Posted by messadivoce on April 7, 2005, at 3:24:07
I e-mailed my former T tonight. I couldn't sleep, had too much on my mind, and I did have some important things to say. An important event in my life, and some musings on my termination with him since it was almost 1 year ago. I told him I still have "hangover" feelings about him, and that sometimes I wonder if it was worth it, or if I was exchanging one problem for another. That my therapy with him was beneficial and I'm able to handle life a lot better but I still miss him. It was the first e-mail I've sent that I've not re-written a million times. Just fresh, honest, me.
I sent it and I have a feeling I won't be checking my e-mail obsessively waiting for a reply...I don't care if he gets upset with me for e-mailing him too much...I do miss him and it does hurt but it feels differently, like the rain we're getting here for spring. Not thunderstorms, but light spring rain that cleanses and washes away the dirt and is warm and alive. Is this how healing feels? Does it still hurt, but a different kind of hurt? A cut healing over?
Promise you guys won't be mad if I post next week whining about how much I miss him. This seems too good to be true. :-/
poster:messadivoce
thread:481015
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050329/msgs/481015.html