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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by orchid on February 22, 2006, at 21:46:35
I feel babble triggers a little bit these days. I was actually completely removed off of therapy and psychology and therapists issues for the past 1 and half months when I didn't read babble. And I was doing quite well. Even if there were times when I started feeling bad, I quickly dismissed it or just asked God to take care of it (kind of just pray to God - "You deal with this - it is beyond my capacity", and that actually worked !!), and I didn't think about it much. But for the past 2 - 3 days, when I started reading again, I find that I am getting dreams again, and feel a little sad etc etc. Anyone experiences this?
Posted by Pfinstegg on February 22, 2006, at 22:51:04
In reply to Babble triggers, posted by orchid on February 22, 2006, at 21:46:35
Yes, I do too, at times. I'm not entirely clear as to why, but I think it might be because we only get a little bit of information from other posters, and our minds fill in the gaps in ways which may or (more likely) may not be correct- and sometimes we fill in the blanks with our own unduly negative thoughts. A short while ago, this came up in my therapy, and my T. surprised me by saying that he and some of his colleagues had been discussing the possible negative effects for clients and patients who rely on internet sites, like this one, for more than they can give us. He is very flexible and non-dogmatic, but he did tell me that one of his colleagues had asked his patients not to use them at all, because he felt they caused more anxiety and self-doubt than reassurance and support- just too many unknowns.
Posted by JenStar on February 23, 2006, at 0:02:37
In reply to Re: Babble triggers » orchid, posted by Pfinstegg on February 22, 2006, at 22:51:04
hi Orchid,
it's good to hear from you again! Yes, I know what you mean. Sometimes when I spend time on Babble I get too involved/interested in other posters' issues and lives, and start to re-focus on things in my own life that seem to bring me down. I get too introspective regarding transference/etc, and start to fall back into old feelings.Sometimes it feels like Babble is a huge rut to me, and if I'm not careful, I can fall into it!
But I am also aware that that sounds awful, and I don't think that way about any individual poster. The reason I DO keep coming back is that people here ARE interesting and have neat ideas, and are fun to talk to. I don't MEAN for it to sound awful.
It's just -- sometimes that all the topics here, which helpful to me in some ways, are so close to my trigger points, that it's easy for me to get sucked into emotions I don't want.
You know how they sometimes say, "dress for the job you want, not the job you have"? Sometimes I feel that I should hang out/talk with people who have already conquered problems, rather than people who are IN them. Although, again, I KNOW that sounds awful. And I LIKE the people here, the ones who have conquered and the ones still in the process of doing it. It's honest, though. Do you know what I mean? Does that make me sound mean or insensitive?
JenStar
Posted by Daisym on February 23, 2006, at 0:16:03
In reply to Re: Babble triggers » orchid, posted by Pfinstegg on February 22, 2006, at 22:51:04
I think at issue is whether people bring their doubts or fears into their therapy. I don't see how participating in a site like this is any different than discussing your therapy among family or friends. Especially friends. Maybe people are more open and honest here, asking questions they don't dare ask anywhere else, or expressing wishes, needs or feelings they think are forbidden, even with their therapist.I think people respond honestly too -- and say things your friends might not say.
I think the biggest danger in a site like this is the amount of time you can spend in front on your computer, isolated from direct human interaction. It can become addictive and it is hard not to want to answer every single post. I can also understand how some therapists believe that the intensity of the feelings or the transference bleeds off or dissipates if it gets processed here, instead of during sessions. But again, how is this different than with a close friend or friends. Or maybe I just have really opinionated friends? :)
I'd be really curious to know more about why a therapist would discourage internet sites as a whole instead of processing the feelings of each individual client. I know I use to get freaked out about some of the abuse sites I would visit, especially the "recovered memory" stuff. And when I would bring it into therapy, my therapist would say, "then stay away from those." Duh. And yes, Babble does trigger intense feelings or reactions sometimes. But again, so does my best friend's opinion of how attached I am to my therapist.
My therapist said to me, "I have no interest in trying to control what you are doing...short of self-harm or illegal activities. I just want you to bring it all up during sessions." Makes total sense to me.
