.
good luck,
antigua
Posted by Lemonaide on July 19, 2008, at 16:39:56
In reply to Re: I have lost it, I can't take it anymore, posted by antigua3 on July 19, 2008, at 11:54:21
Well I think I just blew my top, it happens once in a great while. But I said it, I am leaving, I have had it. I have never said it I believe. It was bad it was right within earshot of the kids too. I feel really bad about that. I talked to them and they understand I just got angry, they were worried. My son has been a little tough to deal with lately and he felt bad like it was all his fault.
So this morning my husband bought me flowers and I told him that he couldn't buy me. I went upstairs in our bedroom and watched TV. I watched September 11 I believe it was called. I don't know but it made me think about my life, and I don't think I really want a divorse. I told my husband I was sorry for saying what I said and I don't remember what he said. I can't say we made up because there isn't much of a relationship left anyway to make up. But I have been weepy all day.Thinking about my T and what he is going to do for me. Nobody has ever helped me like this, he didn't have to do this, but he wants to, he has things he wants to tell my T about his own experience.
Somehow he believes that my situation was sent his way as a way to help him deal with his feelings with a long time client. So this whole thing has gotten a lot bigger than I ever could imagine. He believes things happen for a reason.I see him Tues, I am glad, I don't know when he will be able to talk to my old T, but maybe he has already. I am anxious to see what he says. I have been having dreams of this, of my old T just breaking down in front of me crying for what he did to me, then me crying and then we embrace, and all is forgiven. But it was only a dream.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on July 22, 2008, at 10:04:22
In reply to Re: I have lost it, I can't take it anymore, posted by Lemonaide on July 19, 2008, at 16:39:56
Oh, sweetie: I understand; I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal (emotional) abuse and some physical abuse.
I was the poster-child for the fear of being alone; aftr 3 years, it hasn't gotten any better. I am the moderator of an abused survivors' group. If you ever want to talk: wacalice@aol.com
Love n hugs, Sassy
I have read Sam Vaknin's stuff; he is a self-proclaimed narcissist.
This is the end of the thread.
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