![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by messadivoce on April 7, 2005, at 3:24:07
I e-mailed my former T tonight. I couldn't sleep, had too much on my mind, and I did have some important things to say. An important event in my life, and some musings on my termination with him since it was almost 1 year ago. I told him I still have "hangover" feelings about him, and that sometimes I wonder if it was worth it, or if I was exchanging one problem for another. That my therapy with him was beneficial and I'm able to handle life a lot better but I still miss him. It was the first e-mail I've sent that I've not re-written a million times. Just fresh, honest, me.
I sent it and I have a feeling I won't be checking my e-mail obsessively waiting for a reply...I don't care if he gets upset with me for e-mailing him too much...I do miss him and it does hurt but it feels differently, like the rain we're getting here for spring. Not thunderstorms, but light spring rain that cleanses and washes away the dirt and is warm and alive. Is this how healing feels? Does it still hurt, but a different kind of hurt? A cut healing over?
Promise you guys won't be mad if I post next week whining about how much I miss him. This seems too good to be true. :-/
Posted by alexandra_k on April 7, 2005, at 3:32:09
In reply to Is this how it feels?, posted by messadivoce on April 7, 2005, at 3:24:07
I think...
I think thats right.
The pain doesn't go away
But the tears are cleansing
Rather than heart wrenching.
I get that sometimes
But then I revert.
But I think that is how it is supposed to go.
:-)
Posted by Daisym on April 7, 2005, at 10:40:20
In reply to Re: Is this how it feels? » messadivoce, posted by alexandra_k on April 7, 2005, at 3:32:09
I think mourning a loss has so many different faces. What you describe sounds a lot like bitter-sweet acceptance or the more tender side of grief. Bruised but not beaten.
Mood swings around here are totally fine -- my goodness, we'd all be in trouble if we couldn't do that! I read back a year ago and I'm still writing about the same big worry. *sigh*
I hope you buy yourself flowers today and the rain stays gentle.
Posted by Shortelise on April 7, 2005, at 10:54:01
In reply to Is this how it feels?, posted by messadivoce on April 7, 2005, at 3:24:07
Voce, as far as I'm concerned there are two rules around here: no swearing and no insulting others. In other words, play nice.
If there were rules about mind-changing, mood swings, complete hypocrisy, etc., I'd have a life ban by now.
About the easiness of missing your former T - just enjoy it. Are things ok for you right now? Is that why you're feeling relaxed? If so, that's great! Enjoy!
Sometimes it feels like I question things too much, so much so that I am so busy trying to figure out what's in the delicious soup that I forget to enjoy it!
I have been lucky enough throughout my life to be able to recognize wonderful moments while they were happening. I have known complete and utter contentment, pure happiness, too, and been aware of it. Those moments are the beacons of my life.
Voce, enjoy this peaceful time. You earned it!
ShortE
Posted by pinkeye on April 7, 2005, at 13:00:47
In reply to Is this how it feels?, posted by messadivoce on April 7, 2005, at 3:24:07
Take Care Voce.
I think to get real emotional growth out of therapy, it needs to go slow - both catching on, and changing and finally letting go. Emotions don't change overnight like our logic.And what you are going through with your ex T seems to be right on track towards your healing - as long as he does not come back and say that you are emailing him too much. I hope for you, that he will allow this kind of trickling down of communication for you instead of chopping it off - that he would realize that it is needed for your emotions, and is willing to do that final bit for you.
And I love the spring fresh rains... soft and mild and gentle.. I think you are cleaning up too with it. Don't hurt yourself or force yourself too much in the process though.. I did it little bit to myself, but I wish I hadn't done it. But mine was a totally different story. I couldn't even pay my therapist, so from the begining I always felt like a burden and nuisance to him.
Posted by pinkeye on April 7, 2005, at 13:07:51
In reply to Is this how it feels?, posted by messadivoce on April 7, 2005, at 3:24:07
Also write here as much as you want... by writing again and again and again, your heart will heal. I am realizing that in the past 2 months, since I wrote a lot more in babble, I finally ended up growing emotionally myself.
And I am thinking I am becoming more and more independant and not needy of my old T. Many days, I am able to look back and be happy that I met him and knew him, and don't feel bad about the fact that I had so little access to him.. some days are more difficult, and I come here to find support during those days, and it helps me move on. Write as much as you want - I feel in fact the more you write, the better it is for you..
Posted by messadivoce on April 8, 2005, at 2:13:12
In reply to Re: Is this how it feels? » messadivoce, posted by Shortelise on April 7, 2005, at 10:54:01
It has not been an easy week. Tons of schoolwork and people dropping the ball on me and minor crises. Family stuff not really better, just quiet right now. So honestly, I don't know why I feel this way, but I'm not going to ask too many questions. Maybe because it's been almost a year since I've terminated with him.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.