Posted by orchid on February 23, 2006, at 6:10:49
In reply to Re: Babble triggers » Pfinstegg, posted by JenStar on February 23, 2006, at 0:02:37
I perfectly understand what you mean. And it is not mean or anything. What you feel is quite normal.
I also sometime think I should avoid reading anything related to therapy or psychological issues or therapist stories, since I think it brings back old feelings of pain and loss and hurt. It actually often does. But anyway I keep coming here nevertheless - atleast every now and then. But more and more these days I am somehow avoiding reading anything about therapy and psychology and about therapists - it just is somehow very triggering. It is not just babble, it is actually everything that has to do with therapy and psychology. But I also really love the people here and anyway keep coming back even if it triggers:-)
Nice to talk to you too.
Posted by orchid on February 23, 2006, at 6:13:16
In reply to Re: Babble triggers » orchid, posted by Pfinstegg on February 22, 2006, at 22:51:04
I think what your therapist's colleague has done is sometimes valid. But not always. Babble does help a lot too.Especially with feelings that you can't say to anyone else in the real world.
Posted by orchid on February 23, 2006, at 6:15:15
In reply to Re: Babble triggers » Pfinstegg, posted by Daisym on February 23, 2006, at 0:16:03
I understand what you are saying
Posted by LittleGirlLost on February 23, 2006, at 12:28:14
In reply to Babble triggers, posted by orchid on February 22, 2006, at 21:46:35
> Anyone experiences this?
Very much so! (which is why I have to limit my posting) I find that I'm not only triggered by hearing of others experiences (both positive and negative), but also talking about my own experience triggers the feelings as well. I'm not even sure I understand it.
You're not alone.
lgl
Posted by Tamar on February 23, 2006, at 18:01:38
In reply to Babble triggers, posted by orchid on February 22, 2006, at 21:46:35
> I feel babble triggers a little bit these days. I was actually completely removed off of therapy and psychology and therapists issues for the past 1 and half months when I didn't read babble. And I was doing quite well. Even if there were times when I started feeling bad, I quickly dismissed it or just asked God to take care of it (kind of just pray to God - "You deal with this - it is beyond my capacity", and that actually worked !!), and I didn't think about it much. But for the past 2 - 3 days, when I started reading again, I find that I am getting dreams again, and feel a little sad etc etc. Anyone experiences this?
Yes, I’ve felt similar things. And often it’s for a good reason: I’ve been trying to put my experience behind me before I’m really ready for it.In may case, I’m always triggered by rape stories. And I’d like to be able to say it doesn’t bother me any more. But I think I won’t ever be able to put it completely behind me. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes in the future it will hurt. And at those times, I’ll need to be able to look for support to deal with it. I know now that I’ll never be 100% better; I’ll never recover completely. I’ll always have a weakness. But with appropriate support, I can make that weakness into a strength.
If you find you get sad reading Babble, perhaps it’s because you’re experiencing a bit more sadness about what happened in your past. And that’s OK. It’s bound to happen from time to time. You’ve experienced some intensely shocking and distressing things, and it might be too early to feel you’ve healed completely. If you still need support, we’re here. It’s a long haul… but we love you and care about you. You can talk to us about it any time.
Tamar
Posted by Pfinstegg on February 23, 2006, at 18:32:00
In reply to Re: Babble triggers » Pfinstegg, posted by orchid on February 23, 2006, at 6:13:16
I think that's true. Many people have brought up feelings and thoughts here as a way to get the positive reinforcement and courage they need to talk about them in therapy. I think that's a wonderful way to use this site- and others, if there are any?
I think the reason it came up with my analyst and his colleagues is that they thought some people might be using sites like this INSTEAD of engaging fully in therapy. An example is the thread above about, not just googling (when I did that, my T said, "what took you so long?"), but finding out passwords and reading e-mail. I don't think it's possible to engage fully in therapy, and also secretly read your T's e-mails. Just the fact that it is secret would make it unacceptable to my analyst; I think he would "fire' me!
But I'm taking to heart the fact that he brought it up at all. I tell him stuff every time that I would never dare to mention here, so I use this site more to see how everyone is getting along, and say how I'm doing, as well. Over time, you get fond of people, feel bad if they are having an especially hard time, and love to hear when they feel they are growing and daring to do new, rewarding things.
This is the end of the thread.
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